I wanted to give a little shout-out to my great husband, whose birthday is today!!! He turned the ripe old age of 33. Such an old man already. :) This morning I gave Gregg his gift, Season 4 of The Office, because he (and I) loves that show. (By the way, last night's Office Wedding was awesome!) Tonight we're going out to a restaurant of his choosing.
This day also happens to be the anniversary of when I started my blog here on blogger, three years ago. I had a blog over on The Nest since March 2005, but eventually all my fellow Nestie friends jumped ship and went to Blogspot. Caving into pressure, I followed suit. Okay, so not really. I just wanted a pretty new blog!
Colton and I are finally on the mend after being sick for the past two weeks. For the last several days, I lived off of chicken soup and Kleenex. One night, Colton woke up nearly every hour screaming and crying because he was so congested. He's never been up that many times in one night, even when he was a newborn. It was awful. His appetite decreased noticeably while being sick, and I started getting a little worried. But then this morning he ate like 1,000 cheerios and half a banana and last night he polished off several pieces of chicken and handfuls of rice. So I'd say he's feeling better.
On Tuesday I had the car to myself and we went to a MOMS club meeting in the morning, then had lunch at Panera and picked up a few things at BJ's in the afternoon. Colton was really well behaved the whole time. He wouldn't leave my side though at the MOMS group. I tried to encourage him to play with the toys and other kids, but he was having none of it. On Thursday we went to another mom's house for a play date, and it took him a little over an hour before he actually crawled more than five inches away from me. He would freak out if I got up to do anything. I have to say, though, that I am loving my mommies group. It's wonderful to have a cup of coffee with other moms and talk while our kids play (or cling to my leg!) There's a Mom's Night Out at the end of the month I'm really looking forward to.
Gregg and I are also really enjoying the church we've been attending for the last six weeks. The worship is incredible and we can see ourselves forming some good connections there. Last week they had a going away brunch/party for a couple, and we got to fellowship with some people which was nice. This upcoming Sunday, they're doing something called Faith In Action where they cancel their regular worship service and do some work in the community. It should be a great way to meet other people while we serve.
I've been feeling very blessed lately, with these two opportunities to get to know others. Sometimes I am so focused on keeping a home and pouring into my child that I forget how important it is to be in relationship with other people. I've also been trying to work harder on my relationship with God. I think being away from a church to call home for so long has hardened my heart and I've definitely drifted from Him. I read a chapter to Colton each day from his Jesus Storybook Bible, and every time I'm reminded of how much He loves me and that there is purpose in life. I love this book because it's written simply for children, yet it doesn't water down the Gospel. I know that it's also over Colton's head at this age, but it's never too early to start speaking God's truth into his life. Part of my role as a mother is to teach my children that there is a God who loves them and rescued them.
Showing posts with label church stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church stuff. Show all posts
Friday, October 09, 2009
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
September Snuck Up On Me
September already??? It's just another one of those times where I shake my head and wonder where in the world the time went. August was over in the blink of an eye. The air is definitely starting to have that "end of summer" feel to it. We can actually turn off the A/C and leave some windows open!
When this time comes around each year, it always makes me think of returning to school. Which, because I'm a total dork, I loved since I liked going to school. In the neighborhood where I grew up, the local Catholic church held an Italian festival during Labor Day weekend with rides, games, and all kinds of yummy (greasy) foods. This signaled our official end to the summer, right before we had to head back into the classroom with our brand spankin' new No. 2 pencils and Trapper Keepers.
Anyway, enough nostalgia. I thought I'd update a little since it's been a while, in case anyone actually reads this anymore! Colton is finally over the cold he picked up at the doctor's office. It really didn't seem to bother him any- he still ate, played, and slept fine. I just couldn't stand wiping his nose every five minutes. He pulls himself up on practically everything now. He's also started cruising the furniture, and his balance has gotten so much better. Today he began walking a little bit with the push toy my mom got him for his birthday.
I have to say even though I miss being able to cuddle with him like I used to when he was a newborn, I am really enjoying this stage so much more. He is completely on whole milk now and hasn't had a bottle in over two weeks. No more measuring out water and formula, mixing, or washing bottles. :) I love that he eats when we eat too- so convenient! More of Colton's personality comes out each day and he is so much fun to spend time with. He makes me laugh with all the funny things he does.
Yes, he does drive me crazy with his rolling like an alligator during diaper changes, and getting into stuff he shouldn't, and whining when he doesn't get his way... But for the most part he is really good. I feel fortunate to have Colton when I read what the other mommies on my August '08 board say about their little ones. They won't eat, they won't sleep, and they throw awful temper tantrums. Coltie is an angel compared to them.
In other news, we may have actually found a church home after all this time!! We found it through the internet search I did about a month ago, and after visiting a few and ruling out (many) others this one seemed to impress us and fit our needs. It's a small congregation that seems to really put into practice Jesus's example of loving and meeting people where they're at. They do a lot of outreach in the community and purchased their own building in the middle of town last fall so they could be accessible to people.
We felt extremely welcomed our first time visiting and felt a connection right away to some of the members there, so we decided to go back this past Sunday. We kept Colton in church with us since he was still getting over his cold and because of the stranger anxiety he suddenly developed a few weeks ago. Everyone commented on how good he was during the service. I like that I didn't feel pressured to put him in the nursery. The pastor's wife offered to show us the nursery, though, when we do feel comfortable taking him there.
Finally after a year and a half, we feel like we have a regular place to worship at, and I no longer feel like I'm just drifting along, not able to put down roots anywhere. I can honestly say this whole experience, while frustrating and sad, has taught me so much about how the unchurched person must feel visiting church. After a while, you start to feel like "why bother?" No wonder so many people stop attending church- they find better fellowship ultimately with their own friends, family and even co-workers than they do there. I started reading The Church Experiment after Angela mentioned it to me and I can totally relate to pretty much everything in it! If you have not yet checked it out, I highly recommend getting yourself over there ASAP and diving on in. :)
When this time comes around each year, it always makes me think of returning to school. Which, because I'm a total dork, I loved since I liked going to school. In the neighborhood where I grew up, the local Catholic church held an Italian festival during Labor Day weekend with rides, games, and all kinds of yummy (greasy) foods. This signaled our official end to the summer, right before we had to head back into the classroom with our brand spankin' new No. 2 pencils and Trapper Keepers.
Anyway, enough nostalgia. I thought I'd update a little since it's been a while, in case anyone actually reads this anymore! Colton is finally over the cold he picked up at the doctor's office. It really didn't seem to bother him any- he still ate, played, and slept fine. I just couldn't stand wiping his nose every five minutes. He pulls himself up on practically everything now. He's also started cruising the furniture, and his balance has gotten so much better. Today he began walking a little bit with the push toy my mom got him for his birthday.
I have to say even though I miss being able to cuddle with him like I used to when he was a newborn, I am really enjoying this stage so much more. He is completely on whole milk now and hasn't had a bottle in over two weeks. No more measuring out water and formula, mixing, or washing bottles. :) I love that he eats when we eat too- so convenient! More of Colton's personality comes out each day and he is so much fun to spend time with. He makes me laugh with all the funny things he does.
Yes, he does drive me crazy with his rolling like an alligator during diaper changes, and getting into stuff he shouldn't, and whining when he doesn't get his way... But for the most part he is really good. I feel fortunate to have Colton when I read what the other mommies on my August '08 board say about their little ones. They won't eat, they won't sleep, and they throw awful temper tantrums. Coltie is an angel compared to them.
In other news, we may have actually found a church home after all this time!! We found it through the internet search I did about a month ago, and after visiting a few and ruling out (many) others this one seemed to impress us and fit our needs. It's a small congregation that seems to really put into practice Jesus's example of loving and meeting people where they're at. They do a lot of outreach in the community and purchased their own building in the middle of town last fall so they could be accessible to people.
We felt extremely welcomed our first time visiting and felt a connection right away to some of the members there, so we decided to go back this past Sunday. We kept Colton in church with us since he was still getting over his cold and because of the stranger anxiety he suddenly developed a few weeks ago. Everyone commented on how good he was during the service. I like that I didn't feel pressured to put him in the nursery. The pastor's wife offered to show us the nursery, though, when we do feel comfortable taking him there.
Finally after a year and a half, we feel like we have a regular place to worship at, and I no longer feel like I'm just drifting along, not able to put down roots anywhere. I can honestly say this whole experience, while frustrating and sad, has taught me so much about how the unchurched person must feel visiting church. After a while, you start to feel like "why bother?" No wonder so many people stop attending church- they find better fellowship ultimately with their own friends, family and even co-workers than they do there. I started reading The Church Experiment after Angela mentioned it to me and I can totally relate to pretty much everything in it! If you have not yet checked it out, I highly recommend getting yourself over there ASAP and diving on in. :)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving
Well, the thirty part is correct. The funny thing is, I don't feel 30. Age isn't anything but a number I guess.
I had a great time celebrating my birthday with family over the weekend. My mom invited us over for lunch, cake, and presents on Saturday. My sister and her husband were there, along with my stepsister and her kids. Then on Sunday, Gregg's family had us for lunch and whatnot. Monday, my actual birthday, turned out to be a nice day even though thunderstorms had been forecasted. Gregg bought me sunflowers (my favorite flower) and took me out to the Macaroni Grill. We brought Colton with us to dinner, and he was really good until about the last 20 minutes of our meal when he started getting cranky. I fed him shortly before we left the house and packed plenty of toys, juice, and snacks so he wouldn't have a meltdown in the middle of the restaurant. Our waiter mistook Colton for a girl, even though he was wearing a blue shirt, a blue bib, and had a blue pacifier in his mouth!
So turning another year and really another decade older aside, life is going pretty well. I am dealing with the daily challenges of caring for an almost-toddler. The temper tantrums have begun. Granted, they're still short lived and don't involve throwing himself dramatically on the floor at this point, but it's definitely a precursor of what is to come. And I'm not looking forward to it. Colton is testing his boundaries and enjoying the new freedom that comes with being able to crawl at lightning speed. He frequently goes for one of the dog's toys, her food/water dishes, the air conditioning vent in the living room, or the end table drawers in which he finds all sorts of interesting treasures. We finally locked up all the kitchen cabinets so that's some sort of relief.
Colton's down to only one bottle a day now, in the morning right after he wakes up. I've been mixing in a little bit of whole milk with his formula to get him used to the taste and will gradually add more until he's completely on regular milk. He seems to be doing well with it so far. We're still planning on throwing his birthday party August 16, but we are having a difficult time figuring out where to have it. Our condo is really too small to accommodate the 20 guests we're inviting, and we don't have our own backyard here. We basically share a piece of grass with three other neighbors. We've considered holding the party at our development's clubhouse, but aren't sure we want to pay what they charge to rent it out. And since we're now at the mercy of the condo association's rules, I had to call and ask them if we were allowed to do 50 different things just to have a simple child's b-day party!
