The Storm Has Passed

Whew. That was one of the most trying weeks I've had as a parent so far. A close second would be when Colton was cutting his first year molars last March and I got a total of ten hours of sleep. Yep, and I wanted another child.

After sticking to the B.R.A.T. diet (much to Colton's dismay since I wouldn't let him have his beloved milk) my little boy finally showed signs of returning to normal by Wednesday night. I've never been so happy NOT to see a poopy diaper. And then, I got sick. I still don't know if it was a very mild case of Colton's bug, or pregnancy induced nausea, but suddenly I couldn't stand to smell, eat, or look at food. I was pretty useless over Thursday and Friday, but by that time Gregg had returned home from his business trip and was able to help me out.

Now that the plague of sickness has passed by our house, I feel like I'm able to focus on and enjoy this pregnancy. I am 15 weeks along today, and have been in maternity clothes now for two. It's pretty obvious already to everyone that I'm having a baby. With my first pregnancy, I almost felt like an impostor at 16 weeks going to Babies 'R Us to register because I was barely showing. Call me crazy, but I think I felt a kick yesterday too. Things are happening so much quicker this time around!

I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time at my 12 week appointment on April 1. It was strong and in the 170's! People keep telling me that, based on the heart rate, I'm having a girl. I know it's just an old wives tale, but it's fun to believe. I still really want a daughter. We should find out sometime in May!

I'm starting to look at new furniture for the nursery, along with double strollers (yikes). I am also beginning to gather some information on breastfeeding, so I'll be more prepared this time. I haven't made the solid decision yet whether I want to try it again, but I feel okay either way. Colton flourished on formula and has been a pretty healthy kid, so I'm not worried. I think, though, that I have decided I'd like to try a VBAC if I go into labor on my own. That's all up to my body and baby's timing, which I understand. No matter how this child is delivered and fed, the most important thing of all to me is that he or she is healthy at birth and that I do not experience PPD again. I am honestly not overly concerned about it coming back, because I think a lot of the pressures and lack of knowledge I felt as a first time mom just won't be there. But I don't want to be naive, either. I want to be able to recognize the signs and ask for help when I need it, instead of suffering silently.

Since we learned baby #2 was on the way, we have also been planning to move from the condo into a house. Right now we only have two bedrooms and absolutely no yard. We haven't found anything great in our price range yet, but our landlord is in no hurry to see us leave since he still has a mortgage on this place and the market is flooded with rentals right now. He actually offered to reduce our rent if we stayed longer.

While looking for another place to live, Gregg and I actually had a discussion (more like an argument) about moving back to Florida. This past winter was horrible, and things aren't getting any cheaper. It might actually make sense if we didn't have a kid and one on the way. But reality is, Gregg has a very good job up here and we have an invaluable support system. Last summer and fall when we were facing the possibility of Gregg losing his job or being transferred due to the buyout, I had a lot of peace that we were supposed to stay here. That, in fact, God was not calling us to leave New Jersey and would move all the pieces into place so that we could continue living here. And He did just that. So in seeking Him again for whether a relocation was in the plan this time, I clearly heard that the answer was no. God has many more opportunities for us to minister and be ministered to here. Gregg also (though more reluctantly) felt the same answer.

Though I hate feeling at odds with my husband, this was a chance for us to really confront and pray through an issue that has been lurking in our marriage. I know that Gregg has this spirit of adventure within him. John Eldredge says in his book, Wild at Heart, that "adventure is a deeply spiritual longing written into the soul of a man." It has been given to him by God and right now Gregg feels stuck in a lot of ways, particularly at work, and that he's not able to do enough because of how tight our finances still are living in one of the most expensive areas of the country. God has shown me how I can empathize with my husband, instead of judging him, and speak to him in a way that opens up communication rather than shuts it down.

Wow, that was a lot of writing. I guess I'm making up for all those months where I hardly blogged at all!

Life Is Good!

So I thought it was time for an update... I know Christmas was ages ago (okay, only a month) but I figured I would start with that. We had a good time visiting with all of Gregg's family on Christmas Day and then mine the second weekend of January. Colton received several very LARGE and very LOUD presents that we had to rent another condo to fit them all in- just kidding! There is currently a train table taking up half of our living room, though, and his bedroom is busting with so many toys, I don't know where to put them all. I think next year I'm telling people to get him books and clothes... practical, quiet, and SMALL. I mean really, do people consider the size of our current living quarters before they purchase these gifts? Anyway, I am appreciative of our family's generosity and that this kid has want of nothing. My sister bought him his own V-tech laptop so he can sit at the table just like mom and dad, typing away and practicing his phonics.

I think it snowed 10 out of 14 days these past couple of weeks and I.am.sick.of.it. Not a big fan of winter to begin with, and this just all the more makes me want to move back down to Florida. It's not fun to be stuck in the house. :( Today, despite temperatures in the teens and low 20s, we bundled ourselves up to go to the mall and return a few Christmas gifts. After scoring some great store credit to be used in the future, we grabbed lunch and then splurged on Starbucks coffee, which Gregg & I drank while Colton played in the mall's Kid Zone. It was a nice family afternoon out that I desperately needed.

My little boy is going to be two and a half in only a few short weeks. 2 1/2! Where did the time go? I'm having (mostly) a blast watching him grow up. Colton can say about 140 words now, and his vocabulary has tripled in the past five months. The words are coming so fast these days that I hardly have time to write them down! He's also starting to put three and four words together in sentences and can identify a few letters, such as A, B, C, L, O, and P. Colton is obsessed with trains and Curious George. He asks to watch "mo-nee" every night before bed. He also LOVES to read. Well, have us read to him at least. I borrowed a Curious George book from the library last month that was 46 pages, and he sat there every day (sometimes twice a day) through the entire thing, paying close attention and pointing out pictures. I found that reading together at least once a day has really improved his vocabulary.

We broke down and bought a potty a few weeks ago, but the truth is he just isn't ready yet. And I'm okay with that. He's growing up so fast as it is. I dreaded the "terrible twos", but you know what, two is actually pretty terrific. Colton definitely has his bad days when he's cranky and nothing pleases him, but I've noticed that he seems to be much more socially and emotionally mature than most boys his age. He doesn't grab toys away from other kids, he rarely has meltdowns when he doesn't get his way, and he can adapt pretty easily to changes in routine. I joke that we shouldn't "mess with perfection" by having a second one, ha ha! But seriously, Colton is not perfect- he can be outright defiant at times, tries to run away from me in public places, and gets so worked up if the opposite parent puts him to bed that he pukes all over the place. Last Sunday I was at a baby shower, so Gregg had to put him down for a nap and Colton was anxious about me being gone so much he made himself sick. In the middle of December, Gregg needed to work late several days in a row and wasn't available to put Coltie to bed as he always does, so when I did it instead his anxiety got the best of him... and you guessed it, he blew chunks. I can't tell you how many times we've had to wash the crib bumper over the past 10 months! Thank goodness we've got a front loader.

