A Real Update

I thought it was time for a real update, other than the monthly "what has Colton been up to?" post. Life is going pretty well. Gregg and I celebrated seven years of marriage on the 11th, which seems crazy to me. It doesn't feel like we've been married that long at all. They say that at this time you start to get the "7 year itch", but I find myself more in love with my husband now than I was before. I would really like to get more time alone, though. We haven't been out together, just the two of us, in six months. On our wedding anniversary we brought Colton along to the restaurant with us, and while he was well behaved, he was still a distraction.

I'm still doing the SAHM thing, and trying not to lose my mind along the way. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times when I'm all ooey-gooey about being a mom and take a lot of satisfaction in the fact that I stay at home with my son. But there are plenty of others when I'm literally counting down the minutes until Gregg arrives home. Like last night for instance. When Colton decided to have a meltdown while I was trying to cook dinner and get the house back in some type of order. So I did what any good mom would do: I ignored him. I endured nearly 20 minutes of ear-splitting screaming and crying, holding my ears at one point, sure that the neighbors were going to call Child Protective Services on me.

When I actually made the mistake of looking in his direction, Colton only escalated his tantrum, crying so hard I thought he was going to pass out. I stood my ground, trying to enforce what I had learned earlier that day on Dr. Phil. After the episode was finally over, I felt pretty crappy that I had let my child carry on as long as I did. But I'm not going to be one of those parents who just gives in whenever their kid flips out about something. He'll thank me in 20 years or so.

I recently finished reading "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms", and I can say it really has changed my perspective on being a full-time mom. I admit that there were many days when I wondered what I did that a daycare worker couldn't do just as well, or better. Now I've come to the conclusion that there is no way somebody could ever do the job of being Colton's primary caretaker better than his own mommy. I've been there for every "first", every feeding, every disgusting diaper change. I've been the one making the decisions about what goes into his body at each meal, comforting him when he cries, snuggling with him before naptime, and witnessing the excitement and delight in his face each time he accomplishes the next new challenge of his current phase of development. Why would I ever want to give that away to somebody else?

So I try to keep these things in the forefront of my mind as I go through these sometimes monotonous and frustrating days. My MOMS group has certainly been a lifesaver during the past four months. Whether we're meeting at another mom's house or at the Playplace at the local McDonald's, it has been so good to connect with other SAHM's and watch Colton interact with other kids his age. To just get out of the house. My little boy started to really get confident walking sometime last week, and walks now like he's known how to for months but didn't feel like it. I can't even describe how it feels to see him toddling around, knowing that he has reached this all-important milestone. It's like he's the only person that has ever stood upright on two legs before and walked.

We decided to become members of the church we've been attending since the end of August, being officially welcomed into membership this past Sunday. I volunteered to serve in the nursery once in a while, which is great since Colton stays there anyway during service. He kinda freaks out at the very beginning when I drop him off, but within two minutes he's settled down and starts playing with all the toys there. He especially loves the play kitchen, where he pretends to cook soup.

I've already begun planning for my sister's baby shower, which won't be until June. It's fun to have this "side project" to work on. I'm also trying to plan a weekend visit to go down and see her, and maybe help her register while we're there. I can't help but feel a little smug, maybe, that I'm now at the point where I can give mommy advice to someone going through it for the first time. Of course, it can be so easy to forget just how stinkin' hard those first few months were because I'm here on the other side of them, already thinking about #2. Did I really just type those words?? Well, it's really not so shocking when I've always said I wanted my kids to be 2 1/2 years apart. I think about my relationship with Colton, though, and how it's going to change whenever I bring that new baby home. I want "our time" together to last as long as possible. I also think about how incredible it feels to have grown a human being inside of me, given birth, and nurtured him to the point where he is now; you know, that I can actually do this mom thing and maybe do it well. It makes me want to go right on ahead and create another life that I can't imagine the world was ever complete without.

That's pretty much it for now. These days I'm really trying to be a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, and just appreciate all the blessings I've been given because I can so easily become disgruntled at the annoyances of life.