Now we have less than three weeks to decide where we're having this, so yesterday I started calling up several parks in the area to ask if they reserve picnic shelters. I also went to some websites and was able to get more information that way. I searched in three different counties, and actually came across a state park nearby that has a reservable picnic shelter and doesn't charge an entrance fee. We're going to check out the spot this Saturday, and hopefully it's nice and we can book it and just be done with this whole thing already!! I didn't think it would be this much work finding a place to hold a 1 year old's birthday. Oy vey.
Much like what I did with my park search, I looked up a list of churches in our county and cut & pasted their names into Yahoo's search engine to see if they had a website. Then I compiled my own list on our computer with each place, their service times, address, and website. So come this Sunday, we can (I hate saying this) start checking churches off the list. It seems crazy to me that for the last year and a half, we've been without a place to worship. It also seems crazy that I've come to the point where I'm essentially tracking down churches to visit in an effort to find one where we'll want to belong. They should really do more advertising! They are in the business of rescuing souls, after all.
I had a great time celebrating my birthday with family over the weekend. My mom invited us over for lunch, cake, and presents on Saturday. My sister and her husband were there, along with my stepsister and her kids. Then on Sunday, Gregg's family had us for lunch and whatnot. Monday, my actual birthday, turned out to be a nice day even though thunderstorms had been forecasted. Gregg bought me sunflowers (my favorite flower) and took me out to the Macaroni Grill. We brought Colton with us to dinner, and he was really good until about the last 20 minutes of our meal when he started getting cranky. I fed him shortly before we left the house and packed plenty of toys, juice, and snacks so he wouldn't have a meltdown in the middle of the restaurant. Our waiter mistook Colton for a girl, even though he was wearing a blue shirt, a blue bib, and had a blue pacifier in his mouth!
So turning another year and really another decade older aside, life is going pretty well. I am dealing with the daily challenges of caring for an almost-toddler. The temper tantrums have begun. Granted, they're still short lived and don't involve throwing himself dramatically on the floor at this point, but it's definitely a precursor of what is to come. And I'm not looking forward to it. Colton is testing his boundaries and enjoying the new freedom that comes with being able to crawl at lightning speed. He frequently goes for one of the dog's toys, her food/water dishes, the air conditioning vent in the living room, or the end table drawers in which he finds all sorts of interesting treasures. We finally locked up all the kitchen cabinets so that's some sort of relief.
Colton's down to only one bottle a day now, in the morning right after he wakes up. I've been mixing in a little bit of whole milk with his formula to get him used to the taste and will gradually add more until he's completely on regular milk. He seems to be doing well with it so far. We're still planning on throwing his birthday party August 16, but we are having a difficult time figuring out where to have it. Our condo is really too small to accommodate the 20 guests we're inviting, and we don't have our own backyard here. We basically share a piece of grass with three other neighbors. We've considered holding the party at our development's clubhouse, but aren't sure we want to pay what they charge to rent it out. And since we're now at the mercy of the condo association's rules, I had to call and ask them if we were allowed to do 50 different things just to have a simple child's b-day party!
Now we have less than three weeks to decide where we're having this, so yesterday I started calling up several parks in the area to ask if they reserve picnic shelters. I also went to some websites and was able to get more information that way. I searched in three different counties, and actually came across a state park nearby that has a reservable picnic shelter and doesn't charge an entrance fee. We're going to check out the spot this Saturday, and hopefully it's nice and we can book it and just be done with this whole thing already!! I didn't think it would be this much work finding a place to hold a 1 year old's birthday. Oy vey.
Much like what I did with my park search, I looked up a list of churches in our county and cut & pasted their names into Yahoo's search engine to see if they had a website. Then I compiled my own list on our computer with each place, their service times, address, and website. So come this Sunday, we can (I hate saying this) start checking churches off the list. It seems crazy to me that for the last year and a half, we've been without a place to worship. It also seems crazy that I've come to the point where I'm essentially tracking down churches to visit in an effort to find one where we'll want to belong. They should really do more advertising! They are in the business of rescuing souls, after all.
Friday, July 17, 2009
TGIF
Friday at last! With Colton having learned how to crawl just less than a week ago, I've been busier than usual chasing after him and snatching him up right before he can dig his little hands into the dog's food dish. We ordered safety latches for the kitchen and bathroom cabinets so I can stop constantly putting back the stuff that Colton's taken out of them and worrying that he's either going to break something or swallow something he shouldn't.
I am happy in a way that he's learned how to crawl finally. He was so frustrated that he couldn't just go across the room to get whatever he wanted and would rock back & forth on his knees all the time to no avail, then flop down exasperated on his tummy. It means a lot to me as a mom to have him achieve this milestone because it definitely gives him so much more independence, but boy does it make my life harder!
Since his bedroom is now literally right across the hall from the bathroom, I was leaving Colton down on his floor with a myriad of toys to keep him occupied while leaving the bathroom door open as I, you know, went to the bathroom. Well today, Colton comes wandering into the bathroom to find me and I'm not done yet. He started taking out the magazines we have in a basket by the shower and throwing them on the floor. It was pretty funny, but also annoying to have to clean up yet another mess.
I'm very glad it's the weekend. Our friends Dave and Teresa from Pennsylvania are coming to visit us and they're always so much fun to hang out with. They're driving up on Sunday morning and spending the day with us. Then on Monday Gregg took the day off from work so we could all go into NYC while my mother-in-law watches Colton for us. I'm really looking forward to our day trip. I haven't gone into the city since my mom took me to see a show for my birthday four years ago. It should be a lot of fun.
In other news, we visited a new church this past Sunday just ten minutes from our condo. We originally weren't going to put Colton in nursery, but as we were driving into the parking lot Gregg asked me if we should try it. I said yes since I figured he would be pretty distracting during the service. We ended up being very impressed with their nursery- Coltie got one-on-one attention the whole time and was immediately given a name tag. The lady in charge made us feel very comfortable from the start and had me fill out a registration form, then showed us the room where Colton would be. Oh, and the pager actually worked!
I felt engaged during the worship and sermon and liked the contemporary feel, but we were both disappointed that nobody greeted us as we were entering the building or afterwards in the "reception area". We were kinda expecting a lot since the friendly atmosphere was highly touted on their website, which was very well done. The church wasn't unfriendly; it just wasn't exactly... welcoming. We're not ready to write it off yet, however. We'd like to go back this Sunday and give it another try. I'm sold on the nursery though, which is extremely important.
Well Gregg should be leaving from work soon, and Colton just finished his snack and is getting a little restless so I need to wrap up this post! Have a great weekend everyone.
I am happy in a way that he's learned how to crawl finally. He was so frustrated that he couldn't just go across the room to get whatever he wanted and would rock back & forth on his knees all the time to no avail, then flop down exasperated on his tummy. It means a lot to me as a mom to have him achieve this milestone because it definitely gives him so much more independence, but boy does it make my life harder!
Since his bedroom is now literally right across the hall from the bathroom, I was leaving Colton down on his floor with a myriad of toys to keep him occupied while leaving the bathroom door open as I, you know, went to the bathroom. Well today, Colton comes wandering into the bathroom to find me and I'm not done yet. He started taking out the magazines we have in a basket by the shower and throwing them on the floor. It was pretty funny, but also annoying to have to clean up yet another mess.
I'm very glad it's the weekend. Our friends Dave and Teresa from Pennsylvania are coming to visit us and they're always so much fun to hang out with. They're driving up on Sunday morning and spending the day with us. Then on Monday Gregg took the day off from work so we could all go into NYC while my mother-in-law watches Colton for us. I'm really looking forward to our day trip. I haven't gone into the city since my mom took me to see a show for my birthday four years ago. It should be a lot of fun.
In other news, we visited a new church this past Sunday just ten minutes from our condo. We originally weren't going to put Colton in nursery, but as we were driving into the parking lot Gregg asked me if we should try it. I said yes since I figured he would be pretty distracting during the service. We ended up being very impressed with their nursery- Coltie got one-on-one attention the whole time and was immediately given a name tag. The lady in charge made us feel very comfortable from the start and had me fill out a registration form, then showed us the room where Colton would be. Oh, and the pager actually worked!
I felt engaged during the worship and sermon and liked the contemporary feel, but we were both disappointed that nobody greeted us as we were entering the building or afterwards in the "reception area". We were kinda expecting a lot since the friendly atmosphere was highly touted on their website, which was very well done. The church wasn't unfriendly; it just wasn't exactly... welcoming. We're not ready to write it off yet, however. We'd like to go back this Sunday and give it another try. I'm sold on the nursery though, which is extremely important.
Well Gregg should be leaving from work soon, and Colton just finished his snack and is getting a little restless so I need to wrap up this post! Have a great weekend everyone.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Celebrate Me Home
This past year has sure brought its fair share of joys and woes. Joy at the birth of our son; woe at losing yet another church and another job, and feeling utterly confused at the direction God wanted us to take. With all the options before us, we finally decided to just move back to New Jersey. It seemed ridiculous, and also so sensical at the same time. Yes, Jersey is still about ten times more expensive than practically anywhere else in the country. And yes, it is the place we were so desperate to leave three years ago. I don't think we really knew what we were leaving behind though. It is also the place where we actually have roots. It's where we grew up, met, fell in love, and got married. Our parents are there. We had the opportunity to be a part of some incredible ministries, too. We figured it was the best thing for us and Colton to be close to family again and attend a church where we're plugged in. The job opportunities are also much, much better and pay more.
So I turned in my two week notice at work, we started packing boxes, rented a moving truck, and Gregg began sending out resumes to companies all over Northern NJ and NYC. He contacted a buddy of his to find out if he knew anywhere to rent that wouldn't break the bank. It ended up that friends of ours who got married the same year as us just happened to have an empty house they said we could live in until we found something more permanent. On Thanksgiving, Gregg's parents drove down to PA after having dinner at his aunt's to help us move.
Bright and early the next morning, we were loading the truck, packing the rest of our stuff, and cleaning. We had to tow the minivan on a dolly behind the truck, unfortunately, because on his way home from putting gas in it the night before, Gregg lost the brakes. It was a really good thing it happened then, instead of sometime on the way to NJ when I would have been driving it with Colton in the back seat. We got the van fixed that Saturday, which set us back about $300. Ugh. When we arrived nearly four hours later, our friend Jim who owns the house we're staying at came to help us move in. We discovered that he and his wife Laura had also bought us groceries and left some money on the counter for whatever else we might need! Gregg and I were just overwhelmed at their generosity.