Gregg and I celebrated our 8th anniversary on January 11. I really can't believe we've been married that long already. We're finding ourselves in a unique place in our marriage these days, in that we are the most financially stable we have ever been. Gregg has wholeheartedly adopted the Vertical Vision mantra (http://www.myverticalvision.com/), and it has radically changed the way we both view our finances and money in general. We have a good budget in place and have a month's worth of money in the bank before the month even starts. We also have savings and an emergency fund. We used to live paycheck to paycheck and were always afraid of running out of money before the month ended. Also, we stopped using credit cards!! The only debt we have now is a student loan and Gregg's car loan, which we hope to pay off within the next two years. I can't tell you how good it feels to be on our way towards financial freedom.

Anyway, I think that's it for now. I want to start posting more often... blogging has taken a backseat to Facebook, house cleaning, and taking care of a toddler, but I think I should make the effort to squeeze it in more!

Are You Sitting Down For This?

I know. I'm lame. It's been ten months, and I'm finally getting around to posting a real update- not just a once-a-month, play-by-play description of the goings on in the life of Colton.

So, be prepared! I'm going to try to condense the last 10 months into just a few paragraphs. It'll be organized into categories, with only the highlights, I promise.

Job/Finances: Gregg's company was bought out last week by Anheuser Busch, which is now technically InBev. For five months, we sat on pins and needles waiting for the closing to happen, wondering what it would mean for my husband's job. We thought about every possible scenario: a transfer (and another move), unemployment, a pay cut. All the things I feared the most and prayed fervently would not happen. Well, it turned out that God answered all of my prayers and THEN SOME. After all the dust had settled, Gregg was promoted and given a pay raise. And that's not all. He was promised a significant sum of money while negotiations were going on, to keep confidential about everything as long as he performed his job duties through the closing of the sale. He received this money, as well as a severance package, along with all the sick days/vacation days/personal days he didn't take, and his regular quarterly bonus. The total is in the tens of thousands of dollars.

SO- we've decided to finally buy a second car, pay off one of my student loans, and put the rest in savings. I can't even fully express what a relief and blessing this is to us. Living on one salary with only one car for the last two years has been really, really difficult. I would never go back though and make the decision not to stay at home with our son. All the sacrifices have been worth it. God is SO good!!! I'm very excited to go look at cars this weekend!!

Child(ren): Colton is doing great! He turned two in August and was 25 lbs. 10 oz. & 33 3/4" at his 2-year well visit (20th percentile). He has a vocabulary of 60 words now, and is recognizing more all the time. He loves to "read" books, play with his trucks, pretend that he's cooking at his play kitchen, and just be silly. I think I fall in love with this kid more every day. I look at him and think, "I can't believe he's actually mine". We've talked about trying for Baby #2 after the new year starts.

Church: We have been attending the same church for over a year now and feel like it is exactly the place where God wants us. Gregg became a deacon in the spring, and has recently taken on more responsibility after we lost both of our elders and another deacon due to some very serious personal issues. He's been getting together regularly with the pastor to make administrative decisions the past several weeks. I've been trying to meet with our pastor's wife on a regular basis too, not just because I'm a leader's wife, but because she is an incredible godly woman. She is so transparent and authentic, and genuinely loves the people she serves. She has spoken a lot of truth into my life these past few months.

"SAHMness": There is still nothing I would rather do right now than stay at home. I truly feel that is where God has called me. It doesn't mean that there aren't days when I want to pull my hair out or long for a minute to myself just to go to the bathroom. But I always end up at the end of every day being thankful that I can be here for Colton while he's this young. I am still actively involved in my local MOMS Club, which is such a godsend. In June, I took over the task of putting together the newsletter each month and that's been really fun. I am so grateful to have found this wonderful group of mommies, who have become some good friends. They have made the last 14 months bearable. Before I joined last September, I was on the verge of a breakdown. I literally never left the house and was struggling to take care of an infant on my own while my husband was away from home for 12 hours a day. Finding them was a real turning point for me. While most of the women are unchurched, they have been an incredible blessing to me all the same. Again, God is good!

So I think that sums up everything I want to say. I can't promise I'll be updating my blog on a regular basis from now on, but I'll certainly try. I've become much more of a Facebooker, just typing a quick blurb about what's going on. I did give my blog a pretty new background, so that should be an incentive. :) I do keep up with all of your blogs on a consistent basis, but I've been terrible at leaving comments. So I guess I'm just a lurker now. Well if you've made it this far, congratulations and thank you!

A Real Update

I thought it was time for a real update, other than the monthly "what has Colton been up to?" post. Life is going pretty well. Gregg and I celebrated seven years of marriage on the 11th, which seems crazy to me. It doesn't feel like we've been married that long at all. They say that at this time you start to get the "7 year itch", but I find myself more in love with my husband now than I was before. I would really like to get more time alone, though. We haven't been out together, just the two of us, in six months. On our wedding anniversary we brought Colton along to the restaurant with us, and while he was well behaved, he was still a distraction.

I'm still doing the SAHM thing, and trying not to lose my mind along the way. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times when I'm all ooey-gooey about being a mom and take a lot of satisfaction in the fact that I stay at home with my son. But there are plenty of others when I'm literally counting down the minutes until Gregg arrives home. Like last night for instance. When Colton decided to have a meltdown while I was trying to cook dinner and get the house back in some type of order. So I did what any good mom would do: I ignored him. I endured nearly 20 minutes of ear-splitting screaming and crying, holding my ears at one point, sure that the neighbors were going to call Child Protective Services on me.

When I actually made the mistake of looking in his direction, Colton only escalated his tantrum, crying so hard I thought he was going to pass out. I stood my ground, trying to enforce what I had learned earlier that day on Dr. Phil. After the episode was finally over, I felt pretty crappy that I had let my child carry on as long as I did. But I'm not going to be one of those parents who just gives in whenever their kid flips out about something. He'll thank me in 20 years or so.

I recently finished reading "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms", and I can say it really has changed my perspective on being a full-time mom. I admit that there were many days when I wondered what I did that a daycare worker couldn't do just as well, or better. Now I've come to the conclusion that there is no way somebody could ever do the job of being Colton's primary caretaker better than his own mommy. I've been there for every "first", every feeding, every disgusting diaper change. I've been the one making the decisions about what goes into his body at each meal, comforting him when he cries, snuggling with him before naptime, and witnessing the excitement and delight in his face each time he accomplishes the next new challenge of his current phase of development. Why would I ever want to give that away to somebody else?

So I try to keep these things in the forefront of my mind as I go through these sometimes monotonous and frustrating days. My MOMS group has certainly been a lifesaver during the past four months. Whether we're meeting at another mom's house or at the Playplace at the local McDonald's, it has been so good to connect with other SAHM's and watch Colton interact with other kids his age. To just get out of the house. My little boy started to really get confident walking sometime last week, and walks now like he's known how to for months but didn't feel like it. I can't even describe how it feels to see him toddling around, knowing that he has reached this all-important milestone. It's like he's the only person that has ever stood upright on two legs before and walked.

We decided to become members of the church we've been attending since the end of August, being officially welcomed into membership this past Sunday. I volunteered to serve in the nursery once in a while, which is great since Colton stays there anyway during service. He kinda freaks out at the very beginning when I drop him off, but within two minutes he's settled down and starts playing with all the toys there. He especially loves the play kitchen, where he pretends to cook soup.

