2 Weeks

Colton turns two weeks today! I was comparing pictures I took of him just a few days ago with ones from yesterday, and he already looks different. For some reason, it seems like his birth date was a really long time ago. Hard to believe that only two weeks have passed.

I'm almost completely back to feeling like my normal self after the C-section. My incision is healing very nicely, and the scar is slowly but surely disappearing. The other day I dared to weigh myself, and discovered that so far I've lost twenty of the forty pounds I gained while pregnant. Yay! I know I have some work to do to lose the other twenty, but I'll get there eventually.

The weather has been really nice the past couple of days. We were able to actually turn off the A/C and open some windows. When it gets to the end of August, I always start yearning for fall, my favorite season. I'm looking forward to pushing Colton along in his stroller in the cool, crisp weather. Gregg's mother already volunteered to make him his first Halloween costume.

Here are a few more pictures:

Enjoying some time with Daddy

Napping in his dinosaur onesie that Aunt Val gave him

My New Job as Mommy

You know how they say "everything changes with a baby"? Boy, were they ever right.

We are now on Colton time. He pretty much determines when we do things, according to his schedule. The other day, Gregg & I were getting ready to head out the door. I had prepared the baby's bottles and packed the diaper bag, being careful not to overlook anything. I was feeling pretty confident in my new found mom abilities, in fact. I decided to do one last diaper change before we left. I took the old diaper off, and as I was about to slide the new one under his bottom, the "sprinkler" started spraying! The stream went up and over the changing table, getting Colton's hair, face, and clothes wet. I started laughing when I realized what happened. But then I became annoyed. I had to change his entire outfit and wipe down the changing table before we could leave, which set us back about 30 minutes. Oh well, such is life with baby.

Colton seems to grow a little bit more every day. He already outgrew one of his pajamas, and a couple of the t-shirts he got in the hospital. He is now chugging down 3.5 oz per feeding. My little boy also graduated from the cradle in our room to the crib in the nursery. Last night Gregg put him down in there, and he went right to sleep! He looks so tiny in it.

I'm definitely getting a lot of "on the job training" as a new mother. Colton teaches me something new every day. I've probably never felt more incompetent, and then more proud when I actually get the hang of something. It seems like a Herculean feat to dress him sometimes. Especially when he's screaming up a storm, and you're trying ever so gingerly not to break off appendages while you're putting his little arms and feet into an outfit. He sure makes life interesting!

More Pictures

I can't resist posting pics of my sweet little boy!



Here he is sleeping in his swing














And sleeping in the pack 'n play














And sleeping, again, in his cradle













Exciting, huh?

Update!

I thought I'd take a moment to post a quick update. Colton is doing really well, starting to fill out his newborn clothes now. He's up to 3 oz of formula per feeding, too. He continues to be very content and only cries when he is hungry. I get up to feed him at least twice during the night, and then he goes right back down after being changed.

His mama is doing fine as well. Yesterday was my best day so far. I was able to get around with little discomfort, and emotions wise I felt pretty balanced. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this mom thing.

I'm in that awkward, in between stage where I still don't fit into many of my pre-pregnancy clothes, but all my maternity outfits are too big. I had been feeling really unattractive, due to my now flabby tummy, scar, and ew, stretch marks. My husband is so sweet though. He tells me that I'm beautiful and called my incision my "mommy scar", a sign that I've bore him our son. He also said that I "cooked one great baby".

I still can't believe I'm a mother. It's all so surreal and amazing. I keep thinking Colton is too good to be true, and all of a sudden he's going to be up ten times a night screaming at the top of his lungs. So far we've been able to take him out with us to Target, out for lunch, and out for ice cream, and each trip he just slept the whole time. He has definitely made the transition to mommyhood a relatively easy one for me.

Life With Baby

Colton Patrick is one week old today! I can't believe a whole week has gone by since his birth. He is a great baby, very content most of the time. He'll get up about twice during the night for a feeding and sleeps a lot during the day. He's already been to the pediatrician, and is almost back to his original birth weight.

Even though our son is relatively easy going, Gregg and I have quickly found that the world now revolves around him. Meals get put on hold, sleep is disturbed, and our time is consumed by meeting the many needs of this tiny new being.

I thought before any more time goes by, I should post the birth story. So here goes:

I was originally scheduled to arrive at the hospital for my planned C-section at 12:15pm last Thursday, but they moved the time up to 11:30am much to mine & Gregg's delight. We were so anxious that morning that we got there at 11, and my room was already ready and waiting. I had two wonderful nurses attending to me, who started me on an IV and went over a whole bunch of paperwork. A while later, the anesthesiologist and some of surgical team met with me. I started feeling really nervous and also dizzy at this point, because I hadn't eaten anything since 7pm the night before (I had to fast from midnight on) and I was being pumped full of antibiotics.

By 1:00, they were ready for me to go to OR. The whole next hour was kind of a blur. They gave me the spinal which numbed me from the chest down, and inserted a catheter. It seemed like the spinal took effect immediately. After they prepped me and put the shield up, Gregg was allowed in the room, wearing his scrubs. He sat by my side holding my hand and rubbing my shoulder the entire time.