On Sunday we went back to the church we had attended before moving to Florida, and it was like we never left. I didn't think people would recognize us after all this time, especially now that we have a baby in tow. But walking down the hallway to the sanctuary, we were instantly flagged down by some people who were having coffee in the fellowship hall. Throughout the morning, a lot more people greeted us and said how glad they were that we were there. An announcement was even made from the pulpit that we were back in town. During worship, I looked over at my husband who had tears in his eyes. He is not an emotional guy, but he was so moved by the fact that everybody remembered us and welcomed us so warmly.
It was truly like coming home. We had been such an integral part of that church- Gregg served on the Tech Team, I taught elementary school-aged girls Bible lessons on Wednesday nights, we were involved in a small group, attended adult Sunday School. It was clear to both of us this past Sunday that we had been missed and touched many people's lives. I had really missed our worship experience at GPBC. The people were always so genuine and spirit-filled, always looking for a way to help others and pray with them. They also really value family and children. There are so many wonderful programs for kids. I know Colton will have a solid Biblical foundation growing up in this church.
Recently I had been aching to be a part of this kind of fellowship again, with our church search in Chambersburg coming up dry every time. I kept feeling like more and more of an outsider every one we went to. And here we show up at our old church, and within the first five minutes are blown away by the most incredible reception. I joked that next week it's going to be in the bulletin that we're back.
After service, we went by Gregg's parents for Sunday dinner which is always a treat. His mom cooks enough for an army and the food is excellent. I had really missed that, too. I like that Colton will grow up surrounded by family, knowing his grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin. Gregg's brother's daughter, Katelyn, was so excited to see "Coltie". My SIL Liz and I hope they grow up being close since they're only 15 months apart.
The one thing missing here is that Gregg hasn't found a job yet. He's had a couple of good leads and one interview already. We figured he can always work at one of the large computer or electronic retailers in the area in the meantime. We have some money in the bank that will last us a little while. The plan is for me to stay at home with Colton, if we can afford to. If I need to go back to work part-time or something, at least Gregg's mom can watch the baby so we don't have to put him in daycare.
It's really good to be back here. I love being a SAHM. I like the fact that I can just call up a girlfriend and get together for a play date. I did have my doubts, because of the high cost of living, and because of the risk we're taking by not having a stable income source right now. We've struggled financially before though, and have always made it through. God has always taken care of us. We could have moved elsewhere for a guaranteed job, but we'd have had to get used to a whole new area, find a new church, and make new friends all over again. I dreaded the idea of starting over, but I was willing to do it if it meant I could stay at home. I would have been so isolated though. Here, I know the lay of the land and there's no awkward learning curve. I already have friends and plenty of activities at the church to get involved in. There's an amazing women's Bible study on Wednesday mornings, with nursery provided, that I would love to join again.
We have already seen such an outpouring of blessings since our move only one week ago. Now we just need Gregg to land a job!! And for Colton to feel like himself again. My poor baby has been sick with a cold since Tuesday night. It's awful watching him suffer. He's waking up two to three times during the night screaming because he can't breathe. We moved the swing into his room so that he can sleep somewhat upright. He doesn't have much of an appetite, and just wants to sleep and be held. I feel so bad for him. I have to keep using the nasal aspirator (or "snot sucker", as my husband calls it) to clean out his tender little nose, and he hates it. He screams like someone is trying to kill him. Colton also has a case of "goopy eye", which seems to be getting better now thankfully.
I've decided to stay home from church tomorrow and take care of him. It wouldn't be fair to bring a sick baby to the nursery, and I don't want to drag him out into the cold when he already feels so yucky. I'm so glad I'm not working right now, because I feel like a zombie. Since Colton started sleeping through the night at two months, I've been spoiled with a full night's rest. Not so much this week. I should really be catching up on sleep right now while my baby sleeps, but instead I'm blogging. Go figure. :)
So I turned in my two week notice at work, we started packing boxes, rented a moving truck, and Gregg began sending out resumes to companies all over Northern NJ and NYC. He contacted a buddy of his to find out if he knew anywhere to rent that wouldn't break the bank. It ended up that friends of ours who got married the same year as us just happened to have an empty house they said we could live in until we found something more permanent. On Thanksgiving, Gregg's parents drove down to PA after having dinner at his aunt's to help us move.
Bright and early the next morning, we were loading the truck, packing the rest of our stuff, and cleaning. We had to tow the minivan on a dolly behind the truck, unfortunately, because on his way home from putting gas in it the night before, Gregg lost the brakes. It was a really good thing it happened then, instead of sometime on the way to NJ when I would have been driving it with Colton in the back seat. We got the van fixed that Saturday, which set us back about $300. Ugh. When we arrived nearly four hours later, our friend Jim who owns the house we're staying at came to help us move in. We discovered that he and his wife Laura had also bought us groceries and left some money on the counter for whatever else we might need! Gregg and I were just overwhelmed at their generosity.
On Sunday we went back to the church we had attended before moving to Florida, and it was like we never left. I didn't think people would recognize us after all this time, especially now that we have a baby in tow. But walking down the hallway to the sanctuary, we were instantly flagged down by some people who were having coffee in the fellowship hall. Throughout the morning, a lot more people greeted us and said how glad they were that we were there. An announcement was even made from the pulpit that we were back in town. During worship, I looked over at my husband who had tears in his eyes. He is not an emotional guy, but he was so moved by the fact that everybody remembered us and welcomed us so warmly.
It was truly like coming home. We had been such an integral part of that church- Gregg served on the Tech Team, I taught elementary school-aged girls Bible lessons on Wednesday nights, we were involved in a small group, attended adult Sunday School. It was clear to both of us this past Sunday that we had been missed and touched many people's lives. I had really missed our worship experience at GPBC. The people were always so genuine and spirit-filled, always looking for a way to help others and pray with them. They also really value family and children. There are so many wonderful programs for kids. I know Colton will have a solid Biblical foundation growing up in this church.
Recently I had been aching to be a part of this kind of fellowship again, with our church search in Chambersburg coming up dry every time. I kept feeling like more and more of an outsider every one we went to. And here we show up at our old church, and within the first five minutes are blown away by the most incredible reception. I joked that next week it's going to be in the bulletin that we're back.
After service, we went by Gregg's parents for Sunday dinner which is always a treat. His mom cooks enough for an army and the food is excellent. I had really missed that, too. I like that Colton will grow up surrounded by family, knowing his grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin. Gregg's brother's daughter, Katelyn, was so excited to see "Coltie". My SIL Liz and I hope they grow up being close since they're only 15 months apart.
The one thing missing here is that Gregg hasn't found a job yet. He's had a couple of good leads and one interview already. We figured he can always work at one of the large computer or electronic retailers in the area in the meantime. We have some money in the bank that will last us a little while. The plan is for me to stay at home with Colton, if we can afford to. If I need to go back to work part-time or something, at least Gregg's mom can watch the baby so we don't have to put him in daycare.
It's really good to be back here. I love being a SAHM. I like the fact that I can just call up a girlfriend and get together for a play date. I did have my doubts, because of the high cost of living, and because of the risk we're taking by not having a stable income source right now. We've struggled financially before though, and have always made it through. God has always taken care of us. We could have moved elsewhere for a guaranteed job, but we'd have had to get used to a whole new area, find a new church, and make new friends all over again. I dreaded the idea of starting over, but I was willing to do it if it meant I could stay at home. I would have been so isolated though. Here, I know the lay of the land and there's no awkward learning curve. I already have friends and plenty of activities at the church to get involved in. There's an amazing women's Bible study on Wednesday mornings, with nursery provided, that I would love to join again.
We have already seen such an outpouring of blessings since our move only one week ago. Now we just need Gregg to land a job!! And for Colton to feel like himself again. My poor baby has been sick with a cold since Tuesday night. It's awful watching him suffer. He's waking up two to three times during the night screaming because he can't breathe. We moved the swing into his room so that he can sleep somewhat upright. He doesn't have much of an appetite, and just wants to sleep and be held. I feel so bad for him. I have to keep using the nasal aspirator (or "snot sucker", as my husband calls it) to clean out his tender little nose, and he hates it. He screams like someone is trying to kill him. Colton also has a case of "goopy eye", which seems to be getting better now thankfully.
I've decided to stay home from church tomorrow and take care of him. It wouldn't be fair to bring a sick baby to the nursery, and I don't want to drag him out into the cold when he already feels so yucky. I'm so glad I'm not working right now, because I feel like a zombie. Since Colton started sleeping through the night at two months, I've been spoiled with a full night's rest. Not so much this week. I should really be catching up on sleep right now while my baby sleeps, but instead I'm blogging. Go figure. :)
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Random Thoughts
All quiet in the Boonstra household... for now. I thought I'd take this opportunity while Colton is napping in his swing to post something. It's amazing how much he consumes my life. Not in a bad way, of course. Just that a lot of my time is devoted to making sure he has what he needs and is happy.
Being a mom sure changes everything. That worried feeling I used to tease my own mother about, I now have. I have pretty much second guessed every decision I've made since he was born, and when he's settled down after fussing or crying and I go do something else, I feel guilty that I'm not spending that time with him. This anxiety has driven me to read all I can get my hands on about how to raise children. It's definitely helped me not to feel so overwhelmed and unprepared.
The washer, dryer, and dishwasher seem to be going nonstop with all the laundry and bottles Colton goes through in a day. I'm going through more clothes myself. I don't think there's a day that I haven't been spit up on! I've managed to avoid getting peed on when I'm changing a diaper by placing a washcloth over the "sprinkler". Still, there are times when I'm holding him that all of a sudden I'll start to feel a warm sensation and then need to go change my pants. Those diapers don't hold as much as you think.
I think I'm going to start reliving my own childhood over again now that I have a kid. I started recalling many of the songs I listened to as a child, and began singing them to Colton. My sister and I would listen ad nauseum in our playroom to our Sesame Street records. Decades later, I can still remember a lot of those simple but fun lyrics. I was thinking about going online and seeing if I can get some of the records on cd now.
So this is my last week of maternity leave. I go back to work on Monday. Boo hiss. My supervisor has been really great though about making sure my transition back is as non-stressful as possible. We talked about reducing my caseload to about 4 or 5 "low maintenance" kids and taking on some adoption work to make up the rest of my pay. This would allow me to spend more time at home with Colton. It seems like my agency is really doing whatever they can to keep me, and they understand how difficult it is to return now that I have a small baby.
In other news, Gregg and I ventured out this past Sunday to try yet another church. It was okay. Not great, not bad. The congregation was pretty small but very welcoming. I can't say I instantly felt like this was the church for us, but we'll probably go back. We received a card in the mail yesterday from the pastor thanking us for attending, which was nice.
I'd better go, I hear a baby crying...
