Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Holidays Are Upon Us

It's been FREEZING here the past couple of days and my favorite radio station has switched over to playing all Christmas music all the time. Yes, that most wonderful time of the year is just around the corner.

We're going to skip the family fanfare at least for Thanksgiving and just enjoy a day off, getting up late and watching the parade on tv, then going to Cracker Barrel like we have the past two years. I wasn't much into the holiday spirit, until it snowed this past Friday. Then all of a sudden, I had to start listening to Christmas songs and mentally devising the family gift list. I am excited for our first Christmas with Colton, even though he can't open his own presents yet. I'm sure we'll take a ton of photos in the month of December alone of him by the tree and in his cute little festive outfits.

I know that everyone is going to want to see Colton around Christmas, and while I do want to show him off, I also don't want to drag him all over the world just so that he can be paraded around. He was one crabby baby the weekend we went up to Jersey at the end of October because we kept interrupting nap time to see yet another person. It's going to be hard to stick to a schedule when we visit family for Christmas, but we're going to try our best.

Colton has been adding some new tricks to his bag lately. He is now blowing bubbles and babbling up a storm! It is so cute hearing him carrying on to himself in his crib before I get out of bed in the morning. And he laughs, too. It is hysterical listening to him do it. Usually, it's his dad that gets him going. Colton's face will light up when he sees Gregg, and he is ready for playtime. He now smiles on his own without any prompting from us. It is the best feeling in the world when my baby boy flashes me a toothless grin, for no other reason than he knows I'm his mommy. We've been adding a little bit of rice cereal to his formula the past couple of days, since he was getting hungry in between feedings. He's been doing great with it, and it looks like we may actually be able to eliminate a feeding or two.

He's still sleeping through the night and not waking up until about 6:30 or 7:00. Sometimes he'll wake up in the middle of the night and fuss for a while, but eventually he soothes himself back to sleep. Colton has started imitating me and Gregg, also. If we make certain sounds or stick out our tongues, he does it too! It is amazing how much he processes now. He's such a fun little guy.

Well, I hope you all have a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving!!

Having a good time with Daddy

Trying to eat his hand

Friday, November 14, 2008

3 Months!

Happy 3 Month Birthday, Colton!!

It seems like just yesterday my sweet baby boy was born. Now he's entered the second quarter of his first year, leaving 0-3 month clothing and #1 diapers behind in the dust. I swear he grows a little more every day.

It's so cool how he interacts more with me and Gregg now. Now Colton is the one initiating smiles and coos, as if trying to get our attention. He keeps bringing his hands up to his mouth and can hold onto a rattle for a little while when we put one into his hand. He has no idea what to do with it yet, though!

I've been looking back at all the photos we've taken so far of Colton and discovered that there are 803 of them. Gee, do you think he's our first?? I can't get over how good he is. He continues to sleep through the night and stick to the schedule we've put him on, with little variation. He is so easy going and happy. It makes me wonder if we'll be so fortunate with our second one. :)

As for a follow up to my downer last post, I am feeling better. I always feel crappier during the week, and work has a lot to do with it. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed there, and trying not to think about the fact that I miss my son. On Wednesday as I was running out the door to go on one of my visits with a kid, I bumped into a foster parent who asked me how Colton was doing and how I was adjusting back to work. I made polite small talk and then nearly lost it once I got into the car. I keep thinking, lots of mothers work. They do this every day with no problem. Why can't I keep it together?

So I don't really think it's postpartum depression so much as feeling torn between my job and my baby. I'm finding my strength in God these days, because I just don't have it in myself. Every time Colton smiles at me and gurgles makes my day a little less burdensome, too.

Friday, November 07, 2008

It's Friday, but Sunday's Coming

It's taken me an entire week to finally getting around to posting pictures of Colton's first Halloween, but here they are. Didn't he make an adorable Eeyore?

Last Friday, we paid a surprise visit to New Jersey to see our families. They really enjoyed seeing Colton in his costume! We stayed through the weekend and left on Sunday afternoon. Colton got to visit with his cousin Katelyn, who is 17 months old. She was so sweet with him, calling him "Coltie" and giving him kisses. While we were up there, we decided to visit also with our friends who just had a baby girl at the end of September.
Here is a picture that Gregg's mom took of us on our last day in NJ. I think we may use it for our Christmas card this year.
It was a very nice trip, but it threw Colton's schedule off so he was pretty cranky most of the time. I enjoyed having time off from work, and it only made me want to stay at home full-time all the more. This past week I really struggled with being there. When I'm at work, I feel crummy that I'm not with my baby, and when I "work from home" I feel badly that I'm not really getting any work done because I need to take care of Colton.
I have just been a wreck lately. I'm not able to concentrate, I get irritated over the least little thing, I feel like crying most of the time. I'm frustrated we haven't found a church yet, unhappy at my job, just unhappy in general. My moods have really been all over the place. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I have post partum depression. I think I'm still reeling from the plunge in hormones that happened right after Colton was born. I go back on bc Sunday, and I'm hoping it makes me a little more stable. Posted by Picasa