I don't remember a whole lot of what happened afterwards. It seemed like the procedure was over in a matter of minutes. I heard the doctor say something about the fact that the baby was trying to squirm away from her, then felt a lot of pressure as they lifted him out. He started crying right away, very loudly. When I heard him scream, I felt such a wave of emotion and began crying myself. The doctor showed him to me briefly before he got cleaned up and weighed. Gregg went back to the room with the baby while I was stitched up. After they moved me from the operating table to the hospital bed and wheeled me back, I finally got to hold my son for the first time. I remember thinking he was so perfect and beautiful.

I spent about two hours in recovery before any visitors were allowed back. Gregg's parents, my mom, and my sister were eagerly awaiting their chance to see the baby. The next several hours were pretty difficult, as the spinal wore off and I began feeling the pain from the surgery. The nurses gave me Morphine, which made me really nauseous. I couldn't even keep ice water down. I had to stay in bed until the next morning, and didn't get much sleep that night with nurses coming in and out of the room every so often to check on me and the baby. They had me up to go to the bathroom around 9am and I was able to eat solid foods by that afternoon. My appetite returned by that evening and I was able to enjoy the celebratory dinner staff brought in for me and Gregg. Late the next day, I was discharged from the hospital.

I'm still healing from the Cesarean, but every day it gets easier to move around. For several days after the birth, Gregg took care of Colton. I felt pretty guilty, as well as left out, that I couldn't do anything other than just hold my baby. Gregg has been absolutely wonderful, though, reassuring me that my main priority is to get better. He is an amazing father. He just adores our son and is so good with him.

I've had a touch of the baby blues since Colton was born, which hasn't made my recovery any easier. I gave breastfeeding a fair try, but after a few days decided it wasn't for me. That was a really hard decision to make, but I realized that I am no less Colton's mother because I choose to bottle feed him. The other thing that was difficult at first was coming to terms with the scar left behind from the surgery. I was very fortunate to have such a wonderful doctor perform my C-section. She used dissolvable stitches so I don't have to go back and have them taken out, thankfully. I was still horrified seeing the scar for the first time. I know that eventually it will fade, and I'll return to my pre-pregnancy weight & shape.

This has been one long emotional roller coaster of a week. Every day gets a little easier, though. I have a beautiful, healthy baby and proud, devoted husband for which I am very grateful.

Here are some pictures!

Colton Patrick Boonstra

Colton Patrick arrived at 1:33pm. He weighed 6 lbs 14 oz. He is 20.5 inches long. Mommy and Baby are doing great!

38w5d

These last few days have sort of blended together. It's so nice being off from work, but at the same time I keep forgetting what day it is! Since Saturday I've really enjoyed relaxing, doing some last minute baby shopping (I told Gregg we should invest stock in Target), and preparing for the final details of Bubba's arrival.

This morning I met up with a couple of friends for breakfast at Cracker Barrel. These are two of the most gracious and kind hearted women I know, and I am so blessed to have them in my life. They sat and talked with me excitedly over eggs, pancakes, and bacon about baby details and reassured me of concerns I have regarding the C-section I'm about to have. They offered to cook meals for us & bring them over once the baby is born, and can't wait to come visit me in the hospital.

After breakfast, I got my blood work done at Summit Health (another place we should also invest stock in because I'm there so much) and scheduled my phone interview with the pre-op department. I have to don a fabulous plastic wrist band until the surgery, which I'm guessing lets staff know which arm I've already had blood drawn from. I will definitely be sporting all the latest fashions this week: a shower cap, a hospital gown, and yes even a pee bag. Let's hear it for not having to get up to go to the bathroom for at least 12 hours after the procedure. Whoo hoo.

Anyhow, I am really excited about the birth minus all the icky medical stuff. It's crazy how I get to essentially skip my last week of pregnancy. Not that I'm complaining. As Thursday inches closer, I get really anxious to meet this little person who's taken up residence in my womb for the last nine months and know I'll fall in love with him instantly.

38w4d

This afternoon we had one last prenatal visit before my scheduled C-section on Thursday. Everything with my BP & urine were good, and I gained another two pounds during the week, bringing my total weight gain to a whopping 40 lbs. Our appointment was with one of our favorite nurse midwives, Darlanna. Before meeting with her, the nurse asked me if I had signed any pre-op consent forms and I said no. She asked if I wouldn't mind sticking around after the exam to go over them with the doctor who was scheduled to perform the Cesarean, since she was currently over at the hospital. That was fine with us. I began to wonder though, why Dr. Yerram didn't have me sign anything last time.

When Darlanna entered the exam room, she asked if I thought Bubba had turned. I told her I was pretty sure he hadn't. She mentioned Dr. Yerram had written in my chart that the baby was head first. Gregg and I looked at each other like, what??? We said that Dr. Y. never even checked the baby's position during our visit. All she did was check the heartbeat and give a very brief rundown of how the C-section was going to go. Darlanna felt around my belly and determined that Bubba is still buttocks first. Just to be doubly sure, she brought in the ultrasound machine and confirmed that yep, he's breech alright. Then she went over in detail the entire operation, from start to finish, and had me sign the consent form. She was also more than happy to answer any questions we had.