Being a mom sure changes everything. That worried feeling I used to tease my own mother about, I now have. I have pretty much second guessed every decision I've made since he was born, and when he's settled down after fussing or crying and I go do something else, I feel guilty that I'm not spending that time with him. This anxiety has driven me to read all I can get my hands on about how to raise children. It's definitely helped me not to feel so overwhelmed and unprepared.
The washer, dryer, and dishwasher seem to be going nonstop with all the laundry and bottles Colton goes through in a day. I'm going through more clothes myself. I don't think there's a day that I haven't been spit up on! I've managed to avoid getting peed on when I'm changing a diaper by placing a washcloth over the "sprinkler". Still, there are times when I'm holding him that all of a sudden I'll start to feel a warm sensation and then need to go change my pants. Those diapers don't hold as much as you think.
I think I'm going to start reliving my own childhood over again now that I have a kid. I started recalling many of the songs I listened to as a child, and began singing them to Colton. My sister and I would listen ad nauseum in our playroom to our Sesame Street records. Decades later, I can still remember a lot of those simple but fun lyrics. I was thinking about going online and seeing if I can get some of the records on cd now.
So this is my last week of maternity leave. I go back to work on Monday. Boo hiss. My supervisor has been really great though about making sure my transition back is as non-stressful as possible. We talked about reducing my caseload to about 4 or 5 "low maintenance" kids and taking on some adoption work to make up the rest of my pay. This would allow me to spend more time at home with Colton. It seems like my agency is really doing whatever they can to keep me, and they understand how difficult it is to return now that I have a small baby.
In other news, Gregg and I ventured out this past Sunday to try yet another church. It was okay. Not great, not bad. The congregation was pretty small but very welcoming. I can't say I instantly felt like this was the church for us, but we'll probably go back. We received a card in the mail yesterday from the pastor thanking us for attending, which was nice.
I'd better go, I hear a baby crying...
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Ramblings
I thought I'd give an update on how our church hunt is coming, amongst other things. We kind of put it on hold with being away a couple of weekends in July and then preparing for the baby's arrival. We haven't been to church in a couple of months, and I feel really bad about it.
We went from being at church practically all the time since Gregg worked for King Street Church, to not going at all. After Gregg left his position there, we both looked forward to attending church services and other special church activities together. I had felt disconnected from him on Sunday mornings, since he couldn’t be a part of the worship experience right along with me, because he always had to work. Our church hunt has been very frustrating for us, though, leaving our desire for spiritual closeness unfulfilled. I still really want to be connected to a church body somewhere, especially now that we have a child.
Another reason we’ve put our church search on hold is that for a few months we have seriously been considering moving to Charlotte, NC. That’s right; I said moving. As if we haven’t done enough of that in the last few years.
As I’ve mentioned before, we’re not crazy about the area we live in and only moved here for Gregg’s position with KSC. There’s not much to do except “watch the corn grow”, and not a whole lot of potential for Gregg career wise. The school system isn’t the best either, and while it will be five years until Colton is ready to go to school, it’s something we need to consider. Can our family thrive here long term?
I’ve thought many times about the prospect of moving again. I told Gregg I would do it if it meant he could get a job that would allow me to stay home with our son. He’s had a few interviews down there, but nothing has panned out yet. I’m all for it if I sense that that is the direction God is leading us in, and if it will ultimately end up being the best for our family. But it would mean starting all over.
Gregg’s sister and my stepsister both live in suburbs right outside of Charlotte, so it’s not like we wouldn’t know anyone. I’m not really close with either of them, though, and they have their own friends and families. It took me so long to actually get used to living here and settling in. I probably questioned every day for months whether we should have left Florida to move here, and now I’m actually comfortable in this environment. I know my way around, I have good friends, we have a great family doctor, and a nice, spacious place to live. It would be wonderful to be a SAHM though. I understand that with any move towards a better life, there’s going to be sacrifice. I’m just tired of having to lose things along the way in order to achieve this.
I go back to work in two weeks, which I’m not looking forward to. I’ve really enjoyed my time off with my baby. My short-term disability period will be up on the 25th, but since this is a Thursday, I’ll start again the following Monday instead. I tried to get more time, but my doctor’s office said that unless there were complications with my C-section, all they sign off on is 6 weeks. I still have some paid time off built up, but I have to come back to work before I can use it. I only used three days since my last day of work was August 8, and Colton was born on the 14th which is when disability started. I’ll probably just save the PTO to use around the holidays, since we usually visit our families up in Jersey at Christmas.
The life insurance company paid out my disability all in one lump sum, which was very nice. They sent a check shortly after the first of the September, and I received more than I was anticipating. My health insurance paid all of my hospital expenses, too. They sent a statement the other day with all of the expenses that were incurred, and the grand total for my 56 hour stay: $13,000. I thought it was going to be more like $20,000. I suppose if the hospital were in a more metropolitan area, the amount would have been closer to this figure. $13K is still a buttload of money. It seemed like I was charged for anything and everything. There was a labor room charge, which I find odd since I never even went into labor! Both the hospital and my doctor each had their own separate charges for the circumcision, too. Crazy.
Sorry this post was so disjointed. I’m finding it difficult to form coherent thoughts lately, let alone coherent posts!
We went from being at church practically all the time since Gregg worked for King Street Church, to not going at all. After Gregg left his position there, we both looked forward to attending church services and other special church activities together. I had felt disconnected from him on Sunday mornings, since he couldn’t be a part of the worship experience right along with me, because he always had to work. Our church hunt has been very frustrating for us, though, leaving our desire for spiritual closeness unfulfilled. I still really want to be connected to a church body somewhere, especially now that we have a child.
Another reason we’ve put our church search on hold is that for a few months we have seriously been considering moving to Charlotte, NC. That’s right; I said moving. As if we haven’t done enough of that in the last few years.
As I’ve mentioned before, we’re not crazy about the area we live in and only moved here for Gregg’s position with KSC. There’s not much to do except “watch the corn grow”, and not a whole lot of potential for Gregg career wise. The school system isn’t the best either, and while it will be five years until Colton is ready to go to school, it’s something we need to consider. Can our family thrive here long term?
I’ve thought many times about the prospect of moving again. I told Gregg I would do it if it meant he could get a job that would allow me to stay home with our son. He’s had a few interviews down there, but nothing has panned out yet. I’m all for it if I sense that that is the direction God is leading us in, and if it will ultimately end up being the best for our family. But it would mean starting all over.
Gregg’s sister and my stepsister both live in suburbs right outside of Charlotte, so it’s not like we wouldn’t know anyone. I’m not really close with either of them, though, and they have their own friends and families. It took me so long to actually get used to living here and settling in. I probably questioned every day for months whether we should have left Florida to move here, and now I’m actually comfortable in this environment. I know my way around, I have good friends, we have a great family doctor, and a nice, spacious place to live. It would be wonderful to be a SAHM though. I understand that with any move towards a better life, there’s going to be sacrifice. I’m just tired of having to lose things along the way in order to achieve this.
I go back to work in two weeks, which I’m not looking forward to. I’ve really enjoyed my time off with my baby. My short-term disability period will be up on the 25th, but since this is a Thursday, I’ll start again the following Monday instead. I tried to get more time, but my doctor’s office said that unless there were complications with my C-section, all they sign off on is 6 weeks. I still have some paid time off built up, but I have to come back to work before I can use it. I only used three days since my last day of work was August 8, and Colton was born on the 14th which is when disability started. I’ll probably just save the PTO to use around the holidays, since we usually visit our families up in Jersey at Christmas.
The life insurance company paid out my disability all in one lump sum, which was very nice. They sent a check shortly after the first of the September, and I received more than I was anticipating. My health insurance paid all of my hospital expenses, too. They sent a statement the other day with all of the expenses that were incurred, and the grand total for my 56 hour stay: $13,000. I thought it was going to be more like $20,000. I suppose if the hospital were in a more metropolitan area, the amount would have been closer to this figure. $13K is still a buttload of money. It seemed like I was charged for anything and everything. There was a labor room charge, which I find odd since I never even went into labor! Both the hospital and my doctor each had their own separate charges for the circumcision, too. Crazy.
Sorry this post was so disjointed. I’m finding it difficult to form coherent thoughts lately, let alone coherent posts!
Sunday, July 06, 2008
33w3d
In the 8th year, in the 8th month, on the 8th day...
it begins.
No, not the Olympics, silly. The start of my maternity leave!!! Well, my last day of work before going on maternity leave. I can't wait. Working this far into my pregnancy has been harder than I imagined. My job requires remembering and keeping track of a lot of things, which I am usually good at. I've always been a very organized person, but baby brain has rendered me pretty incompetent. Or, at least I feel incompetent. I'm forgetting things constantly and falling behind with paperwork. There's a ridiculous amount of paperwork in the social services field anyway, and it's especially difficult to stay on top of now.
Thank you ladies for praying about the aforementioned church situation. Gregg and I tried another one out this morning. We were not impressed. It seems that from the moment we pull up to the building, I'm tallying off a checklist in my head-
Reserved parking spaces for visitors: good.
Reserved parking space for the pastor: bad.
Powerpoint slides for worship songs: good.
No powerpoint for sermon: bad.
To sum up our worship experience this morning: awkward. First of all, upon entering we were given these bright yellow badges to wear that said "guest" on them, making it real obvious that we were visiting. Everyone else was wearing peach colored badges with their names, clearly separating them from us. Before we could even make it into the sanctuary, we were asked to sign the guestbook. Then we were asked three more times by the people sitting around us if we had signed it yet, and someone insisted we also fill out one of the guest cards in the pew. Most everybody was very friendly though, introducing themselves to us and whatnot. Music was enjoyable. The pastor gave a good sermon. I started feeling a bit more comfortable.
After the service, it took us about ten minutes for whatever reason to actually make our way out of the sanctuary. As we were filing out with everyone else, people kept telling us about the refreshments that were being served in the gym. I started to wonder if these were the world's best cookies and donuts the way they were being raved about.
When I stopped in the bathroom leaving Gregg to wait for me out in the hallway, he must have been told yet another 20 times to go join the fellowship already in progress. He had to politely, but firmly, tell them he was waiting for his wife. When I came out, somebody said to us "I hear you're the new couple". The new couple? I almost cringed. Um, no. We haven't joined your church. We're only visiting, thank you.
I don't think we could have gotten out of there fast enough. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when we got into the car. I hate to critique a church, but when I attend somewhere for the first time I really don't want a big flashing neon sign above my head that says "Guest". It's uncomfortable.
I'm so discouraged. Instead of finding what I'm looking for, I end up feeling like more of an outsider. Those people meant well, they really did. But. I have to wonder who they're really reaching out to, labeling their first time visitors and constantly barraging them with invitations to have cookies? As Christians, we have got to do a better job at reaching the lost for Jesus.
