Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Starting Over

It's interesting how life goes in cycles. You end one chapter and begin another. You leave certain people and things behind to start fresh and advance to the next "level". All the people you meet and experiences you live out are carried with you throughout your life, and they're all building blocks.

Funny how you never fully appreciate something until you're about to lose it. You just get comfortable somewhere, and BAM! Things change. With less than two weeks until we move to Pennsylvania, I've been a lot more reflective than usual and pretty emotional about leaving. I know it's very likely I will never see most of the people we've met down here ever again. They were in our lives only for a short while and vice versa. We came into their world, so to speak, a year ago and they accepted us with open arms. All are sad to see us go on our way.

The prospect of moving somewhere completely unfamiliar is somewhat daunting. I've done it plenty of times before though. Going from my safe, small town to a big college campus ten years ago... Moving out of my parents' house to live with my husband when I got married... Leaving a state I lived 95% of my life in where we were a close second to family, to live 1,000 miles away in Florida. Yup, been there, done that.

So why is this so hard??

I guess because I really felt settled here. We had bought a house, made friends, gotten to know our way around- and now there's an interruption to all of that. The whole starting over thing is just hard, no matter what the circumstances. And this will be a very good move for us, I believe. But again, we are leaving our comfort zone and traveling into unfamiliar territory.

It just doesn't seem real that we're moving in only 12 days. Half the house is packed, the moving company has been chosen, people are asking us all kinds of questions about the move to be sure. But it's like Monday, April 23 could come and go and I'd be just fine and dandy to stay here. Most of all, I will miss our house. We had a lot of great times and memories in it. It was ours. And it still will be, but somebody else will be living there now. (Praise God, we found renters! Robby and Andrea were very interested in our house, and are moving in once the lease is up on their apartment).

We still need to find some place to rent up in Chambersburg. It doesn't seem there are a whole lot of renters willing to take pets, so that really limits our options. I hate to think it, but we may end up having to give Tess away. It's very difficult to look for a place to live from down here. We're definitely feeling our way in the dark.

I'm also in the process of looking for jobs online. I really really can't stand the whole job search. Interviewing, selling myself, dragging my butt from place to place just to be told "We're sorry, we've hired someone else". Ugh. I just want to be one of those people who have had the same job for 20 years, or a SAHM. It's frustrating. But. it. must. be. done. I know I could end up landing a really good job that I like- it's the process of getting there that turns me into a basket case.

The center director position at the pregnancy resources place has been filled, I was informed by the executive director there. She wrote me back a very nice email, thanking me for my interest. She also mentioned that they hope to open another center sometime in the beginning of 2008, that they will need a director for. That's great, but unfortunately that doesn't help me right NOW. I do still want to volunteer though, so I'll check out that option once we arrive & get settled. By staying involved, it could increase my chances of getting the future center director position.

Our small group is throwing us a going-away party next Tuesday night, an hour before our usual meeting time. They have all been extremely supportive, asking if they could help us pack or if there was anything we needed. I know that I will miss them all very much. A girl at church I wanted to get to know better is coming over tomorrow evening for tea. She's on the "Traveling Tea" ministry, which caters to people who are in transition. How I wish we could have known one another better. She expressed to me how much she wished that, too. It made me both very happy and sad at the same time.

I'm trying not to get caught up in the frenzy without taking time to appreciate our last few days in Florida. So many things to do and consider and finalize. It's intimidating. God is still on His throne, however. I read this little inspiring verse today: "When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then Thou knewest my path." (Psalm 142:3) Very applicable, wouldn't you say? I may not know how all the pieces are going to fit together, but He has already laid out the path that I will walk and has gone before me. How great is our God! I can have confidence and peace in the midst of uncertain times.

More updates on the moving process to come...


audreybreier said...

I'm sorry things seem overwhelming right now! Making such a huge change is always hard!

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amy said...

I hope things look up for you soon. I know how moving and meeting more people and saying goodbye to others can be hard!

Erin said...

I've been meaning to comment on this post and the one before it for ages now and am just now getting around to it. I know how it feels to start over after you feel like you're just getting settled someplace and I want you to know that I'm praying for you.

I certainly hope that the last few days in Florida are joyful for you and that your new beginning in Pennsylvania is just as joyous, though I know it will be different.

Keep your chin up--God's got you in His hands. :)

Lots of love,