When she was finished, we met with one of the surgical schedulers who went over some more paperwork and gave me a packet of information outlining how to prepare for the C-section & what to expect at the hospital. I learned I not only have to have blood work done, but a phone interview as well with one of the registration staff from the hospital before Thursday. This is all so they know ahead of time how I might react to the anesthesia. None of this was told to me last week. Before we left the office last Tuesday, there was confusion on the doctor's part about whether I should come in again before the surgery. Then she originally suggested I come in the day before, but there were no appointments available Wednesday so the front desk scheduled me for today.

On the way home as Gregg & I talked about it, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable with having this doctor perform the Cesarean. I already didn't care for her lack of bedside manner, and the fact that she's new to this particular practice and seemed confused about the procedures didn't help. Then there's the obvious detail that she wrote the baby was head down. That's a pretty big mistake to make. I mean, that's the whole reason I'm having a planned C-section!!!

Gregg suggested that if I was this concerned, I should just ask that another doctor perform the operation. I was close to tears, thinking that this would now certainly delay the birth and it would be a big hassle to change docs at the last minute. I was also not looking forward to explaining why I felt uncomfortable with Dr. Y. and imagined trying to be talked out of my decision to switch.

When we got home, I called the office and left a message for the scheduling department. I received a call back within ten minutes and was told they would take care of scheduling me with another doctor for the very same day. No questions asked, no problems. I was so relieved.

I'm glad I followed my gut instinct. I wouldn't have been in the best place emotionally or mentally arriving at the hospital this Thursday. I would probably be worrying about this doctor's competency the entire procedure. I want to be able to completely trust the person into whose hands I'm essentially putting my life and my baby's.

Only two more full days before Bubba arrives!! We finally settled on his name last week. Sorry, but I won't be giving it away until the birth announcement post on the 14th. All I can say is that it begins and ends with a consonant, and contains two vowels, both of which are the same. :)

38w2d

Well, I am officially on maternity leave. I cannot tell you how happy I was to wake up this morning and realize I don't have to deal with any work related stuff for the next several weeks. This last week of work, unfortunately, was rather stressful. One of my clients ran away from her foster home Monday night and it just made the days to follow that much more complicated. But, it's over!

This morning I picked out Bubba's coming home outfit, and got to washing onesies, socks, bibs, and blankets. We're not sure how big he's going to be yet, so I didn't go crazy washing all of the newborn clothes. We can always return stuff and exchange it for bigger sizes.

I really didn't think I'd feel this way towards the end, but after four or five straight weeks of near excruciating back and neck pain, I am so ready to have this baby!! Oh yeah, I've also been enjoying the pain in my hips, legs and feet, and my old friend constipation. I don't know how in the world I managed to work up to almost the last minute of this pregnancy.

It's really beginning to sink in that, in just a short amount of time we'll actually meet our son. By next weekend, he'll be coming home with us and we'll have to figure out what to do with him! I started panicking a little last night, thinking about the fact that I've only ever changed a diaper twice in my life (and that was on a girl), and how will I know what he wants when he cries, what if I can't soothe him, etc. I know I'll be sore after the C-section and it won't be advisable to go up & down stairs for a while, so that has me worried too. Our bedroom, the nursery, and bathroom w/tub are all on the second floor. Oh well, I'm sure we'll bumble our way through the new journey of parenthood, but it will all be okay.

Here are some more belly shots taken weeks 36-38, and a couple of the nursery:

36 Weeks

37 Weeks

38 Weeks

37w5d

This morning we met with the doctor who will be performing the Cesarean next week. Dr. Y., a petite, attractive Indian woman, did not have the bedside manner we're used to with the other doctors and midwives we've seen. She wasn't mean or cold; her professionalism just way overshadowed her ability to relate to me, the patient. I have no doubts about her surgical skills, but I do wish she was a bit more friendly and personable.

Anyway, she told us that they'll call the day before (on the 13th) with the time the C-section is scheduled and mentioned that I will be awake throughout the procedure (I assumed as much). She'll do an ultrasound beforehand to check whether the baby has turned. It's funny; I really, really wanted to have a vaginal birth. I was even going to try to do it without drugs. But now I'm content with the idea of having this C-section, and knowing pretty much right when we'll get to meet our little boy. Only 9 days to go!!!

Today happens to be Tess's birthday. Well, at least this is the anniversary of when we got her so we just say that it's her birthday. She's three. I wonder how old that makes her in dog years. Tess and Bubba will share the same birth month. She's been awfully curious about all the baby gack that's cluttering up the house. She'll go up to the bouncer or swing, and poke her nose at them. She cocks her head funny when the little toys make noise. We're sure she will be a great protective older "sister" when Bubba arrives, but it may take her a while to get used to the wrinkled new being taking up residence in our family.

37w4d

So on Saturday I had another surprise baby shower. You'd think because I just had those other two that I would have caught on to this one, but no. I was completely oblivious again.

That morning Gregg and I spent getting more of the nursery ready, as well as cleaning. I should have thought it odd that my husband wanted to get up so early on a Saturday to clean. While I vacuumed upstairs, he ran out to do an errand. (He really did; this part wasn't a cover). When he came back he told me friends of ours had called and invited us over for lunch. He said he'd tell them we could only stop by for a quick bite, since we had a lot of things to do yet that afternoon. I said okay, and started running the vacuum cleaner downstairs while I assumed he went to call them back.