In other news, in less than two weeks we'll be heading down to our nation's capital for my sister's wedding. I have my final dress (a.k.a. tent) fitting next weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing my little sis finally tie the knot with her long time beau, but not to the frenzy of activity that will take place. I'm already anticipating having to sit some activities out, being 35+ weeks pregnant and in the middle of a hot D.C. summer.
On the preggo front, I've been feeling pretty ginormous lately. There's seriously a watermelon where my tummy used to be! It's hard like a basketball, too. At certain times of the day, there's a part of my belly that feels harder than others. Like one side of the baby is scrunched up against my uterine wall. At first it freaked me out, but now I think it's pretty neat. :)
I haven't been able to see my feet for weeks, so it's actually a good thing it's summertime because I can wear nothing but sandals. I'm not sleeping all that well most nights, either. There's so much on my mind and it's becoming increasingly difficult to find a comfortable position in bed.
It's good to know I am not alone in this journey. It seems like every time I log on to post lately, another blogger announces her pregnancy! There will be quite the flurry of new births over the next six months. Last night I had fun filling in the first few pages of Baby Boy's memory book; a bit about mine and Gregg's backgrounds, how we first found out we were expecting, baby's family tree. As I was writing, it hit me again that from now on I will be referred to as "mommy". I still retain my first name of course, but as far as my little boy will be concerned I am just mommy.
We've finally compiled a pretty good list of names for him, names we'd both be happy with. They were hard to come up with, since there aren't many boy names we're crazy about. We have a whole slew of girls' names, but I don't think our son would appreciate it if we named him Emma or Hayley.
Here's my 33rd week pic:
Friday, March 30, 2007
News
Okay, I know I've been MIA for quite some time. So be forewarned that this will be the mother of all posts. Now that our families know, I can put this out there in the blogisphere. For those who were wondering, I am not pregnant. Sorry, Brittny. :)
We are moving again! After a lot of discussion and prayer, Gregg decided to resign his position as Minister of Technology at Covenant. He announced that he was resigning on March 15, and almost two weeks later accepted a job at a church in southern Pennsylvania as their Technical Director. They have offered him a nice salary increase from what he was making at CPC, plus medical benefits, a pension and $ for continuing education. We are planning the move for the last week of April, so that Gregg can start on May 1st.
I know, I know, I need to back up and explain how all of this happened.
For those who have been reading this blog over the last several months, you know that we've been experiencing quite a bit of unrest in our church. In the months leading up to and following Pastor Dan's resignation, things began unfolding that made it evident we should think about leaving Covenant Presbyterian Church. Not even one year after moving here, we began coming to grips with the crazy reality that this was not the right place for us spiritually and for Gregg professionally.
As we mulled it over and prayed, it only became more obvious that we needed to move on. We started seeing that people were falling by the wayside and not being ministered to. The program and doctrine/rules of the church had become more important than the people. And the clear message we received from leadership about the problems we saw was that things were "good enough". They also made it clear that whoever would succeed Pastor Dan as Covenant's next senior pastor would just come along and get on board with the "vision" that was already in place- not bring change, not do anything different than the church had done in the last 25 years. Just maintain.
Maintaining was not going to do it for us.
So in February Gregg began sending out his resume to a few churches that he saw advertised on churchstaffing.com. King Street Church in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania (of all places) really stood out to both of us, and they wrote back right away and began corresponding with Gregg. Within a month, we were up there to visit and they had an offer by the end of our trip. The area that we'll be moving to is literally a world away from Florida. The community that we presently live in is less than thirty years old, while Chambersburg dates back to the Civil War. King Street Church has been serving the borough of Chambersburg and its 17,000 residents for the past 129 years. But yet it's growing much faster than Covenant which is located in a very modern, rapidly expanding city with a population of 105,000.
So I am excited and bewildered. And freaking out about all the stuff I need to do! Like packing and renting out our house and finding a place to live up there and packing... Do any of you know somebody wanting to rent a cute, newly renovated three bedroom house in Central Florida? :)
Following are a few entries about some of my thoughts on the recent chain of events, which I wrote a couple of weeks ago. Hopefully they'll fill in some of the gaps.
Thursday, March 15-
So many changes in such a short amount of time. I've heard it said before, and I believe, that when God moves He moves quickly. We leave a week from today to visit King Street Church in PA. We're both really looking forward to it. It's funny; most people take their vacations down here where we live, but we're taking ours in a colder climate.
We'll spend five days in Chambersburg, getting to know the church and staff and our way around the area. They're putting us up in a fairly new hotel, which we are thrilled about because that means we get to have privacy. It was just so weird staying at the senior pastor's house when we visited Covenant last year, sleeping in a full size bed that creaked every time you moved. Yeah.
So besides the trip itself, we are looking forward to flying! Gregg and I are such little kids about going on an airplane. We love to fly. It's wildly exciting for some reason I can't fully explain.
We are going to go shopping for some new clothes over the weekend, and check out the place we're planning on having Tess stay for the time we'll be away. We've heard rave reviews about this Doggie Daycare. I hope it really is all its cracked up to be, because we're leaving her there for five whole days. I hope she doesn't come back traumatized. She's initially very afraid of people and other dogs. So I'm nervous. I feel like a parent who's sending her kid off to summer camp. Who knew I'd get so attached to our mangy mutt?
I've gone through a roller coaster of emotions since we first talked about leaving Covenant and pursuing another ministry opportunity. At first I was resolved about the whole thing. If it was God's will for us to move on, then I was fully on board. If He wanted us to stay in Florida, I was just fine with that too. But as it appeared that He was moving us in the direction of leaving, I began to freak out. What the crap are we going to do with our house in this kind of market? How will we leave behind all those volunteers that Gregg invested so much into?
And I had to examine our motives for leaving. Were we just jumping ship because things had gotten too complicated at church? Or was this truly something we felt the Lord calling us to do.
I felt somewhat torn. I was stoked about the prospect of moving close to our parents and siblings, and experiencing the change of seasons again. Still, I cried over the possibility of packing up the first house we owned together and made so many memories in. Over leaving a community and area we had grown to know and thought we would spend many, many years in. Saying good-bye to some great people we'd shared with and gotten to know over the past year.
I spent a lot of time in prayer and asking God for wisdom and discernment. Gregg & I had many discussions about the entire situation, looking at it from every different angle. We came to the conclusion that Covenant is not the right place for us, for several reasons. That doesn't negate the impact Gregg has had on his wonderful volunteers, or the growth we experienced in our marriage here. I thought for a while that if we decided to leave, we were in effect saying that this past year was a waste. It wasn't. God used us and allowed us to thrive in a new place.
But increasingly, Gregg felt that he wasn't the right person for Covenant in the role of Technical Director. His vision has far exceeded that of CPC's, and they remain content with maintaining things just as they stand right now. There was really only one path to choose at that point.
We are excited and overwhelmed at the possibilities that lay before us. The desire to make an impact for the Lord has grown stronger for both of us over the past few weeks, and King Street Church looks like it will be a great fit for Gregg's vision & talents. There is an opening for a Center Director at the crisis pregnancy center located in the same town, which Gregg encouraged me to apply for. That would be such an awesome job! I am truly amazed at the fact that God uses and equips us to serve Him in various ways. We come with nothing, but He supplies it all.
Friday, March 16-
Yesterday morning at the church's staff meeting, Gregg announced that he is resigning. No detailed explanation was given, but if people want to know more they were encouraged to come talk to him. An email went out from the church administrator to the elders and deacons, along with Covenant Christian School staff. Gregg then copied and sent it to all of his volunteers and members of our small group. People were sad, some were really shocked. Most of them understood why he made the decision.
It's hard to put into words what I'm feeling about the whole thing. I can't stand making anyone sad, and this effects so many people. I also don't want to be the next subject of controversy, or fodder for gossip among our congregation. When all that stuff went down with Rock (former youth pastor), all kinds of not-so-nice things were said about him by people who knew very little of what actually happened.
We will for sure elaborate further on the reasons at our small group meeting Tuesday night. I don't know if we'll get barragged with questions on Sunday. I'm not quite prepared for that. I know eventually I'll have to sit down with my boss, since he goes to our church, and try to explain. Knowing that that implies my leaving the position I currently have. I'm not planning on telling him anything until we get back from Pennsylvania, and I don't want him finding out before then. However, these things have a way of making it through the grapevine.
In the past, I have always felt like I need to explain everything whenever I make a decision. But the fact is, I don't. It's our life. People don't have the right to have everything laid out on the table. They will say things about you whether they have all the facts or not. Even if you tell them the whole truth, they will go looking for other stuff that isn't even there and not confront you with any of them. The bottom line is that we have a peace about the decision we've made, and no one else has to live with it but us.
Tuesday, March 20-
So things are pretty much set for our trip up north. I’ve been trying to clean a little every day so that when we come back, the house isn’t a total disaster. I would hate coming home to a messy house. I’ve also been staying on top of the laundry. I folded a few piles on Sunday and finished up the rest last night.
We booked Tess for five nights at the doggie daycare place, which is actually called Paradise Luxury Pet Estates. Try not to laugh or balk too much. When we went there on Saturday to check things out, we felt very comfortable with the staff and accommodations. We already knew we did not want her staying in a kennel being cooped up in a tiny cage for most of the day. And kennels are known famously for making dogs sick.
Doggie daycare seemed like the better choice by a mile- it was reasonably priced for all the amenities and nice enough that a human being would want to stay there for a week! They did want Tess to come for a day to see how she’d get along with the other dogs and staff, before we went away. So Gregg took her yesterday for her “trial period". When he went to pick her up, one of the owners said she was skittish at first but soon started playing with the other dogs. She eventually went over to some of the female staff when they called her, but would not come to any of the male workers. No surprise there- we knew she was afraid of men.
They put her in the "easy going room" to socialize and nap with a few other doggies that have a similar temperament. Gregg said that when he went to pick her up that afternoon, they announced him as "Miss Tess's dad". How cute is that? When he got her home, she was wiped out from all that activity and play time. She didn't move from the couch for several hours, and I had to keep checking on her to make sure she was still breathing!
Sunday we weren't asked a whole bunch of questions as I thought we might be. I got some sympathetic, concerned looks from people and "we'll miss you's". I talked briefly with two couples from our small group about what's going on. But that was it. That night as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, I thought back to the first few days after we moved here. Now, a little more than a year later, things are so different. What the heck happened??
I know God is closing this chapter in our lives. But, I am just stunned at how differently we see things regarding CPC from last March. There had been stuff going on all along behind the scenes which just bubbled up to the surface once Pastor Dan resigned. So much more than I care to write about here. Our fear is that if the church continues to go down the path it's on, it will only alienate and push away more people- the exact opposite of what Dan Hendley intended when he left.
