Sunday, July 22, 2007

Getting Back to Normal

A recap of this past weekend:

I had a great time with my sister, but I am SO glad that Gregg is home. It was really hard not having him around, tougher than every other time he's gone away. The conference that he went to kept him ridiculously busy every day, so that he barely had time to call me. When he called again later Wednesday night, he was still at one of the workshops or trainings and didn't know when it was going to be over. He had trouble hearing me over the noise going on in the background. On Thursday I came home from work, had a quick dinner, folded laundry and packed for my sister's, then went to watch tv around 8. I ended up falling asleep waiting for Gregg to call and was woken up by the sound of my cell phone ringing at 10:45. I was totally out of it, so we didn't really get to have much of a conversation which was a disappointment.

On Friday I left work a little bit after 1, and ended up getting to Valerie's at 2:30. We hung out for a while at her apartment while we waited for her fiance to get home from work so that we could go out to dinner. We played with her puppy and sat outside on the deck talking. She also showed me pictures from the engagement party Bill's family had for them last month. Shortly after Bill arrived home, we headed out to the Inner Harbor and stopped in Baltimore's Little Italy section to eat. We ordered an appetizer of calamari and two dishes to share (they treated me!)

Bill had free passes to this comedy club downtown, so we made our way there after dinner. I had never actually been to a comedy show before, but since I love watching Bananas and Last Comic Standing I was excited. I have to admit, though, that I was disappointed. The comics were funny but crass, dropping the f-bomb nearly every other word. The place was also really loud and crowded. After it was over, we had dessert at an Italian pastry shop on the way back to the parking garage. By this time it was after 11, and I still had not heard from Gregg all day. I started feeling anxious so I decided to call him when we got back to the car, almost an hour later.

He was still out with the people from King Street who were at the conference with him, but because of the time difference it was only 11pm there. They were having dessert somewhere after being at a praise and worship concert with freaking Avalon and Sonic Flood! Gregg said that he got to meet them personally after the concert. I was like no way, I am so jealous. But mostly, it just made me feel worse that he was so far away and that I missed out on this amazing time of worship with my husband. I missed him even more after we got off the phone.

I was exhausted when we got back to Val and Bill's apartment. It doesn't help that I'm not used to staying up past midnight. After showering and eating breakfast the next morning, I packed my stuff and got ready to leave. Before we headed downstairs Val gave me my birthday present, a really cute short sleeved sweater. They helped me bring my suitcase down to the car so that I could leave right after we took a quick tour of the high school where she works. I was anxious to get home and see Gregg, who called on our way back to say that his plane had landed. I said good-bye to my sister and Bill in the parking lot, jumped in the car and headed home.

I got back to the house a little less than two hours later, and it felt big and empty. I decided to unpack and get something to eat while I waited for Gregg to come home. At 2:30, I called him to ask where he was figuring he had to have been right behind me. He said that they had stopped for lunch somewhere and would be back within the hour. I hung up the phone and lost it. I sat at the kitchen table sobbing and couldn't stop. The stress of being apart from him for the past four days, barely getting to talk and having choppy conversations over our cell phones finally caught up to me.

I started feeling overwhelmed with life- the stress of my job, feeling like I have no friends here in Chambersburg, missing our house in Florida. I cried for the next hour before Gregg finally came home. When I heard the garage door closing, I greeted my husband in the hallway and fell into his arms. We both hugged each other tightly, not wanting to let go. I cried some more.

I told him what an emotionally taxing few days it had been with him away, and confessed some of what I was feeling. We spent the next hour talking it all out, and he told me more about the conference while I shared about the time I spent at my sister's. I told him I never wanted him to go away ever again, which I know is impractical. I just didn't expect it to hit me that hard, though. That time apart made me realize that, as glad as I am we moved here, this transition continues to be difficult for me. We had to literally interrupt the flow of our normal lives back in April to pack up and move. Then I had to adjust to living in a whole new area, get used to a new church, find a new job, make new friends, give up our dog. Those are things you don't just bounce back from right away, but I thought I was handling it pretty well. How many times can I start over in my life??

I look around and everything reminds me that I'm in transition. The myriad of boxes that beg to be unpacked, a house full of pictures of people who aren't in my family, the Florida license plate on my car. I just want to feel settled. I think it will really help once we move out of here into the townhouse, being able to completely unpack our stuff, having Tess back. Then we can start to return to some sense of normalcy.


amy said...

Im glad hes back. Sounds like you have both been busy. I have never been to a comedy club...May have to try it though

audreybreier said...

I'm glad Gregg is back. Lately, Nathan has been having to travel for his job (he's been having to go out of town a few days every week) and it's awful when he's gone!

I hope things are able to get settled for you guys soon so you can feel like you have a normal, settled life!

Angelarae said...

I'm glad to hear Gregg is back. It's just awful when DH has to travel a lot for his job.

I know how much the "transition" feeling sucks. I hope you're able to get settled and back to a normal life soon! :-)