When we pulled up to their house shortly after noon, I saw my mom's car parked outside. And my only thought at the time was- a Toyota Highlander that looks exactly like my mother's with Jersey plates, now that's weird. Is it the pregnancy, or am I just really that naive?

Not only did my mom come, but my sister as well. Even though she returned from her honeymoon only a few days before and still has an apartment full of wedding gifts to sort through. It was a wonderful surprise. I got more adorable outfits for Bubba to wear, along with toys, and the monitor set which was last on our list to purchase. My mother gave me a Willow Tree statue of a mother and baby, that we placed in the nursery on the window sill by the glider. The cake was made by our friend Theresa, who also hosted the party. It was beautifully decorated green and white, with baby Pooh characters. Afterwards, my mom and sister came over to our place to ooh and aah over the baby's room.

I wasn't even expecting one shower, and I ended up having three. I am so grateful to all of our family and friends for being so thoughtful!!

My last week of work before maternity leave is finally here. I've debriefed my co-workers on the cases that they're taking over for me, scheduled my visits for the week, and now I'm trying to wrap things up the best I can. I seriously cannot wait for this week to be over. Next week I plan to treat myself to a pedicure with the gift certificate Gregg got me for my birthday, go out for lunch with friends, and just relax & enjoy my last few baby-free days!

A Letter to Our Son

To my precious baby boy,

You're almost here!! Your Daddy and I, along with grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends are anxiously awaiting your arrival. It doesn't seem possible that these past nine months have gone by as fast as they did, and now we are counting down days instead of weeks.

It's like I just blinked and it was August already, the month we've been anticipating since we learned you were on your way. Around the middle of December last year amidst the flurry of Christmas preparations, I began feeling just a tad bit strange. A home pregnancy test confirmed my suspicions: we were going to have a very special reason to celebrate that holiday! Your dad cleverly came up with the perfect way to tell our families on Christmas Day. Both grandmothers received as their last gift a small box containing a made-up back order notice, stating that one precious package was still in processing and due to be delivered on August 21. You were the best Christmas gift we could have given them.

Three weeks later on our 5th anniversary, we saw your tiny heartbeat for the first time and received our first picture of you at just 8 weeks old. You appeared as a tiny jelly bean then, but a few weeks later at another doctor's appointment you had already grown hands, feet, arms and legs! We saw you move around for the first time, too. At 14 weeks, we finally got to hear your heartbeat nice and strong.

On a rainy April morning, we had our big ultrasound and learned you were a boy. The girly girl, who can't stand bugs & dirt and has a closet full of pink clothes, found out she was going to have a boy. And I couldn't have been more thrilled. Already we could see your little personality unfolding on the screen. Everything measured perfectly, and we were relieved that you were healthy and developing just as you should.

It looks like you are going to make your grand entrance into the world a whole week early, being that your feet are still pointed downward. That's just fine with us, since we are so excited to meet you. I wonder if you'll have green eyes like mine, or brown like your father's. Whether you'll be an athlete, a musician, an artist, or if you'll tinker with technology like your daddy. Whatever you decide to be, I know that you will fill our lives with great joy. We're looking forward to watching you grow and experiencing life with you.

You are truly a miracle given to us by God, who loves you more than even your dad or I ever could. He created you in His own image, to be special and loved. I pray that you will have an abundant life and make the most of every opportunity. That you'll realize your full potential in God's eyes and never settle for second best.

Everything stands ready for your fast approaching arrival. It won't be long now before we lay eyes on our delayed Christmas gift! I can't wait to hold you in my arms for the first time and welcome you into our family.

Love,
Mom

37 Weeks

Here I am at 37 weeks, considered full-term already. Unbelievable. We are in full-on "get ready for baby" mode. This past weekend, Gregg & I went to Target and bought a few odds and ends that were still needed. We also installed the car seat in the minivan. I sorted through all the gifts we've received and separated them into categories: clothes, changing station, bath stuff, feeding, toys, and blankets. It was a lot of fun, but also a lot of work when you're nine months pregnant. I took advantage of the glider in the corner of the nursery several times. Tuesday night, Gregg helped me actually put everything away in the dresser/changing table and closet.

My birthday on Sunday was nice and relaxing. Gregg made me waffles by request for breakfast, then took me out to T.G.I.Friday's for lunch. I ordered the Chips Ahoy Sundae dessert which was awesome. Later that evening, Gregg finally gave me my present. He was so sweet and got me a gift certificate to a salon so I can pamper myself! Boy, do I need that.

Yesterday my sister sent a link to her professional wedding photos, which I scanned through last night. They came out amazing, but unfortunately I look enormous in 95% of them. The straight-on shots aren't too bad, but in the ones where I'm standing with my family or the wedding party, it appears like my dress expands ten feet in front of me. I know they say the camera adds ten pounds, but in this case I think it added 100!

This morning I had another doctor's appointment. My weight gain has tapered off. I only gained one more pound between this visit and the last one. The doctor took a culture for the Group-B strep test in case I have a vaginal delivery, and checked my cervix for effacement & dilation. It was closed shut and still pretty hard so I don't think I'll be going into labor anytime soon.