I feel like I should say something, something more than just "Oh, it didn't work out". I don't want to look like I'm dragging the church through the mud, or leaving on bad terms though. I feel like the members of our small group could benefit from our insight, to understand what it is about the church at its present state that makes people like us uproot their lives and leave. Gregg wants to keep things all very vague and not step on any toes. I understand that, but then it looks like we have something to hide. It's not about getting the last word in or about proving some sort of point. And we don't want to dredge up every little stinkin' thing either. I just think we should expose the truth and then leave it up to people to decide for themselves.
So it is with heavy hearts that we seek to move on. Our flight leaves Thursday morning, and like I said, I think we're pretty well set for the trip. We checked the weather report so we know what to pack, the house is in order, the dog is taken care of. It should be fun and a little nerve-wracking too, as we determine if this is truly the place where God wants us.
I am more convinced than ever that life is not a series of mountain tops and valleys, but rather a railroad track where you simultaneously experience both good things and bad things. You just never know the places God will take you.
We are moving again! After a lot of discussion and prayer, Gregg decided to resign his position as Minister of Technology at Covenant. He announced that he was resigning on March 15, and almost two weeks later accepted a job at a church in southern Pennsylvania as their Technical Director. They have offered him a nice salary increase from what he was making at CPC, plus medical benefits, a pension and $ for continuing education. We are planning the move for the last week of April, so that Gregg can start on May 1st.
I know, I know, I need to back up and explain how all of this happened.
For those who have been reading this blog over the last several months, you know that we've been experiencing quite a bit of unrest in our church. In the months leading up to and following Pastor Dan's resignation, things began unfolding that made it evident we should think about leaving Covenant Presbyterian Church. Not even one year after moving here, we began coming to grips with the crazy reality that this was not the right place for us spiritually and for Gregg professionally.
As we mulled it over and prayed, it only became more obvious that we needed to move on. We started seeing that people were falling by the wayside and not being ministered to. The program and doctrine/rules of the church had become more important than the people. And the clear message we received from leadership about the problems we saw was that things were "good enough". They also made it clear that whoever would succeed Pastor Dan as Covenant's next senior pastor would just come along and get on board with the "vision" that was already in place- not bring change, not do anything different than the church had done in the last 25 years. Just maintain.
Maintaining was not going to do it for us.
So in February Gregg began sending out his resume to a few churches that he saw advertised on churchstaffing.com. King Street Church in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania (of all places) really stood out to both of us, and they wrote back right away and began corresponding with Gregg. Within a month, we were up there to visit and they had an offer by the end of our trip. The area that we'll be moving to is literally a world away from Florida. The community that we presently live in is less than thirty years old, while Chambersburg dates back to the Civil War. King Street Church has been serving the borough of Chambersburg and its 17,000 residents for the past 129 years. But yet it's growing much faster than Covenant which is located in a very modern, rapidly expanding city with a population of 105,000.
So I am excited and bewildered. And freaking out about all the stuff I need to do! Like packing and renting out our house and finding a place to live up there and packing... Do any of you know somebody wanting to rent a cute, newly renovated three bedroom house in Central Florida? :)
Following are a few entries about some of my thoughts on the recent chain of events, which I wrote a couple of weeks ago. Hopefully they'll fill in some of the gaps.
Thursday, March 15-
So many changes in such a short amount of time. I've heard it said before, and I believe, that when God moves He moves quickly. We leave a week from today to visit King Street Church in PA. We're both really looking forward to it. It's funny; most people take their vacations down here where we live, but we're taking ours in a colder climate.
We'll spend five days in Chambersburg, getting to know the church and staff and our way around the area. They're putting us up in a fairly new hotel, which we are thrilled about because that means we get to have privacy. It was just so weird staying at the senior pastor's house when we visited Covenant last year, sleeping in a full size bed that creaked every time you moved. Yeah.
So besides the trip itself, we are looking forward to flying! Gregg and I are such little kids about going on an airplane. We love to fly. It's wildly exciting for some reason I can't fully explain.
We are going to go shopping for some new clothes over the weekend, and check out the place we're planning on having Tess stay for the time we'll be away. We've heard rave reviews about this Doggie Daycare. I hope it really is all its cracked up to be, because we're leaving her there for five whole days. I hope she doesn't come back traumatized. She's initially very afraid of people and other dogs. So I'm nervous. I feel like a parent who's sending her kid off to summer camp. Who knew I'd get so attached to our mangy mutt?
I've gone through a roller coaster of emotions since we first talked about leaving Covenant and pursuing another ministry opportunity. At first I was resolved about the whole thing. If it was God's will for us to move on, then I was fully on board. If He wanted us to stay in Florida, I was just fine with that too. But as it appeared that He was moving us in the direction of leaving, I began to freak out. What the crap are we going to do with our house in this kind of market? How will we leave behind all those volunteers that Gregg invested so much into?
And I had to examine our motives for leaving. Were we just jumping ship because things had gotten too complicated at church? Or was this truly something we felt the Lord calling us to do.
I felt somewhat torn. I was stoked about the prospect of moving close to our parents and siblings, and experiencing the change of seasons again. Still, I cried over the possibility of packing up the first house we owned together and made so many memories in. Over leaving a community and area we had grown to know and thought we would spend many, many years in. Saying good-bye to some great people we'd shared with and gotten to know over the past year.
I spent a lot of time in prayer and asking God for wisdom and discernment. Gregg & I had many discussions about the entire situation, looking at it from every different angle. We came to the conclusion that Covenant is not the right place for us, for several reasons. That doesn't negate the impact Gregg has had on his wonderful volunteers, or the growth we experienced in our marriage here. I thought for a while that if we decided to leave, we were in effect saying that this past year was a waste. It wasn't. God used us and allowed us to thrive in a new place.
But increasingly, Gregg felt that he wasn't the right person for Covenant in the role of Technical Director. His vision has far exceeded that of CPC's, and they remain content with maintaining things just as they stand right now. There was really only one path to choose at that point.
We are excited and overwhelmed at the possibilities that lay before us. The desire to make an impact for the Lord has grown stronger for both of us over the past few weeks, and King Street Church looks like it will be a great fit for Gregg's vision & talents. There is an opening for a Center Director at the crisis pregnancy center located in the same town, which Gregg encouraged me to apply for. That would be such an awesome job! I am truly amazed at the fact that God uses and equips us to serve Him in various ways. We come with nothing, but He supplies it all.
Friday, March 16-
Yesterday morning at the church's staff meeting, Gregg announced that he is resigning. No detailed explanation was given, but if people want to know more they were encouraged to come talk to him. An email went out from the church administrator to the elders and deacons, along with Covenant Christian School staff. Gregg then copied and sent it to all of his volunteers and members of our small group. People were sad, some were really shocked. Most of them understood why he made the decision.
It's hard to put into words what I'm feeling about the whole thing. I can't stand making anyone sad, and this effects so many people. I also don't want to be the next subject of controversy, or fodder for gossip among our congregation. When all that stuff went down with Rock (former youth pastor), all kinds of not-so-nice things were said about him by people who knew very little of what actually happened.
We will for sure elaborate further on the reasons at our small group meeting Tuesday night. I don't know if we'll get barragged with questions on Sunday. I'm not quite prepared for that. I know eventually I'll have to sit down with my boss, since he goes to our church, and try to explain. Knowing that that implies my leaving the position I currently have. I'm not planning on telling him anything until we get back from Pennsylvania, and I don't want him finding out before then. However, these things have a way of making it through the grapevine.
In the past, I have always felt like I need to explain everything whenever I make a decision. But the fact is, I don't. It's our life. People don't have the right to have everything laid out on the table. They will say things about you whether they have all the facts or not. Even if you tell them the whole truth, they will go looking for other stuff that isn't even there and not confront you with any of them. The bottom line is that we have a peace about the decision we've made, and no one else has to live with it but us.
Tuesday, March 20-
So things are pretty much set for our trip up north. I’ve been trying to clean a little every day so that when we come back, the house isn’t a total disaster. I would hate coming home to a messy house. I’ve also been staying on top of the laundry. I folded a few piles on Sunday and finished up the rest last night.
We booked Tess for five nights at the doggie daycare place, which is actually called Paradise Luxury Pet Estates. Try not to laugh or balk too much. When we went there on Saturday to check things out, we felt very comfortable with the staff and accommodations. We already knew we did not want her staying in a kennel being cooped up in a tiny cage for most of the day. And kennels are known famously for making dogs sick.
Doggie daycare seemed like the better choice by a mile- it was reasonably priced for all the amenities and nice enough that a human being would want to stay there for a week! They did want Tess to come for a day to see how she’d get along with the other dogs and staff, before we went away. So Gregg took her yesterday for her “trial period". When he went to pick her up, one of the owners said she was skittish at first but soon started playing with the other dogs. She eventually went over to some of the female staff when they called her, but would not come to any of the male workers. No surprise there- we knew she was afraid of men.
They put her in the "easy going room" to socialize and nap with a few other doggies that have a similar temperament. Gregg said that when he went to pick her up that afternoon, they announced him as "Miss Tess's dad". How cute is that? When he got her home, she was wiped out from all that activity and play time. She didn't move from the couch for several hours, and I had to keep checking on her to make sure she was still breathing!
Sunday we weren't asked a whole bunch of questions as I thought we might be. I got some sympathetic, concerned looks from people and "we'll miss you's". I talked briefly with two couples from our small group about what's going on. But that was it. That night as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, I thought back to the first few days after we moved here. Now, a little more than a year later, things are so different. What the heck happened??
I know God is closing this chapter in our lives. But, I am just stunned at how differently we see things regarding CPC from last March. There had been stuff going on all along behind the scenes which just bubbled up to the surface once Pastor Dan resigned. So much more than I care to write about here. Our fear is that if the church continues to go down the path it's on, it will only alienate and push away more people- the exact opposite of what Dan Hendley intended when he left.
I feel like I should say something, something more than just "Oh, it didn't work out". I don't want to look like I'm dragging the church through the mud, or leaving on bad terms though. I feel like the members of our small group could benefit from our insight, to understand what it is about the church at its present state that makes people like us uproot their lives and leave. Gregg wants to keep things all very vague and not step on any toes. I understand that, but then it looks like we have something to hide. It's not about getting the last word in or about proving some sort of point. And we don't want to dredge up every little stinkin' thing either. I just think we should expose the truth and then leave it up to people to decide for themselves.
So it is with heavy hearts that we seek to move on. Our flight leaves Thursday morning, and like I said, I think we're pretty well set for the trip. We checked the weather report so we know what to pack, the house is in order, the dog is taken care of. It should be fun and a little nerve-wracking too, as we determine if this is truly the place where God wants us.