I've already begun planning for my sister's baby shower, which won't be until June. It's fun to have this "side project" to work on. I'm also trying to plan a weekend visit to go down and see her, and maybe help her register while we're there. I can't help but feel a little smug, maybe, that I'm now at the point where I can give mommy advice to someone going through it for the first time. Of course, it can be so easy to forget just how stinkin' hard those first few months were because I'm here on the other side of them, already thinking about #2. Did I really just type those words?? Well, it's really not so shocking when I've always said I wanted my kids to be 2 1/2 years apart. I think about my relationship with Colton, though, and how it's going to change whenever I bring that new baby home. I want "our time" together to last as long as possible. I also think about how incredible it feels to have grown a human being inside of me, given birth, and nurtured him to the point where he is now; you know, that I can actually do this mom thing and maybe do it well. It makes me want to go right on ahead and create another life that I can't imagine the world was ever complete without.

That's pretty much it for now. These days I'm really trying to be a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, and just appreciate all the blessings I've been given because I can so easily become disgruntled at the annoyances of life.

Time For Ourselves

Gregg and I really enjoyed our self-made three day weekend. Saturday we didn't do much except run some errands and travel around a little to see more of the area we moved to. It turns out there is so much more to this area than we thought, including a lot of family-friendly places. On Sunday, we got ready for church by 9am and were really early for the service so we drove around a little bit to kill time. We ended up seeing a sign for another church that looked appealing so Gregg pulled into a parking lot and brought up their website on his Blackberry. We decided to attend this church instead of the one we went to last week, but since the service didn't start until 11 and Colton needed a nap, we drove around even more. He slept while we explored.

The church we attended was extremely friendly and welcoming (maybe a little too friendly), and pretty small because it was a recent plant. They didn't have their own building yet so they were meeting in a middle school and the auditorium was hot & stuffy. Colton was the only infant in nursery, so I'm not sure you could even call it a nursery. There were a few older kids in there with him, maybe three to five years old? After our experience, we felt that it just wasn't the right fit for us. I'm kind of bummed, because I so want to find a good church home, but it has to fit our needs as a family. We're going to check out yet another church this Sunday.

We came home and had lunch, and by that time Colton was getting pretty crabby since he didn't have a proper nap in the morning. I put him down to sleep so he could get in at least an hour nap before Dave & Teresa were supposed to arrive. They showed up about 3 and we hung out here for a while before going out for dinner. Gregg wanted them to experience an authentic Jersey diner so that's where we took them. Colton did great at the restaurant, happily playing with some toys and eating a few bites of my hamburger and bun. After dinner, the Arnold's went back to their hotel and we tried to make it an early night since we needed to leave at 8:30 the next morning.

Monday we left a little later than planned, but still got to my in-laws' at 9:30 to drop Colton off for the day. From there, we went to Hoboken first since Teresa wanted to visit Carlo's Bakery where the Cake Boss on TLC has his bake shop. She wanted to meet the guy, Buddy, but was told that he doesn't come in on Mondays. We had tried to tell her beforehand that there was probably a very slim chance she would actually get to meet him- after all, he's on Jersey time and well, Teresa is very much on Pennsylvania time! She still bought some pastries and cookies, and I tried one of the Neapolitan "rainbow cookies" which was pretty tasty.

On our way to the ferry that we had to catch for Ellis Island, Gregg stopped at his work and gave us the grand tour. Up until then, I had only seen the outside of the building. It was nice to finally see his office. We spent a few hours on Ellis Island touring and had a late lunch there before heading to the Statue of Liberty. We never even made it into New York City, but we still had a great time. We caught the ferry back to New Jersey at 5:45 and were driving back to pick up Colton by 6:30. Then we sat in traffic and didn't make it to Gregg's parents' until almost 8!

My MIL said Coltie was great for her and only started getting whiny at about 5. He fell asleep on the way home for a short while, but woke up screaming when we stopped for gas. When we finally got home, I changed him into his jammies, gave him a bottle, and held him for a little bit. As soon as I laid Colton down in the crib, he started crying and continued after I closed the door behind me. It was that kind of awful cry when he thinks I'm leaving him, which always breaks my heart. Gregg went in to get him while I went to the bathroom, and I ended up rocking him until he fell asleep. I hate doing that since I don't want him to rely on me rocking him to go to sleep, but we had Dave & Teresa over for something to eat before they went back to their hotel and I couldn't let him cry like that for the next 30 minutes. It was nearly 10pm when he finally went down for the night.

I was really glad to have a baby-free day with my husband, enjoying the company of good friends. I love my little boy to pieces, but it was SO nice not to have to worry about stopping to feed or change or soothe him while we were out and actually walk hand in hand with my hubby. It was also really nice to be held from behind while we we waited on lines, like Gregg always used to do. He asked later on that evening if he should take more days off like that and have grandma watch Colton so we can spend time together just the two of us. It was so needed to rejuvenate some life back into our marriage. Not that we're on the road to Splitsville or anything, but we were both just... surviving, going through the motions of every day life. It was so nice to break out of our regular routine. It sounds cheesy, but I think I fell in love with my husband all over again on Monday.

So now I'm back to being a desperate housewife. :) This coming Monday is my 30th birthday. I don't feel near that old yet. I mean, I'm married and have a baby like all responsible thirty-somethings, but I still look like I'm about 22. In less than a week, I will enter another decade and chapter of my life. Then Colton turns one just 18 days after that!

Updates Again

Here is just another update in the life and times of the B household. On Saturday, Gregg and I went out on our date while my mother-in-law watched Colton. This was only the second time we've been out together alone since he was born. We dropped him off around 5 at her house, then drove to downtown Ridgewood a few towns away to have dinner. It was such a nice night that we decided to get a table outside. The food was very good, but the service unfortunately left a little to be desired.

After we finished our meal, we stopped in a coffee shop and quick fed the meter before taking a walk around with our drinks. There were dozens of other people milling about, mostly couples, but there were a few young families with kids in strollers which of course made me think of Coltie! We walked hand in hand, something we haven't done a lot of in the past nine months. Either one or both of us always has a hand full carrying the infant carrier or pushing the stroller when we go out.

We took our time heading back towards Gregg's parents' and enjoyed a nice drive through various neighborhoods that were all in full spring bloom. When we arrived to pick up Colton, he was sitting with Grandma on the couch in his pjs watching tv because he refused to go to sleep! My MIL said he was very good for her, but he just would not go to sleep in the crib they have. He also fussed a lot during his diaper change, which isn't unusual since he does that with me. She also said that after about an hour, he started to realize that we were gone. As soon as Colton saw me, his face crumpled so I picked him up right away and kissed him. Then all was right with the world. I really appreciated being able to go out for a few hours and do the husband & wife thing now that we're mommy & daddy 24-7.