She couldn't tell for sure from external palpation (big fancy term for feeling around the outside of my belly) whether Bubba was head first or feet first, so she wheeled in the ultrasound machine to get a more accurate assessment. He is stubbornly still breached. I wasn't really surprised. I had suspected as much since I kept feeling a lot of movement in my lower abdomen, like his feet are pointed downward.

I knew what was coming next. The doctor said they could do one of two things: either turn the baby manually, or schedule a C-section. I told her I wasn't comfortable with trying to turn him, so I opted for the C-section. After I got dressed, she came back in and told me I'm scheduled for August 14. I have another appointment between now and then, so they'll go over the procedure in more detail at that time and check again to see whether Bubba has decided to turn on his own.

I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I feel like I'll be missing out on the real birthing experience. I've never had any type of surgery before, so it kind of freaks me out. A C-section seems so passive and sterile, almost unnatural. On the other hand, I like the idea of knowing when Bubba's delivery date will be instead of waiting to labor on my own, and possibly laboring for hours and then ending up having a Cesarean anyway. And, I'd really rather recover from an operation where they cut my stomach, instead of my... ahem.

So August 14 is the tentative birth date. I'm still reeling from the news that, in just two weeks, I'll be having a baby. It's only one week before than my estimated due date, but for some reason knowing it's on the calendar makes it seem so much earlier. I feel like there's still a hundred and one things to do. I don't know if I've read enough about how to take care of a baby, or if he has enough onesies. If I've made the most of the time Gregg & I have left as just a twosome.

I'm also very excited that our baby boy will be here so soon. The event that we've been planning for and eagerly anticipating since December 18 will be here in just two weeks!!

36w1d

It's the final countdown! I've entered my ninth and last month of pregnancy. Only four more weeks to go. My doctor says if I go into labor now, they'll just let it progress. It's no holds bar at this point.

My aches and pains are growing, right along with my belly. It feels like my back hurts all the time, since I essentially have a watermelon strapped around my waist 24-7. The Braxton-Hicks are increasing in number and frequency, too, becoming more uncomfortable. Sometimes out of nowhere, my belly will just warp when Bubba presses one part of his body right up against me. It's neat, but also kinda freaky.

I'm still Forgetful Jones a lot of the time. I'm actually beginning to think there's some truth to the saying that you lose brain cells while you're pregnant. This morning, I got dressed for work and noticed that my pants felt tighter than usual. I know I'm growing rapidly at this stage, but I really didn't think I could have gained that much weight between the last time I wore this pair (Monday) and today. When I went into the bathroom to finish getting ready, I glanced in the mirror and realized... I had put my pants on backwards! Yeah, I'm not the brightest crayon in the box these days.

It hasn't sunk in yet that I'm thisclose to becoming a mother. That everything's about to change. I'm trying to really treasure these last few weeks of being pregnant before Bubba arrives, because I know I'll miss them. Even despite all the late- third trimester pains. Gregg keeps mentioning how excited he is for our baby to be born, which makes me feel great. I know he'll be a wonderful father. Bubba will be his little prodigy. :)

On another note, I'm so glad it's the weekend!! Another week closer to maternity leave. Sunday will be my birthday, too. The big 29. I don't feel that old, but reality is that 30 is just around the corner. Crazy.

Here's my latest belly shot, taken at 34w6d. I promise more updated ones soon.

Tales of a Pregnant Matron of Honor

Well, I made it. I survived being 35 weeks preggo in the middle of July as my sister's MOH. It was hot. It was humid. But I'm still here to tell about it.

The wedding was really beautiful; very simple yet elegant. My sister looked gorgeous. The dress I wore was amazingly comfortable and fit me great. A lot of people commented to me on how I look "all baby", and a few said I'm going to go early. Yeah, we'll see. Here is the run down of how the weekend went:

It only took us about two hours to get to D.C. on Friday afternoon. We arrived just at check-in time (3pm) and the rehearsal wasn't slated to begin that evening until 6pm, so we went up to our room and relaxed before hailing a cab to the church where we met up with the rest of the wedding party. We did three run-throughs which took the whole hour. Afterwards, my mom, my sister, and myself piled into Rebecca's (one of the bridesmaids) tiny car and sped to the rehearsal dinner site while everyone else walked over. I was pretty worn out by then and didn't really enjoy dinner. The food itself was good, but the restaurant was so loud I could barely hear myself think and my neck & back were killing me.

When Gregg and I got back to the hotel, and we went straight upstairs to the room to get ready for bed. I didn't fall asleep too easily, though. I think I must have woken up about twenty times that night, due to having difficulty finding a comfortable position in bed and hearing the non-stop sirens blaring through the streets below. The hotel was located right smack dab in the middle of everything, which was convenient but also very noisy. It didn't have its own parking garage attached to the building, so who knows where the valets actually put all of the cars. We all got a steeply discounted rate for staying there, but admittedly it was a bit crapulent.

The next day I opted out of the extras before the ceremony, like the bridal brunch and getting my hair done at the salon (which was a four block walk from the hotel). Gregg & I ventured out to find breakfast that morning, thinking we would find a little cafe or something nearby. Ha. The nearest place was two and a half blocks away. I barely made it. The heat was ridiculously oppressive. I spent the rest of the day indoors and relied on Gregg to bring me a sandwich so I'd have something to eat before leaving for the church. I joined up with the girls later in my sister's suite to have my makeup done by Rebecca, then went back to my room to quickly throw on my dress and do something with my hair.