I am more convinced than ever that life is not a series of mountain tops and valleys, but rather a railroad track where you simultaneously experience both good things and bad things. You just never know the places God will take you.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Can't think of a title...
Things have slowed down considerably at work from last week. It seems like it's either crazy busy or super slooow, never anything in between. My boss also took today off to go fishing, so that makes it extra dead around here.
I feel like I haven't posted in a while (other than the Thursday Thirteen). Even more drama is going on within our church (gosh, is that all I talk about anymore?) Now the ex youth pastor has filed formal charges with the Presbytery against our former senior pastor for his supposed role in the firing, and wrote an 800 page supporting document outlining his complaints. 800 pages??? Is he serious? Because Gregg is on staff, we are privy to this information before the congregation officially hears of it through a letter.
And it was announced Sunday that the session is going ahead with plans for a new building, construction designed to address the serious lack of meeting & office space. On the surface it looks like a great idea. But it isn't all that well thought out. It still fails to put all the staff together in one space so they'll be less fragmented and provide a dedicated sanctuary. Right now the sanctuary is really a gym, which the school uses quite frequently for gym classes and sporting events, making set up for church services and concerts difficult. Gregg needs to spend two hours every Thursday just setting up the stage for Sunday morning. It's yet another case of leadership missing the boat.
Tess has been very good all this time, having free range of the house. But now she's getting into this routine of puking nearly every morning right before Gregg lets her outside to go potty. She'll do it right on our bedroom rug, too. We don't know what she gets so worked up about, or what she's been eating that would cause her to have to heave at exactly 7 am.
In other news, I think we may have finally figured out what type of dog she is. We saw this children's book at Sam's Club on Saturday about dogs and there was one that looked just like her, called a Vizsla (which is Hungarian for... oh, I forget). The shelter originally told us she was a Boxer, but we just weren't buying it because she doesn't have a Boxer face. When we got home, we looked the up the Vizsla breed online and all the characteristics fit Tess perfectly. Sunday we took her to the marsh five minutes from our house and let her run around without a leash. She loved it. We had to give her a bath out in the backyard after that. She stayed still for the entire time, even though she was shivering from the cold water, and passed out on the couch once we had dried her off. It was pretty cute.
Yup, so that's my life- work, church and the dog. Can't get much more exciting than that.
I feel like I haven't posted in a while (other than the Thursday Thirteen). Even more drama is going on within our church (gosh, is that all I talk about anymore?) Now the ex youth pastor has filed formal charges with the Presbytery against our former senior pastor for his supposed role in the firing, and wrote an 800 page supporting document outlining his complaints. 800 pages??? Is he serious? Because Gregg is on staff, we are privy to this information before the congregation officially hears of it through a letter.
And it was announced Sunday that the session is going ahead with plans for a new building, construction designed to address the serious lack of meeting & office space. On the surface it looks like a great idea. But it isn't all that well thought out. It still fails to put all the staff together in one space so they'll be less fragmented and provide a dedicated sanctuary. Right now the sanctuary is really a gym, which the school uses quite frequently for gym classes and sporting events, making set up for church services and concerts difficult. Gregg needs to spend two hours every Thursday just setting up the stage for Sunday morning. It's yet another case of leadership missing the boat.
Tess has been very good all this time, having free range of the house. But now she's getting into this routine of puking nearly every morning right before Gregg lets her outside to go potty. She'll do it right on our bedroom rug, too. We don't know what she gets so worked up about, or what she's been eating that would cause her to have to heave at exactly 7 am.
In other news, I think we may have finally figured out what type of dog she is. We saw this children's book at Sam's Club on Saturday about dogs and there was one that looked just like her, called a Vizsla (which is Hungarian for... oh, I forget). The shelter originally told us she was a Boxer, but we just weren't buying it because she doesn't have a Boxer face. When we got home, we looked the up the Vizsla breed online and all the characteristics fit Tess perfectly. Sunday we took her to the marsh five minutes from our house and let her run around without a leash. She loved it. We had to give her a bath out in the backyard after that. She stayed still for the entire time, even though she was shivering from the cold water, and passed out on the couch once we had dried her off. It was pretty cute.
Yup, so that's my life- work, church and the dog. Can't get much more exciting than that.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Even Through the Valleys
Since my doctor's appointment on Tuesday, I am feeling much better. The antibiotics seem to be working their magic. Things at work have finally settled down to the point of being manageable. I am so ready for the weekend, though.
All the turmoil going on with our church has prompted Gregg and I to have a lot of deep conversations lately. We've looked at everything from all different angles and peeled back the layers of the onion. One thing that has been really bothering both of us is the apathy we see. When Pastor Dan resigned back in October, he cited stagnant growth as one of the reasons he was leaving. The church had not grown numerically under his leadership for the past ten years, though we are located in one of the fastest growing communities in Florida. People's responses to that were kind of like, so what? They'd rather have him back as their pastor and experience no growth, than lose him and have growth.
We were certainly sad to see him go, but anticipated that it would give the church the breath of life and vision it needed. However, even with Pastor Dan gone there is very little desire to grow or go deeper. It makes sense though- he practically founded and then pastored the church for 25 years. Old habits die hard. Having him absent these past four months has really given us an accurate gage of the spiritual climate that exists among the congregation, and it's disturbing. We've talked with some other members who are seeing the same thing and are heartbroken over it. They're weary and losing faith in the leadership.
There is a great new song on my favorite Christian radio station by Third Day called "Mountaintop" (I think). It reminds me that, as the song goes, "I must go through the valley to stand upon the mountain of God". I know that God is here with me through this and will bring about His good purpose.
All the turmoil going on with our church has prompted Gregg and I to have a lot of deep conversations lately. We've looked at everything from all different angles and peeled back the layers of the onion. One thing that has been really bothering both of us is the apathy we see. When Pastor Dan resigned back in October, he cited stagnant growth as one of the reasons he was leaving. The church had not grown numerically under his leadership for the past ten years, though we are located in one of the fastest growing communities in Florida. People's responses to that were kind of like, so what? They'd rather have him back as their pastor and experience no growth, than lose him and have growth.
We were certainly sad to see him go, but anticipated that it would give the church the breath of life and vision it needed. However, even with Pastor Dan gone there is very little desire to grow or go deeper. It makes sense though- he practically founded and then pastored the church for 25 years. Old habits die hard. Having him absent these past four months has really given us an accurate gage of the spiritual climate that exists among the congregation, and it's disturbing. We've talked with some other members who are seeing the same thing and are heartbroken over it. They're weary and losing faith in the leadership.
There is a great new song on my favorite Christian radio station by Third Day called "Mountaintop" (I think). It reminds me that, as the song goes, "I must go through the valley to stand upon the mountain of God". I know that God is here with me through this and will bring about His good purpose.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
What the ...?
One word to sum up my life lately: BUSY. Work has been insanely busy, with getting all my books and paperwork in order for an audit and corporate tax filing and also taking on HR duties to hire more employees since our company suddenly got slammed with business. Yesterday I had a doctor’s appointment right in the middle of my work day (more about that later), and last night we attended small group.
So while the Northeast is buried under a pile of snow, we’re having a heat wave here in Central Florida. Whatever little bit of “winter” we had has disappeared. It’s been in the 80s for the past couple of days and muggy. Ick. We succumbed last night to turning on the air in the house and felt much better.
Yesterday was the first time since we moved that I’ve needed to see a doctor, besides my Ob/Gyn. For the past two weeks, I’ve been having symptoms that made me suspect I have another UTI (urinary tract infection). I’ve had them on and off for the past ten years, with varying degrees of severity. Anyway, my appointment was at 12pm with Dr. Grover. If you’re imagining a lovable fuzzy, blue muppet think again. It was a small petite, youngish looking Indian woman who made me wait half an hour to see her. Gripe: why do doctors always make you wait forever and waste your time??
Okay, so she finally comes into the examination room and I explain my symptoms to her. Upon hearing that I have tenderness and pressure in my back, she asks if my job involves sitting at a computer for most of the day. I said yes. She does a half-hearted examination of my back, asking me where I feel the pain. Then she orders a urinalysis and a pregnancy test. The results come back: negative on the pregnancy, positive on the UTI. I have to say, I was slightly disappointed that the pregnancy test was negative. But it’s not like we were trying or anything, and I really didn’t think it would be positive considering I started my period on the 15th.
So, I am prescribed some antibiotics and medication for the back pain. Huh? The antibiotics I get, but any back pain I’ve ever experienced has always coincided with a UTI. The pressure I feel there comes from my kidneys, I was told the first time I was diagnosed with this wonderful infection. I give my paperwork to the receptionist who schedules me for a follow-up appointment in two weeks and for lab work. They want to draw my blood and check my cholesterol, which seems a little excessive but whatever. It means taking more time off from work, which I’m not crazy about and I know my boss won’t be thrilled either. I feel like they just cranked me through their patient factory. Once again, I’m underwhelmed by the medical profession.
I went straight from the doctor’s office to Walmart to have my prescriptions filled and indulged in a McDonald’s value meal at the food court while I waited. I finally made it back to work around 2:30. The silver lining to all of this is that at my appointment I discovered I am at my ideal weight. Yay! So that was awesome. And my prescriptions only cost me a whopping $4, thanks to our insurance.
Things at church are still… Frustrating. Discouraging. Unsettling. I feel like we’re on a sinking ship. Morale amongst staff is at an all-time low and the interim pastor just doesn’t seem to grasp the enormity of the problems that have surfaced in recent months. We’re not really sure what he’s doing. He’s just sort of there. Gregg said that while staff is running around all over campus, feeling overwhelmed, he’s walking the halls shaking people’s hands like a politician. He actually told Gregg that email has destroyed society’s communication because nobody writes letters anymore. Um yeah, that’s a great boost for the tech ministry.
We’re both so disappointed with the session’s choice to appoint him as interim pastor. There are some real deep-seated issues going on here that are much bigger than just the whole youth pastor firing drama. And they’re not going to be fixed with a band-aid.
So while the Northeast is buried under a pile of snow, we’re having a heat wave here in Central Florida. Whatever little bit of “winter” we had has disappeared. It’s been in the 80s for the past couple of days and muggy. Ick. We succumbed last night to turning on the air in the house and felt much better.
Yesterday was the first time since we moved that I’ve needed to see a doctor, besides my Ob/Gyn. For the past two weeks, I’ve been having symptoms that made me suspect I have another UTI (urinary tract infection). I’ve had them on and off for the past ten years, with varying degrees of severity. Anyway, my appointment was at 12pm with Dr. Grover. If you’re imagining a lovable fuzzy, blue muppet think again. It was a small petite, youngish looking Indian woman who made me wait half an hour to see her. Gripe: why do doctors always make you wait forever and waste your time??