Last night, we took Colton for his 9 month well visit. He's in the 75th percentile this time for both height and weight. He grew two inches and gained only one pound since the last appointment, putting him at 22 lbs and 29 inches. The doctor wasn't concerned that he isn't pulling up to stand yet. Everything with him looked fine and he got three more shots, to catch him up from what he missed during the time we didn't have insurance. Colton screamed throughout the entire visit, and I felt so bad for him. He kept looking at me with this petrified look on his face and tears in his eyes. I almost started crying myself! We were in and out of there in under an hour, the good thing about having an appointment on a Monday evening. Now we don't have to go back until Colton's a year old. I can't believe that'll be in just 2 1/2 months.

In other news, I've been throwing stuff out and putting things on Craigslist in preparation for another move. We knew from the beginning that the place we're in now was only temporary, and we're very grateful we've been able to stay here as long as we have, but now it's time for us to find somewhere else. The search for a place to live thus far has been fruitless and frustrating. They've either been too far away from Gregg's job, or too expensive, or within our budget but, shall we say, crappy? Then there was the condo that this lady who was moving out of state wanted to rent to us, but it turned out that it's a low income housing unit and she's not allowed to rent it out. Someone found out and snitched on her, so right after she offered it to us she had to withdraw the offer. We're going to look at a place tonight when Gregg gets off of work, and hopefully it's the right fit. I'm tired of looking and not knowing where we're going to end up. Hopefully I'll have some good news to post soon!

Mother's Day Weekend

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all you mommies!

I had a very nice weekend, which, after a particularly frustrating week, was much needed. It started out with some unexpected excitement Friday night. I had just put Colton to bed and we were digging into our Chinese take-out, when Tess began barking at something outside. Gregg got up to see what she was so worked up about and saw a pretty decent sized bear lumbering through the trees just beyond our backyard fence.

Now black bears are known to roam this part of New Jersey (and you thought it was all just a bunch of oil refineries), but they're usually harmless. They just go about looking for stuff to eat and love to dig in people's trash cans. This bear was pretty nonchalant that it had just wandered onto our property. Gregg quickly shut the windows, however, which were wide open. Shortly after I came over to gawk at the bear, the neighbor's dog that had gotten out of his yard ran up to it and chased it up a tree. The bear just couldn't be bothered. It stayed up in one of our trees for a good while, shaking the branches so hard that they stratched against the roof of the house. It started down the tree when the coast seemed clear, but the dog came charging back.

I told Gregg he should probably let the neighbor know that their dog was loose and chasing after a bear. He went out the front door and a few minutes later, the couple next door came out into their yard and called their dog back. When the commotion ended, the bear climbed down the tree and went off on his way, but not before Gregg could take a picture of it!

On Saturday, we were busy getting the house and yard ready for our Mother's Day BBQ. Later that afternoon, I filled out some more pages of Colton's baby book and read for a little while. Gregg went over to his parents' to pick up a folding table and some other things, and when he came home we finished watching The Family Man on tv and ate dinner.

Sunday I woke up to find colorful messages written by Colton via his daddy on several windows throughout the house. Gregg said that Colton saw these really cool Crayola Window Crayons in the store and asked to get them. :) He spent most of the morning setting up stuff outside and then his family started arriving around 12:30. The weather was beautiful, although it became quite cool in the shade so most of us threw on sweatshirts about an hour into the picnic. The guys did everything- cooked the food, served the ladies. Gregg even fed and changed Colton for me. It was really nice to sit back and be pampered for a few hours. There was some clean up afterwards, but even that was minimal since everyone pitched in to help.

Gregg's mom, dad, and grandpa were the last ones to leave about 4:30. We spent another half an hour ourselves finishing the clean up and then relaxed for the rest of the night. After putting Colton to bed, we watched the season finales of The Amazing Race and Celebrity Apprentice.

I went to bed feeling really blessed that I have such a wonderful husband and son. My first Mother's Day as a mommy made me remember just how incredible and amazing it is to be one!























Me with my little boy. Never mind my crooked smile and the fact that Colton looks so serious, even almost annoyed that his picture was being taken. Don't let it fool you; that's his poker face, he's really smiling on the inside.


Colton's beautiful artwork!

One of Those Scattered Posts

As I sit here looking out the window, I'm wondering what this weather is up to... it seems like it's 60 degrees and sunny one day, and then 40 and rainy the next! I can't wait until it's consistently warm and bright outside. I did take advantage of one of the really nice days last week by taking Colton for a walk in the stroller. It was almost 70, and as we walked up and down our street I envisioned us being able to go soon to the park or zoo as a family. I am really looking forward to all the warm weather activities we can do with our little boy. I can't believe he'll be 8 months old next Tuesday!

So Gregg recently had his 90 day review at work, and they are so pleased with his performance that they gave him a raise already!! In a time when companies are laying off people and cutting back spending, my husband was given a pay increase. We are both blown away. God just keeps showering us with blessings.

This past weekend we decided to cruise through some neighborhoods that we'd like to move to so that Gregg can cut down on his commute. He wanted to show me where he works so we went there, and then ended up stopping by my dad's place on the way home and surprising him. We took him out for a bite to eat and talked for about an hour and a half. It was a really good visit, and I know that he appreciated us taking the time to come around to his neck of the woods.

On Sunday we went to the second service at church so we didn't have to rush around trying to get ready. During service, I was reminded of how I should be reflecting on Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for me as this week leads up to Easter. After church, we went to Gregg's parents' like usual. We stayed for a while after dinner was over and talked while Grandma played with Colton.

On the way home, we stopped to look at some apartments. They were nice, but too expensive. The cheaper one was kind of small and I really just couldn't envision us actually living there. Unfortunately, the rent in this part of the state is ridiculous. We have to rent right now because the house prices in NJ are still too high even with the housing market in a slump. Then you add property taxes and insurance which are both through the roof. We're hoping to find something decent that doesn't break the bank. Wherever we go, we plan on staying for a number of years so the school system also has to be good.

It would be so much cheaper to live practically anywhere else, but then again Gregg wouldn't have the kind of job he has now and we wouldn't be close to family. I'm feeling once more that desire to be settled. I'm tired of moving and getting used to one place only to be uprooted yet again. I just have to focus on and remember all that the Lord has done and is doing for us. It's so easy for me to become disgruntled.

The Other Man In My Life

I've noticed that my posts lately have pretty much ALL been about Colton and his daily activities & such. My poor husband has taken a backseat in the last few months. So I wanted this post to be one big shout-out to my hubby, Gregg.

What can I say? I'll start out with the obvious: he is a wonderful husband and father. He is thoughtful and always ready & willing to lend a helping hand to a friend or family member. He is great at explaining things, especially to me who often has blonde moments where I "just don't get it". He is not afraid of standing up for what he believes in, including God's truths. That's something I really admired about him from the start, since I'm a wimp when it comes to expressing how I feel when it might hurt someone else's feelings.

This photo is from early on in our relationship, taken the same weekend that he first told me he loved me.

















Somewhere around the 25th of August, 2002.

Almost exactly one month later, he proposed. We were married six years, two months, and 19 days ago on a very chilly January afternoon. There is a very long story about why we got hitched during the coldest month of the year. Ask me to recount it sometime when you have nothing else to do but sit down and read about the on-going drama with my immediate family.

What I liked from the very beginning was that Gregg never fooled around in our relationship, meaning that he was always clear about his intentions. He knew he wanted me and he pursued me. He was the one who wanted to get engaged and married so quickly, actually. He said he knew he had found the one for him, so why wait any longer?