An hour later I was making my grand entrance down the aisle, trying to stay balanced and poised so as not to trip. Humpty Dumpty did not have a great fall, thank goodness. After the ceremony began, I sat in a chair that had been set up for me until it was time for the bride and groom to walk out. I felt slightly foolish, however I reminded myself that it was pretty obvious I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant, and no one would think badly of me. We took a cab over to the reception after pictures and got something to eat at the cocktail hour.

Right before the wedding party was to walk in, the DJ mentioned something about the best man and matron of honor giving their toasts after the first dance. I was not planning on giving on a toast, and hadn't recalled being asked (my sister blamed it on my baby brain), but I thought okay whatever, I'll do it. I have no idea what I said, but everyone told me it was lovely. The rest of the evening was kind of a blur. I couldn't really dance, so I was mostly glued to my chair for the next several hours except for getting up occasionally to take pictures. Gregg and I ended up leaving the reception early and heading straight to bed. Yup, we were the life of the party let me tell ya. We left this morning around 11am, stopping at Waffle House somewhere in Maryland for a late breakfast.

I'm very glad that I was able to participate in the wedding and see my sister get married. I'm also really glad to be home. Being as huge as I am, I just didn't feel "normal". I felt left out in a lot of ways, because I simply couldn't do a lot of the things I'd otherwise do with no problem. I know it meant a lot to Valerie just for me to be there, though.

Now that the wedding is behind me, I can really focus on getting ready for Bubba's arrival. Only three more weeks of work before maternity leave starts. It can't come fast enough. I feel like work has become so cumbersome. I'm trying to wrap up what I can and make sure my charts are in order before transferring all my cases, but instead of winding down, more stuff gets dumped on me that I need to take care of. I'm trying remember to take it one task at a time, and not allow myself to become overwhelmed. 8.8.08 is almost here!!

After a hard day's night:

Baby Shower Surprises

Last Saturday, Gregg and I traveled to New Jersey for what I thought was a bridesmaid dress fitting. The dress fitting was going to be at my mother-in-law's, then we would head over to my mom's for a visit and pick up the changing table she got us. As we pulled up to Gregg's parents' house, I saw about a dozen cars parked outside on the street and asked Gregg, "Is your mom having a party?" Hello!!!

My MIL opened the door and led me into the living room where a group of friends and family were gathered. Relatives of Gregg's, along with my mom, sister, and step-sister were there and my friend Beth who I haven't seen in nearly a year, who's also pregnant and due in October with her third child. I couldn't believe my sister made the trip when she's getting married this weekend. The look of surprise on my face must have been priceless. I really had no idea!

The room was very cutely decorated with baby clothes, hung on a clothesline and draped on pictures, balloons, and blue confetti. I got so many nice things- tons of outfits, bath stuff, toys, changing accessories. The chair I sat in as the guest of honor was actually the glider I had registered for, which Gregg's parents bought us.

I was so overwhelmed with people's generosity. We got two bedding sets and mobiles for the crib by mistake, so we went out that evening to Babies 'R Us and exchanged them for some other stuff we needed. We stayed overnight and had leftovers from the shower with Gregg's extended family the next day. It was quite the game of tetris to play in order to get all of the presents, our suitcase, and yes even the dog, to fit in the back of our minivan.

Somehow, Gregg managed to stack everything just right and we got back home a little after 7pm Sunday. He brought the stuff into the living room and it sat there until the next day, though I couldn't wait to begin putting it all away in the nursery. Gregg did get to assembling the swing and bouncer while I relaxed on the couch.

The next evening, my husband put together the changing table and I started filling it with diapers and wipes. On top next to the changing pad, we put the wipe warmer and a small basket of baby powder, lotions, and rash cream. Now that the changing table and glider have been added to the nursery, it's pretty much ready for Baby B! I still need to hang a few pictures and make up the crib. Oh, and go through about a zillion little onesies, body suits, & jammies and put those away. I love going in the nursery and looking at everything. It's so cozy and just perfect. Sometimes I'll catch Gregg in there admiring it, too. :)

On Wednesday, I was surprised again with a shower at work. My supervisor told me a few weeks ago that we were going to have a training that morning, and I didn't suspect a thing. I was actually annoyed because I needed to change my schedule around so that I could attend! Gregg was in on the surprise also. Again, I was floored by everyone's thoughtfulness and the amount of stuff we got. Between the two showers last week, we have practically everything we need now for "Bubba". He really made out like a bandit.

Before the shower Wednesday, I had another prenatal appointment. Everything continues to go very well. I gained five pounds in one week! That brings my total weight gain to a whopping 35 pounds so far. Bubba is still in a feet first position, and the doctor said if he doesn't turn by my next appointment on the 31st, they may either try to manually turn him around (ouch!) or schedule a C-section. I hope he turns because I don't want a Cesarean (I don't think any woman does), but really I just want him to be healthy.

33w3d

In the 8th year, in the 8th month, on the 8th day...

it begins.