Okay, so she finally comes into the examination room and I explain my symptoms to her. Upon hearing that I have tenderness and pressure in my back, she asks if my job involves sitting at a computer for most of the day. I said yes. She does a half-hearted examination of my back, asking me where I feel the pain. Then she orders a urinalysis and a pregnancy test. The results come back: negative on the pregnancy, positive on the UTI. I have to say, I was slightly disappointed that the pregnancy test was negative. But it’s not like we were trying or anything, and I really didn’t think it would be positive considering I started my period on the 15th.
So, I am prescribed some antibiotics and medication for the back pain. Huh? The antibiotics I get, but any back pain I’ve ever experienced has always coincided with a UTI. The pressure I feel there comes from my kidneys, I was told the first time I was diagnosed with this wonderful infection. I give my paperwork to the receptionist who schedules me for a follow-up appointment in two weeks and for lab work. They want to draw my blood and check my cholesterol, which seems a little excessive but whatever. It means taking more time off from work, which I’m not crazy about and I know my boss won’t be thrilled either. I feel like they just cranked me through their patient factory. Once again, I’m underwhelmed by the medical profession.
I went straight from the doctor’s office to Walmart to have my prescriptions filled and indulged in a McDonald’s value meal at the food court while I waited. I finally made it back to work around 2:30. The silver lining to all of this is that at my appointment I discovered I am at my ideal weight. Yay! So that was awesome. And my prescriptions only cost me a whopping $4, thanks to our insurance.
Things at church are still… Frustrating. Discouraging. Unsettling. I feel like we’re on a sinking ship. Morale amongst staff is at an all-time low and the interim pastor just doesn’t seem to grasp the enormity of the problems that have surfaced in recent months. We’re not really sure what he’s doing. He’s just sort of there. Gregg said that while staff is running around all over campus, feeling overwhelmed, he’s walking the halls shaking people’s hands like a politician. He actually told Gregg that email has destroyed society’s communication because nobody writes letters anymore. Um yeah, that’s a great boost for the tech ministry.
We’re both so disappointed with the session’s choice to appoint him as interim pastor. There are some real deep-seated issues going on here that are much bigger than just the whole youth pastor firing drama. And they’re not going to be fixed with a band-aid.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Chicken Soup for the Soul
This weekend went by too quickly, as always. Gregg worked all day Friday for Panavid and came home at 6. He said how glad he was that the week was over and how much he does not miss free lancing- moving heaving equipment, the crazy hours, traveling. Yeah, I don’t miss that life either. Since I had no idea what time he would be home that night, I hadn’t started dinner when he arrived. I just threw some chicken tenders and fries in the oven and called it done, promising I’d actually make a real meal the next day.
Saturday we put the bill for Gregg’s week of work in the mail and spent a few hours at the mall window shopping. When we got home, I made my mother’s recipe for chicken soup which takes about four hours to make. It turned out really yummy. It’s been in the fifties here the past week, so I though it would be great to have a hot, hearty meal to eat that night. We left clean up for the next day and went to watch the last episode of The Apprentice online.
Sunday morning I went to my Breaking Free class and attended church right after. Our new interim pastor started his series on Romans which, unfortunately, I found difficult to follow. He was also hard to hear since he mumbles, and his wireless mic made him sound bassy. That afternoon, we went home & heated up some leftover soup for lunch. Gregg turned on the Nascar race and I took a nap on the couch. I was just waking up around 4:30 when he left to go back to church for the Missions Week kick-off. While he was gone, I did laundry and watched tv, and when he came home we had more leftovers for dinner.
Pretty standard weekend for us, just spending time together. We had the chance to talk more concerning stuff going on with the church that we’ve been unsettled about. On Thursday, Gregg met with Jonathan, who in addition to being the Young Adults Pastor is also now fulfilling a lot of duties of both youth pastor and senior pastor, and with Ron, the church administrator. He discussed his growing concerns about the place of the tech ministry, and they both expressed their desire to do whatever they could to help improve the situation. Ron said that he realizes there is no real, cohesive vision amongst staff members and that has led to everyone kind of going off in their own direction. He hopes that when Pastor Dan’s replacement comes on board, he will bring a lot of the vision and stability that our church desperately needs.
He also said that he had a similar conversation with the youth pastor in the months leading up to his termination. The former youth pastor has a lot of vision for the future, like fifty years down the road, and the church is content with maintaining things. They were at an impasse, and Ron told him he saw that he had hit a wall and could now either try to force change, continue to nudge it along, or just accept things the way they are. He chose to force change, and became insubordinate to church leadership. While I certainly don’t agree with the way he handled things, I can now appreciate the position he found himself in. What do you do when you’re going against the grain?
Gregg really appreciated Ron & Jonathan talking with him and hearing him out. Unfortunately, there are no easy fixes here. The church is in a very fragile state, and we’re in survival mode right now which makes maintaining appealing, even necessary. They aren’t interested in introducing even more change, understandably so. And staff hasn’t been working well together because of all the recent upheaval, people taking on more than their fair share of the workload to fill in the gaps for those who have left and whatnot. The ministries within the church aren’t jelling, either. This has made Gregg’s ability to do his job increasingly difficult.
In our conversations together, we both wondered if the new senior pastor they hire will really bring together everything that is needed in order for the church to move forward, or if we will continue to stay in this holding pattern of maintaining what is already here. It’ll be interesting to see what God does with CPC over the next few months.
It’s at times like these that I am so encouraged by the songs I hear on Christian radio. I just let the lyrics soak in and remind me that we are never alone.
Saturday we put the bill for Gregg’s week of work in the mail and spent a few hours at the mall window shopping. When we got home, I made my mother’s recipe for chicken soup which takes about four hours to make. It turned out really yummy. It’s been in the fifties here the past week, so I though it would be great to have a hot, hearty meal to eat that night. We left clean up for the next day and went to watch the last episode of The Apprentice online.
Sunday morning I went to my Breaking Free class and attended church right after. Our new interim pastor started his series on Romans which, unfortunately, I found difficult to follow. He was also hard to hear since he mumbles, and his wireless mic made him sound bassy. That afternoon, we went home & heated up some leftover soup for lunch. Gregg turned on the Nascar race and I took a nap on the couch. I was just waking up around 4:30 when he left to go back to church for the Missions Week kick-off. While he was gone, I did laundry and watched tv, and when he came home we had more leftovers for dinner.
Pretty standard weekend for us, just spending time together. We had the chance to talk more concerning stuff going on with the church that we’ve been unsettled about. On Thursday, Gregg met with Jonathan, who in addition to being the Young Adults Pastor is also now fulfilling a lot of duties of both youth pastor and senior pastor, and with Ron, the church administrator. He discussed his growing concerns about the place of the tech ministry, and they both expressed their desire to do whatever they could to help improve the situation. Ron said that he realizes there is no real, cohesive vision amongst staff members and that has led to everyone kind of going off in their own direction. He hopes that when Pastor Dan’s replacement comes on board, he will bring a lot of the vision and stability that our church desperately needs.
He also said that he had a similar conversation with the youth pastor in the months leading up to his termination. The former youth pastor has a lot of vision for the future, like fifty years down the road, and the church is content with maintaining things. They were at an impasse, and Ron told him he saw that he had hit a wall and could now either try to force change, continue to nudge it along, or just accept things the way they are. He chose to force change, and became insubordinate to church leadership. While I certainly don’t agree with the way he handled things, I can now appreciate the position he found himself in. What do you do when you’re going against the grain?
Gregg really appreciated Ron & Jonathan talking with him and hearing him out. Unfortunately, there are no easy fixes here. The church is in a very fragile state, and we’re in survival mode right now which makes maintaining appealing, even necessary. They aren’t interested in introducing even more change, understandably so. And staff hasn’t been working well together because of all the recent upheaval, people taking on more than their fair share of the workload to fill in the gaps for those who have left and whatnot. The ministries within the church aren’t jelling, either. This has made Gregg’s ability to do his job increasingly difficult.
In our conversations together, we both wondered if the new senior pastor they hire will really bring together everything that is needed in order for the church to move forward, or if we will continue to stay in this holding pattern of maintaining what is already here. It’ll be interesting to see what God does with CPC over the next few months.
It’s at times like these that I am so encouraged by the songs I hear on Christian radio. I just let the lyrics soak in and remind me that we are never alone.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Another Week, Another Dollar
Back to another week in full swing. Gregg has been pretty tired these past few days, for good reason. Staying up late on Friday and Saturday, then working almost non-stop all day Sunday and Monday. He was asked to work for Panavid again on Thursday morning, in addition to this Friday. More money for us, less sleep for Gregg.
Sunday I was feeling lonely without him around, so I helped myself to a heaping portion of blogging therapy and listened to my favorite feel-good songs on my MP3 player. Tess kept jumping up on the couch to look out the window and see if Gregg's truck was pulling into the driveway. Apparently she missed him too. After getting offline, I made myself some dinner and watched Reba & Seventh Heaven. I did have grandiose plans of getting a little house cleaning done, but um... that didn't happen. Oh well. I enjoyed my day of rest and relaxation. Gregg came home at 1:30 in the morning, waking up the dog, which scared me half to death b/c she started barking like crazy and I was in the middle of a dream. It's good to know she'll protect us if someone ever breaks into our house!
My heart is still heavy over what we discussed on Saturday night. We haven't had much time to talk about it again since then, but I've been bringing it the Lord in prayer and it's reminded me of how much I need Him. We aren't in control of our own lives. He's the one who directs our steps and guides our path. It really comforts me to know this.
We're going to take a night off from Bible study/small group tonight because we've just done so much running back and forth lately. We need to make some time for us.
Sunday I was feeling lonely without him around, so I helped myself to a heaping portion of blogging therapy and listened to my favorite feel-good songs on my MP3 player. Tess kept jumping up on the couch to look out the window and see if Gregg's truck was pulling into the driveway. Apparently she missed him too. After getting offline, I made myself some dinner and watched Reba & Seventh Heaven. I did have grandiose plans of getting a little house cleaning done, but um... that didn't happen. Oh well. I enjoyed my day of rest and relaxation. Gregg came home at 1:30 in the morning, waking up the dog, which scared me half to death b/c she started barking like crazy and I was in the middle of a dream. It's good to know she'll protect us if someone ever breaks into our house!
My heart is still heavy over what we discussed on Saturday night. We haven't had much time to talk about it again since then, but I've been bringing it the Lord in prayer and it's reminded me of how much I need Him. We aren't in control of our own lives. He's the one who directs our steps and guides our path. It really comforts me to know this.
We're going to take a night off from Bible study/small group tonight because we've just done so much running back and forth lately. We need to make some time for us.
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