He really is a go-getter and not content to settle for second best. But he has been patient with me during our marriage when I sort of "lag behind him". He's also been patient through my many failed cooking attempts (he still teases me about the first meal I ever made for us- it was out of a box and I still screwed it up), hesitance to try new things, and rigidity when plans don't go the way I want them.

Gregg works hard every day to provide for us, being away from home sometimes for twelve hours (we're working on finding a place closer to where he works so he won't have as much of a commute). When he comes home at night, he doesn't bring the problems at the office home with him. He plugs right in to whatever Colton and I are doing, and cleans up after dinner while I put the baby to bed.

A lot of people might think that my husband is very serious, but the truth is that he is a total goof. One of my favorite memories of him is from the beginning of last summer when we were driving home from church on a Sunday afternoon and the song "4 Minutes" by Justin Timberlake & Madonna came on the radio. Gregg rolled down the windows in the car, turned up the volume full blast and began singing along, beeping the horn in certain parts. This was still when we lived in Chambersburg, one of the most conservative towns in the Northeast. I laughed so hard I almost peed (which would have been very easy to do since I was 7 months pregnant). I imagined all these little old ladies just getting out of church and seeing us drive by in our minivan with our "club" going.

With a baby our dates these days are few and far between, but we find time here and there to reconnect and have fun by ourselves. We'll play different games on our Wii during the weekend. Gregg's parents got him a Wii station for Christmas, and it is such a blast. We also enjoy snuggling on the couch or in bed watching our favorite tv programs after Colton's down for the night.

Here's a picture of my hubby with his little boy:


I love you, honey! You're the best!

Legacy

Well, it's snowing again. BIG surprise. Sometimes it feels like this winter will never end. I have literally ached for spring to be here these past few days. I've come to the conclusion that when (and if) I decide to have another baby, it will not be during winter! Being shut up in the house for most of the week doesn't help break up the winter doldrums, either.

I was relieved to get out on Saturday with Gregg and Colton for a while. We went to Babies 'R Us (my husband's favorite place, ha) so that I could finally return some items we received during the summer at my baby showers. The amount was added to the gift cards we already had, totaling nearly $100. I decided to get some new clothes for Colton with the gift card, along with a baby gate. I can't believe we're actually almost at the point where one of those will come in handy!

Afterwards, we dropped by Grandma's for a pit stop because we were (sort of) in the neighborhood. I changed and fed Coltie there, and we stayed for over an hour, longer than we meant to. On the way home, we stopped at Outback for dinner. I had been looking forward to a dinner out the whole week. We reworked our budget after Gregg got his first paycheck, and decided that we would allow one meal out each week.

We were kinda hesitant to bring Colton along and considered leaving him with Gregg's parents, since he was getting rather fussy. The best of intentions... We actually got to the restaurant early enough that there was no wait yet, and settled into a booth towards the back. Colton was okay for the first five minutes or so in his carrier, then wanted out. Gregg offered to hold him until our dinner arrived. He ended up trying to eat his dinner with one hand while holding the baby with the other, because our son wasn't happy any other way. All seemed to be going well until Colton began screaming and was not content to sit on his daddy's lap anymore. Gregg had to get up and bounce him, then came back to the table. This continued a couple more times until we just gave up and aborted our attempt at a nice, civilized dinner.

We had our food wrapped up, quickly paid the check, and left. Gregg was stressed, I was stressed, and we ended up getting into an argument on the way home while Colton wailed in his car seat. We settled the matter later over ice cream from Dairy Queen after I put the baby to bed. Dates are hard to come by these days, that's for sure.

The next day we made it out to church. For the first time in five weeks! I confess we hadn't gone to church at all the entire month of January. Since Christmas Eve, to be exact. One of us was sick (and then got sick again), and last week there was no way we could have made it to Gregg's company outing if we had gone to service. It was so good to be in church again. Not because I think skipping church is necessarily sinful, it's just always refreshing to be in the company of other believers. To worship God with our voices. To hear God's word spoken and preached. A few people stopped us and said how it is a blessing to have us in their congregation again. And we responded that it is a blessing to be back.

After the particularly frustrating and stressful evening we had the night before, it was wonderful to be ministered to in the church that has always felt like home to us. Colton was even "as good as gold" in nursery. Ha, if they had seen him only 15 hours beforehand.

It was important for us to be in service, I think because more than anything it reminded me of who I am. Who I am in Christ, I mean. I am a mother and a wife of course, but I'm also a Christian. I believe I've been called to live out those roles in a Christ-like fashion. I'll admit, I haven't been feeling very "Christ-like" lately. The weeks have just zoomed by in my life these past few months without much time devoted to prayer or Bible reading. I have become convicted recently that my child doesn't stand a chance against the powers of this world if I'm not praying for him. Speaking God's word and truth over him. Daily.

Every day after Colton's second feeding and changing, I read to him a little bit. He has a sizeable collection of books by now, including Curious George and The Eric Carle trilogy (author of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar"). He even has a "My Adventures with Winnie the Pooh" book with him written in as one of the characters. Noticeably missing from this collection however, is a Bible. This struck me the other day, and I made it a point to get one for him (in a child's version).

When we showed up at Gregg's parents' house for Sunday dinner this weekend, my MIL had a gift for Colton as she frequently does. With some "help" from his cousin Kate, Coltie opened the package revealing... a picture Bible! I'm so glad I can start to introduce my son to Bible stories, even at this tender young age. He needs a firm foundation in his early years, because as he grows older there will be so many other things vying for his time and attention.

I've recently picked up "When Mothers Pray (God Listens)" by Cheri Fuller. I received it as a gift back in September, and it's been sitting in the small basket placed beside the glider ever since. Of all the countless things I can teach my child, I want the most important thing to be that he was created for a relationship with the God of this universe. I have to think about the kind of legacy I want to leave for my children. Is it the one of worry and anxiety my mother passed on to me? I don't think so.

An Afternoon Out

This weekend, Gregg and I went out alone for the first time together since Colton was born. Gregg's company sponsored an employee outing to a men's college basketball game, and we dropped Colton off at my in-law's on our way. Before the game which was held at the newly built Prudential Center, home to the NJ Devils, we enjoyed a nice buffet lunch in a private VIP area. Not only did they provide lunch and the free tickets, they also gave each employee $20 to spend at the concession stand.

Just before 2pm we made our way down to our seats, only a few rows away from the court. I didn't pay much attention to the game, except for the last several minutes of the second half. It actually got pretty exciting towards the end, and Seton Hall ended up beating Georgetown 65 to 60. Even though I wanted to, I refrained from checking in on Colton until we got back to the car. He did really well the whole afternoon, which I was very happy about. I had been a little concerned because lately he doesn't want to be with anyone other than me or Gregg. My MIL said that he finished everything she gave him to eat, took two naps, and hardly cried. When we arrived at their house, I took him from my FIL right away and showered him with lots of kisses.

Even though I missed my Coltie, I'm really glad Gregg and I could enjoy a day out. We needed to spend some time alone and reconnect as a couple, without the baby's screams interrupting our conversations. I'm also glad I was able to meet so many of my husband's co-workers. He comes home every night and tells me all about his day and who did what, and it's nice to put faces to names. I also feel a little more included in his "world" now. Since I started staying home full-time, I've felt somewhat disconnected from the rest of the working population.

Gregg is really happy with this new job, and after meeting the people he works with, including the VP and president of the company, I feel even more confident that this is a great place for him. The employee event they put on yesterday was so different than either of us are used to. We're familiar with the (sorry) cheapness of the two churches Gregg has recently worked for, who would hesitate to spend money on a new box of pens. Okay, I'm exaggerating of course. But the difference is quite staggering. At both Covenant and King Street, my husband had to share office space with another staff member. The fact that he might actually need his own office to do his job efficiently was an afterthought. Where he works now, they are completely redoing his office- they've cleaned the carpet, painted, and ordered new furniture. He was even asked what kind of artwork he wants hung up on the walls. Gregg finally feels valued and respected as an employee with a company who desires to do things the right way.

In Colton news, my little boy has become very interested in exploring the world around him. He stares at the dog while she's gnawing on a chew toy and then follows her with his eyes when she walks away. He gets all happy when she comes up close to him. He must think she's a giant stuffed animal. Colton also gets excited when the music starts playing on the car tray attached to his walker. He hasn't quite caught onto the fact that he can make the music go by pressing different buttons yet. He'll flail his arms and legs as if trying to dance and shriek very loudly. It's so cute (and ear piercing!)

He also likes when I sing to him, and it's not because I have such an incredible singing voice. Whether it's an old nursery rhyme or the latest pop song, he gets a kick out of my attempts to perform for him. I've usually found that whenever he's crying about something, a rendition or two of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" can distract him long enough for me to finish changing his diaper or preparing his bottle.

Here are some pictures (of course!) of Colton's daily activities:


Keeping a watchful eye on Tess


He fell asleep playing with a toy... it looks like he's praying here!


My little cutie- nice drool, huh? Don't worry, he usually does wear a bib.

Weekend Recap, or Just Another Lame Post Title

Gregg and I actually had our first real weekend together in a long time. By that I mean, it was like an actual weekend because it was a break for Gregg from work. He finished up his first week at the new job and is thrilled with it. I am so happy for him.

Our anniversary was pretty low key. We went to my in-laws' as planned for Sunday dinner and they had a cake and cards for us. Gregg is sick with a cold (he got it from me and Colton right before he left for Michigan) so he didn't feel up to celebrating much. We did get Colton off to bed early and were able to spend some alone time before falling asleep around 9:30! Wow, what party poopers. The day before we ventured out in the snow to the mall and had lunch at Panera. Not one of our more brilliant ideas, but we thought we could stay ahead of the weather. However, on our way home we started sliding on the road. Thankfully we didn't end up on the other side of the highway or in the trees somewhere.

Except for the snow and it being freezing, it was nice to get out of the house. We only have one car now so while Gregg's at work, I am stuck without a vehicle. We sold our other van, the one that was in the accident last February, before we moved back to New Jersey. It surprisingly held up pretty well all that time without any repairs. Anyway, I don't really have any burning desire to go out in this frigid weather with a baby anyhow. Our plan is to get a second car eventually with the money we're saving on rent.

Well, that was our extremely exciting weekend. You're all jealous, aren't you?? More pictures and a meme to follow...

Six Years and Counting

Gregg came home from his trip Wednesday night, a little later than expected because of the icy conditions here in Northern NJ. I was so glad to see him again. I hate when he goes away, but the reunion is always oh, so sweet. Gregg didn't have to be into the office until 1oam the next day, which was nice. He had a very good first day at work. I really hope this job is everything he wanted. He's had some bad experiences the past few years, and it made me wonder if he was ever going to get a break.

It was around this time last year that everything started to go south at King Street Church. They wanted my husband to put in more hours and work harder, meanwhile he was already working over 50 hours a week with no overtime, busting his butt and hardly getting to see me. How could he possibly give more than he was already giving? The day he returned to work after our Christmas vacation, the senior pastor gave him an ultimatum: do better and work more or turn in your resignation. There was really no choice at that point. Having just found out we were expecting Colton, there was no way Gregg could continue working all those hours and sacrificing family time. It was a major disappointment. The worship pastor he worked directly under threw him under the bus big time. He knew it, everyone knew it. But instead of making a big stink, Gregg just quietly walked away.

He took a pay cut to go work for a "friend" next just so he'd have something. But this so-called friend was running his business into the ground and losing money- fast. Towards the end he didn't have enough to even make payroll. More empty promises, more disappointment, more worrying about finances.

But- I'm not going to dwell on the past. What's done is done, and Gregg now has a fabulous job and we're back where we should be. Our anniversary is this Sunday. Six years, three moves, and one child later here we are. Our marriage has been tested over and over with the curve balls life has thrown us. We've grown apart, grown closer, fought, laughed, cried, and prayed.

I've been thinking lately how our relationship has changed now that we're parents. There's less time for romance and meaningful conversations. Activities and outings all revolve around Colton's schedule. We can't be as spontaneous as we used to be. During the time Gregg was in Michigan, we couldn't really talk until after Colton was down for the night because he'd start to scream in the middle of our phone call, and I'd have to go take care of whatever he wanted. We're no longer just husband and wife; we're also Mommy and Daddy.

I'm trying to find that balance between being a mom and being a wife. Meeting Colton's needs and Gregg's needs, while also giving myself some time in between is not easy. I'll be honest, I do miss it being just the two of us. I've resolved to put more effort into our relationship and plan more "alone time" so our marriage stays fun and fresh.

Since we haven't seen very much of each other this past week, I'm so glad it's the weekend and Gregg will be home with me and Colton for the next two days. We don't have anything fancy planned for Sunday. We'll go to my in-laws' after church like we usually do and enjoy a nice dinner. Maybe put Colton to bed early. So we can watch our wedding video and ponder the true meaning of marriage, of course. Why, what were YOU thinking?

No post would be complete without some pictures of our sweet little boy. Here you go:















Meeting Pooh Bear for the first time.
















Hmmm, I wonder what he tastes like.
















Mom, do I really need to eat this stuff??
















All gone! I got more of it on my face than in my mouth, hee hee.

A Little of This and That

Well, it's just the two of us. Okay, three if you count the dog. Gregg left at 5:30 this morning to catch his flight to Michigan for his new job, and he'll be back sometime Wednesday night. We've been home together now for over a month, so it's weird not to have him here with me. I think with all that togetherness, though, we were kinda getting on each other's nerves.

I know my husband is excited to start work, and I'm relieved that we'll have a steady income again. I still hate when he goes away overnight. I don't like being all alone at night in an empty house and sleeping by myself. But it's what we need to do, in order for Gregg to jump start his new career. And it's only two nights.

I had plenty to keep myself busy today, too. I did two loads of laundry, unpacked a few more boxes, dusted, and took care of Colton which always takes up a fair amount of time. It's not hard to take care of him; it's just so time consuming with all the feedings, diaper changes, and "general maintenance".

Now that I'm a SAHM, I need to make sure I still do stuff for myself once in a while. I'm so glad Gregg got me the Gilmore Girls Season 1 boxed set for Christmas so I can indulge in a little carefree, girlyness. The Gilmore Girls is one of my all time favorite shows. I started watching it in college when it first aired and have enjoyed watching the unfolding drama of Lorelai and Rory. I watched the first five episodes over the weekend. There are 21 in total!

I really am enjoying staying home with my son. I don't miss working outside the home. It just gets a bit lonely sometimes. Colton continues to be a pretty easy baby. He still sleeps through the night with no problem and is usually content to just sit in his bouncer or walker with a toy while I'm folding laundry or eating a meal. He only gets really cranky when he's hungry or when I put him down and he still wants to be held.

Colton now grabs EVERYTHING and tries to put it into his mouth. It's so funny watching him try to fit the entire Lamaze cube toy in his tiny little mouth. Then he gets frustrated, like why aren't you going in?? He'll grab a whole fistful of my hair several times a day, which is making me seriously consider cutting it all off. Now I know why most moms have short hair! He will also grab the tabs on his diaper while I'm changing him. It's cute, but it makes changing sessions more difficult because I have to pry one side of the diaper out of his hand and quick fasten it before he grabs ahold again.

He's started making that happy baby squeal, seemingly to nothing in particular, and usually when he is entertaining himself in the crib or bouncy seat. It's so precious to hear. He has also begun doing the tantrum-y cry, which is not so precious. A few times a day, he makes farty noises with his lips and it is hysterical to listen to. He started doing it during Sunday dinner at Gregg's parents and entertained us all!

We've started him on solids and so far, he seems to like the baby food he's tried. The first few times Colton made a face like he just tasted a lemon, but he got used to it pretty quickly. I was surprised when he actually ate an entire jar of sweet potatoes with no protesting. It made his poop orange, though. I can't wait until he has peas for the first time. :)

I've had to put more clothes away that he can't fit into anymore. Colton's already into size 3 diapers and wearing 6-9 month clothes. There are still some 3-6 month outfits that he hasn't outgrown yet. I don't understand the way they size different clothes, because he fits into some outfits in his age range no problem but others are either really tight or too short on him. Anyway, his hair is finally growing! After he lost his newborn hair, it took forever to come back in. It's now a lot lighter than it was when he was born. I wonder if he'll be a blondie like I was as a baby. He still has those beautiful blue eyes, and I hope they stay that way a little longer.

Gotta go get ready for bed... I mean, I have to go get Colton ready for bed now.

A Break From Your Regularly Scheduled Reading

I feel the need to break from the norm of shiny happy posts about the pregnancy and baby, and be real about what's going on underneath the surface of what seems like a blissfully perfect life. Life is still good, just complicated. I don't know why I didn't post about it before. I guess I was trying to sugarcoat a bad situation, so I just glossed over it as if it never happened. And then things went back to normal, so I just didn't feel the need to dredge it up and put it out there in the blogisphere.

But- Right after the new year, Gregg was basically forced out of his position as Technical Director at King Street Church. It's a long story that doesn't necessitate all the details being rehashed at this point, but suffice it to say that we both felt pretty betrayed by what happened. We stopped attending church there, and Gregg quickly found another job elsewhere with a small marketing company. We've been looking for a church to go to since the middle of January. With Chambersburg located in, essentially, the Bible belt of the Mid-Atlantic, we thought we'd have very little trouble finding a new church home. We were wrong.

Every Sunday, we ventured out to try almost every different type of congregation imaginable. But something wasn't clicking. It was either too liberal, or too conservative, or too... something. I thought maybe at one point we were just being too picky! With a baby coming, we know we want to be connected to a church family and find spiritual encouragement. It seems like the more we look, the more discouraged we become. I feel lost, like we had been a part of something and then were kicked out. We had after all, moved from Florida just for Gregg's job at King Street. We don't even really like the town of Chambersburg, nor the surrounding area.

But it's our home, sort of. The whole church search and everything makes me wonder sometimes why we came here. And if we could have avoided uprooting the life we had down in FL. So many questions that are unanswered. We seemed to be heading in one direction, then got thrown off the track. I really want to get back on track again, and create some sort of stability for the family we're growing. If it at all felt like home to us once, it certainly doesn't anymore.

There's Really A Baby In There!

This morning was my first prenatal visit. We got to the doctor's office right at 8:15, the scheduled time. Shortly after filling out some information about the pregnancy, I was called back to give a urine sample in essentially, a Dixie cup. Gregg and I waited a little while in the exam room for the nurse to come in and take my weight & blood pressure. My BP was good and I've gained a couple of pounds since I saw our PCP three weeks ago. The nurse confirmed the date of my last period, then told me to strip from the waist down so the doctor could do an internal exam.

Dr. Myers came in a short while later and briefly went over my current medical history. Then she said she was going to do an ultrasound! I was really surprised. I thought I wouldn't have one until my next visit. The doctor did a quick pelvic exam first and asked Gregg to stand by my side so that he could see the screen. Baby B appeared right away! It was kind of hard to tell what we were looking at, but the doctor said everything looked great and that he or she is measuring at eight weeks so my due date of August 21 is right on schedule.

Then she pointed out the tiny flutter of the heart. It was incredible. Gregg said out loud, "That's amazing." The doctor told us we'd have our first baby album picture! She printed out the first photo she took and gave it to me. She continued viewing... I guess the uterus from several different angles to look for different things, like if there was another baby somewhere in there (there isn't!) When she was finished, she said I should come back in three weeks for a complete medical history and physical exam. I will be having visits every four weeks from now on, until my third trimester when they'll become more frequent.

The doctor answered some questions for me next, such as to how to get rid of constipation (yes I know, TMI!), before leaving. I made another appointment for February 1, which will put me at 11 weeks. Gregg and I left the medical center in a daze. It was so wonderful to actually see our baby, but surreal at the same time. It was very reassuring seeing the heartbeat and knowing that Baby B is developing properly. Wow! I'm still amazed.

We're going out for dinner tonight to celebrate our wedding anniversary, and also our little miracle! Five years of livin' our love song- I can't believe we've been married that long already. It's been both a wonderful and difficult journey. God has truly blessed us abundantly.

2 More Sleeps Until Christmas

So Christmas is just around the corner, and I've had my fill of baking, shopping and wrapping to last me until next year. The counter is loaded with plates of cookies, the gifts are wrapped and stashed in the closet, waiting to be taken with us to NJ.

It's been a good, but busy, week filled with Christmas festivities. I went and saw the church's musical on Sunday afternoon, which was pretty good. I stayed afterwards for the dinner that was provided for the cast and choir, then went home for a few hours. I came back around 10 to pick up Gregg. I was so glad the long week of rehearsals and lonely nights was finally over, and we could actually see each other for more than an hour each night.

Now I'm looking forward to spending time with family for a few days. I've got about five loads of laundry going so that we have clean clothes to go away with. Tomorrow I'm packing, attending the 8 o'clock Christmas Eve service, then we'll probably go out to eat at Denny's which will be the only place open at that time, and we're loading up the car the next morning with presents, cookies and Tess. I'm so ready to slow down and just enjoy Christmas.