No, not the Olympics, silly. The start of my maternity leave!!! Well, my last day of work before going on maternity leave. I can't wait. Working this far into my pregnancy has been harder than I imagined. My job requires remembering and keeping track of a lot of things, which I am usually good at. I've always been a very organized person, but baby brain has rendered me pretty incompetent. Or, at least I feel incompetent. I'm forgetting things constantly and falling behind with paperwork. There's a ridiculous amount of paperwork in the social services field anyway, and it's especially difficult to stay on top of now.

Thank you ladies for praying about the aforementioned church situation. Gregg and I tried another one out this morning. We were not impressed. It seems that from the moment we pull up to the building, I'm tallying off a checklist in my head-

Reserved parking spaces for visitors: good.

Reserved parking space for the pastor: bad.

Powerpoint slides for worship songs: good.

No powerpoint for sermon: bad.

To sum up our worship experience this morning: awkward. First of all, upon entering we were given these bright yellow badges to wear that said "guest" on them, making it real obvious that we were visiting. Everyone else was wearing peach colored badges with their names, clearly separating them from us. Before we could even make it into the sanctuary, we were asked to sign the guestbook. Then we were asked three more times by the people sitting around us if we had signed it yet, and someone insisted we also fill out one of the guest cards in the pew. Most everybody was very friendly though, introducing themselves to us and whatnot. Music was enjoyable. The pastor gave a good sermon. I started feeling a bit more comfortable.

After the service, it took us about ten minutes for whatever reason to actually make our way out of the sanctuary. As we were filing out with everyone else, people kept telling us about the refreshments that were being served in the gym. I started to wonder if these were the world's best cookies and donuts the way they were being raved about.

When I stopped in the bathroom leaving Gregg to wait for me out in the hallway, he must have been told yet another 20 times to go join the fellowship already in progress. He had to politely, but firmly, tell them he was waiting for his wife. When I came out, somebody said to us "I hear you're the new couple". The new couple? I almost cringed. Um, no. We haven't joined your church. We're only visiting, thank you.

I don't think we could have gotten out of there fast enough. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when we got into the car. I hate to critique a church, but when I attend somewhere for the first time I really don't want a big flashing neon sign above my head that says "Guest". It's uncomfortable.

I'm so discouraged. Instead of finding what I'm looking for, I end up feeling like more of an outsider. Those people meant well, they really did. But. I have to wonder who they're really reaching out to, labeling their first time visitors and constantly barraging them with invitations to have cookies? As Christians, we have got to do a better job at reaching the lost for Jesus.

In other news, in less than two weeks we'll be heading down to our nation's capital for my sister's wedding. I have my final dress (a.k.a. tent) fitting next weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing my little sis finally tie the knot with her long time beau, but not to the frenzy of activity that will take place. I'm already anticipating having to sit some activities out, being 35+ weeks pregnant and in the middle of a hot D.C. summer.

On the preggo front, I've been feeling pretty ginormous lately. There's seriously a watermelon where my tummy used to be! It's hard like a basketball, too. At certain times of the day, there's a part of my belly that feels harder than others. Like one side of the baby is scrunched up against my uterine wall. At first it freaked me out, but now I think it's pretty neat. :)

I haven't been able to see my feet for weeks, so it's actually a good thing it's summertime because I can wear nothing but sandals. I'm not sleeping all that well most nights, either. There's so much on my mind and it's becoming increasingly difficult to find a comfortable position in bed.

It's good to know I am not alone in this journey. It seems like every time I log on to post lately, another blogger announces her pregnancy! There will be quite the flurry of new births over the next six months. Last night I had fun filling in the first few pages of Baby Boy's memory book; a bit about mine and Gregg's backgrounds, how we first found out we were expecting, baby's family tree. As I was writing, it hit me again that from now on I will be referred to as "mommy". I still retain my first name of course, but as far as my little boy will be concerned I am just mommy.

We've finally compiled a pretty good list of names for him, names we'd both be happy with. They were hard to come up with, since there aren't many boy names we're crazy about. We have a whole slew of girls' names, but I don't think our son would appreciate it if we named him Emma or Hayley.

Here's my 33rd week pic:

32w3d

It's hard to believe I'm here at 32 weeks already; only 8 more weeks to go! I just entered my eighth month, and the pregnancy symptoms abound: back pain, shortness of breath, heartburn, swelling. The fun never stops. :) And this emotional roller coaster I've been on for the past week? Somebody stop the ride, I want to get off! One minute I'm feeling pretty good, then the next I'm crying at the drop of a hat, I'm irritated, angry, hopeless, and frustrated. It's like PMS times 300.

I am quickly finding my limits, especially with regard to how long I can spend outside in the heat. On Friday afternoon around lunchtime, I started feeling really dizzy and lightheaded. Thankfully, I was already sitting down by that point and had had a bit of my lunch. I felt like if I were to get up though, I'd pass out. Then I started seeing spots and knew that wasn't good. So I called my doctor's office, and after nicely but firmly explaining to the receptionist that I needed to talk to somebody ASAP about what was going on with me, talked to the prenatal nurse on duty. She asked me what my symptoms were and what I had to eat that day, then suggested I come in as soon I could to get checked out.