Have a very Merry Christmas with your loved ones this season and a happy & healthy New Year!

Confessions of a Ministry Widow, Part II

Shortly after nine last night, Gregg called me to come pick him up. It had just started to pour down big, thick icy rain drops so it took me almost half an hour to get to the church when normally it takes under ten minutes. I had to wait for windshield to defrost and then I drove 20 miles an hour so as not to send the car into a tail spin. My wheels locked up a few times as I was making turns, but I made it safely. By the time I got to King Street, everyone had gone home and there was Gregg standing outside looking small and cold. I let him drive back home, of course. He said that the show was very successful, standing room only.

This morning at 7:00 when I went to walk the dog, there was a sheet of ice over everything. It looked as though the Ice Man had touched everything with his cold, bony fingers and turned the neighborhood into one giant ice skating rink. I decided to skip church. Gregg was not as fortunate. They didn't cancel services, so he still had to go in. As far as I know, the two productions of the Christmas play are still on for today. The weather is calling for a mix of rain and snow with wind gusts of up to 40 mph. Yay.

I've been thinking about just how much work goes into these stupid productions. Okay, so they're not stupid. But it's hard to fully appreciate them when you hardly get to see your hubby because he's working morning, noon and night for them. All those people who come to simply enjoy the musical for two hours, then get to go home afterwards, I kind of envy them. They have no idea all the time that goes into one of these things.

Sorry for the rant. I've been PMSing like crazy all week and Aunt Flo is taking her sweet time getting here. Like I said before, I can't wait for this weekend to be over!

Confessions of a Ministry Widow

'Tis the season when church sees more of my husband than I do. Gregg was setting up tech equipment and running sound at rehearsals for the Christmas musical/concert/play during most of last week. That meant a lot of nights of fast food and me sitting home alone with cable tv and the dog. The actual production is tonight and tomorrow. I'm planning on going to the 3 o'clock show Sunday. We both can't wait until this week is over.

It hasn't been all bad, though. We did get to spend some time together. Last Friday night, we went to dinner at TGIFriday's and stopped downtown afterwards to look at everything all lit up. There were carolers, a brass band and the stores were even open past 5! Chambersburg doesn't exactly have the most happening night life, if you couldn't tell. It was very festive and Christmas-y, but really really cold so after ducking into a store or two to get warm, we headed home.

Sunday we hung out with another couple from church, Ryan & Anita, at their house. I've nicknamed Gregg and Ryan the "tech twins". We watched the Steelers game and had chili and hamburgers. Then on Monday night, we rushed off to meet our small group for dinner at Ruby Tuesday's and went to Starbucks afterwards. Mmmm, a dreamy dish of parmesan chicken and pasta, topped off with a Peppermint Mocha. I'm seriously going to put on ten pounds by the end of this month.

Today after straigthening up the house and doing laundry, I entertained myself by elfing different members of my family. It was hysterical! The first one I did one of my sister Val and her fiance Bill was especially hilarious because Bill's head was way too big for the little elf hat. If you want a good laugh, go to http://www.elfyourself.com/.

This morning, we stopped at Walmart for a few things before Gregg went over to the church. It was a madhouse. Lines out the wazoo, crowded aisles, people playing bumper carts. Everyone was in the holiday spirit, too, of course. Yeah. There's nothing like last minute shopping the week before Christmas.

I'm happy to say that our tree is now complete. Yesterday, Gregg's parents stopped through on their way down to North Carolina to visit the grandkids and dropped off a small gift bag. He waited until I got home to open it- inside were our annual engraved ornaments. Tess even got her very own one too, an adorable little doggie with her name and the year on it.

So my big plans this evening pretty much include eating dinner alone and watching cheesy Christmas movies on ABC Family. One more day until I get my husband back. There was one day last week where I only saw him for about two hours. Two hours. I mean, I get that this is the holidays and all, but the madness needs to end!

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

Could it really have been more than a month since I've posted anything? Where did October go? The end of November is almost here now- only four more weeks until Christmas!!

Last month was exceptionally busy. Gregg worked three out of four weekends for various events taking place at the church, and I helped him out where I could. My sister and her fiance came to visit the last Saturday of October and the four of us went out for dinner. They brought their dog, Sophie, with them and she was introduced to Tess. The two "cousins" had a ball playing together and pinning each other down while us humans chatted and sipped hot chocolate back at our place. My sister's wedding plans are in full swing. Here is the dress I decided on wearing:

The actual color will be more blueish. Valerie is sending me a swatch of material so that the dress can be made in the exact shade of teal she wants. I've asked my mother-in-law to make it for me and she said she'll start "production" in January. She is a great seamstress. She made all of the bridesmaid dresses for my wedding five years ago, and only had three months to do it!

Work has gotten busier recently. Two more clients were added to my caseload, which puts me at a total of 8. A few weeks ago, I downloaded software (with Gregg's help!) to access my agency's metaframe server so that I can work from home when I want. It's so convenient. I can sit in my living room and type progress notes, schedule appointments and write emails.

I'm really enjoying my Ladies Bible Study every Monday night. We are almost at the end of a DVD/book series called Discovering God's Will by Andy Stanley, which is very thought provoking. I am blessed to have made some really good friends out of this group. It's great having women that pray for me and share my struggles each week. We are planning on getting together with our husbands one evening soon for coffee & dessert.

Between working, church and every day responsibilities life is hectic. I was so ready for a break this weekend. Gregg and I decided not to travel up to NJ for Thanksgiving. I'm glad we stayed home and spent the entire time by ourselves with nowhere to go and no plans, except buying a Christmas tree, which we did on Friday. On Thursday, we went to Cracker Barrel and got two turkey dinners, slices of pie and drinks for only $8.99 each. We came home with a box teaming with leftovers and spent the rest of the night looking for gifts online and relaxing in front of the tv.

On Friday morning I ran out to do a home visit for a kid that lives close to our house, and then Gregg & I went in search of the perfect tree. Lowe's yielded little possibilities. The trees were overpriced and didn't look... quite right. We looked at ones in a couple of lots and weren't impressed with those trees either. We spotted a nicely painted sign advertising Christmas Trees on a road half a mile off the highway, so we pulled off and checked them out. It was a small gathering of trees (maybe 100) but the prices were very reasonable and we found our tree right away. Gregg tied it to the roof racks of our X-Terra and we let it settle in its stand. We got lazy once we came home and decided to just decorate it on Saturday instead. The next day we drug the Christmas decorations and ornaments out of the closet. After Gregg strung the lights and we both hung ornaments, I put the tree skirt around the base and stepped back to admire our work. Tess decided it would be fun at that moment to run around the tree, shaking all of the ornaments and making pine needles fly in every direction. Oy. We don't need a train; we've got a dog!

I just love Christmastime. That warm fuzzy feeling you get during this season when it's chilly outside and you're bundled up inside, snuggling together under a blanket with the one you love. Our living room is so homey now with the tree by the window. I love to sit in the dark with it all lit up. I'm so happy we're only four hours away from our families, too, and can spend the Holidays with them this year. Christmas is coming soon, and then three weeks later will be our anniversary! It is the most wonderful time of the year. :)