Gregg came and picked me up from work, and we were at the doctor's in 15 minutes. The nurse checked my blood pressure, which was normal. She also checked my hands & feet for swelling. Nothing out of the ordinary. A doppler scan revealed that everything with the baby was just fine, also. His heartbeat was slightly higher than normal, near the 150s. She said there were some white blood cells found in my urine, which might be indicative of a urinary tract infection. So she had me give another sample to be sent to the lab for a urinalysis.

The final verdict? I'm not totally sure. I think it was the combination of sitting outside for an hour and leaving four between breakfast and lunch that got to me. Plus, I hadn't really slept that well the night before. So this was my body's (and baby's!) way of telling me to take it easy.

When I got home from the doctor's office, all I wanted to do was sleep. I'm not quite as tired as I was during my first trimester, but I'm definitely slowing down. It's hard to find a comfy position to sleep or sit in these days with my big ol' belly sticking out there. I feel like I need a crane to get me out of bed, or out of the car. I must be a sight to see, waddling around, carrying my 50 oz. pink jug of water (that I never leave home without).

In other news, the nursery is quickly filling up with odds and ends for Baby B! My sister and her fiance came up from Maryland last Sunday with a carload full of goodies. I couldn't believe how much stuff they brought. Valerie got us the car seat, mobile, and boppy pillow we registered for, plus a couple of fitted crib sheets and lots of adorable little outfits. The next day a package arrived from UPS with some more stuff off of our registry, from my mother's cousin. I go into the baby's room at least once a day to look at everything and smile every time.

It's been hitting me recently that, in just a short time, Gregg and I will no longer just be husband and wife. We'll be "mommy" and "daddy", too. We'll be responsible for a life. It won't ever just be the two of us again- well, I guess until our kids move out on their own in the next 20 some years. It's a bit scary and overwhelming to think about. While I am very much looking forward to our little boy's arrival, our lives will never be the same.

I spend a lot of time thinking about the impact this baby will have on us. I know that it will be challenging to be first-time parents, but wonderful. I just imagine seeing our features in his tiny face, knowing that we created him together. That will make all the late night feedings and sleep deprivation so worth it. :)

32 Weeks:

A Break From Your Regularly Scheduled Reading

I feel the need to break from the norm of shiny happy posts about the pregnancy and baby, and be real about what's going on underneath the surface of what seems like a blissfully perfect life. Life is still good, just complicated. I don't know why I didn't post about it before. I guess I was trying to sugarcoat a bad situation, so I just glossed over it as if it never happened. And then things went back to normal, so I just didn't feel the need to dredge it up and put it out there in the blogisphere.

But- Right after the new year, Gregg was basically forced out of his position as Technical Director at King Street Church. It's a long story that doesn't necessitate all the details being rehashed at this point, but suffice it to say that we both felt pretty betrayed by what happened. We stopped attending church there, and Gregg quickly found another job elsewhere with a small marketing company. We've been looking for a church to go to since the middle of January. With Chambersburg located in, essentially, the Bible belt of the Mid-Atlantic, we thought we'd have very little trouble finding a new church home. We were wrong.

Every Sunday, we ventured out to try almost every different type of congregation imaginable. But something wasn't clicking. It was either too liberal, or too conservative, or too... something. I thought maybe at one point we were just being too picky! With a baby coming, we know we want to be connected to a church family and find spiritual encouragement. It seems like the more we look, the more discouraged we become. I feel lost, like we had been a part of something and then were kicked out. We had after all, moved from Florida just for Gregg's job at King Street. We don't even really like the town of Chambersburg, nor the surrounding area.

But it's our home, sort of. The whole church search and everything makes me wonder sometimes why we came here. And if we could have avoided uprooting the life we had down in FL. So many questions that are unanswered. We seemed to be heading in one direction, then got thrown off the track. I really want to get back on track again, and create some sort of stability for the family we're growing. If it at all felt like home to us once, it certainly doesn't anymore.

31w2d

Yesterday morning, we had another routine check up at the doctor's. Everything is going well, and I've gained another three pounds. That makes a total of 25 pounds gained since the start of my pregnancy, which isn't bad. Baby Boy's heartbeat was fluctuating between 137 and 140 BPM. The nurse midwife who saw us went over delivery procedures and had me fill out a registration form for my hospital stay. After the appointment, I was scheduled for the rest of my visits through the end of August.

Two more months left! I am getting really excited. Thank you to those who prayed for me this past week when I was feeling down. God rejuvenated my spirit and gave me the most wonderful dream last night about our sweet little boy arriving. He was perfect, and I got to hold him close and kiss his soft, pudgy cheeks. I already love him so much, and he's not even here yet!

I've been feeling Braxton Hicks contractions on and off for the last couple of days. They're uncomfortable, but not painful. My belly will tighten, and then I'll have pressure in my back with some very mild cramping. It's getting harder to get out of bed and manuever myself out of chairs. My tummy gets in the way as I'm on the couch typing on the laptop. And when I sit down now, my chest rests on my tummy, and my tummy rests on my thighs!

I'm so amazed that there's a little human being inside me. He's active much of the day, making my stomach appear to dance. After my dream last night, I am so ready for him to come.

31 weeks: