Everything but the White Picket Fence

I was thinking recently about the fact that I am right where I want to be at this stage of life. In my early 30s, with a great husband I've been with for almost a decade, and a mother to a beautiful little boy and a baby girl on the way. I have supportive friends, a great church, and live in a nice community. Things haven't always been easy during these past several years, and there have certainly been a lot of twists and turns along the way, but the pieces have pretty much fallen into place.

And I don't deserve any of it. I am blessed, to say the least. After we found out we were having a daughter, I thought that the only thing missing from our lives was a house. We've been looking to move out of our condo since the beginning of March. It has been wonderful living here, but as I mentioned in a previous post, since our family is growing, we need more space. For a few months, it seemed that every place we looked at was either out of our budget, too outdated, or in an undesirable location. I know that it's somewhat slim pickings around here, because we're renting instead of buying, but I was beginning to get discouraged.

Last Monday we went to look at a rental property advertised on Craiglist that's located in the next town over. After seeing it, I knew it was the place for us. 3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, a full finished basement with an office, updated interior, newer appliances, and a nice yard in a kid friendly neighborhood. It was a little out of our price range, so Gregg emailed the people renting it out to ask if they could possibly lower the rent some. They wrote back saying they would be able to, that they had other applications in for the full amount but thought we were a great fit for the place. So after criminal and credit checks were done, we were offered the house yesterday! We are stopping by tomorrow night to sign the lease and put down the security deposit.

I am really looking forward to living in a house again. No neighbors upstairs or in adjoining units, making all kinds of noise which freaks the dog out. I can just let Tess outside in the backyard to do her business, instead of walking her in bad or cold weather. Colton can play in the yard, splashing in his water table or riding one of his toy vehicles around. The previous tenants actually left behind a swing set and an outdoor playhouse, too. He'll also have a designated play room where we can stash most of his toys, instead of them crowding his bedroom or taking over the living room.

I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed, faced with the task of packing while being 6 months pregnant and taking care of a 2 1/2 year old! I just want to hire somebody to do it for me. I know that we're only moving 10 minutes away, instead of out-of-state like we've done before, so it shouldn't be that bad. And we are going to hire movers, instead of enlisting the help of family and friends. I just hate packing. And then unpacking. Blech. In the middle of all this, we also leave for vacation next week! We are going to Sesame Place in Langhorne, PA for a few days. We haven't had a real vacation in seven years. I really think Colton is going to love it, since it's geared for small kids and has all of his favorite characters.

That's it for now. I'm not sure how much updating I'll be doing these next few weeks... it's going to be a very busy June!

The Storm Has Passed

Whew. That was one of the most trying weeks I've had as a parent so far. A close second would be when Colton was cutting his first year molars last March and I got a total of ten hours of sleep. Yep, and I wanted another child.

After sticking to the B.R.A.T. diet (much to Colton's dismay since I wouldn't let him have his beloved milk) my little boy finally showed signs of returning to normal by Wednesday night. I've never been so happy NOT to see a poopy diaper. And then, I got sick. I still don't know if it was a very mild case of Colton's bug, or pregnancy induced nausea, but suddenly I couldn't stand to smell, eat, or look at food. I was pretty useless over Thursday and Friday, but by that time Gregg had returned home from his business trip and was able to help me out.

Now that the plague of sickness has passed by our house, I feel like I'm able to focus on and enjoy this pregnancy. I am 15 weeks along today, and have been in maternity clothes now for two. It's pretty obvious already to everyone that I'm having a baby. With my first pregnancy, I almost felt like an impostor at 16 weeks going to Babies 'R Us to register because I was barely showing. Call me crazy, but I think I felt a kick yesterday too. Things are happening so much quicker this time around!

I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time at my 12 week appointment on April 1. It was strong and in the 170's! People keep telling me that, based on the heart rate, I'm having a girl. I know it's just an old wives tale, but it's fun to believe. I still really want a daughter. We should find out sometime in May!

I'm starting to look at new furniture for the nursery, along with double strollers (yikes). I am also beginning to gather some information on breastfeeding, so I'll be more prepared this time. I haven't made the solid decision yet whether I want to try it again, but I feel okay either way. Colton flourished on formula and has been a pretty healthy kid, so I'm not worried. I think, though, that I have decided I'd like to try a VBAC if I go into labor on my own. That's all up to my body and baby's timing, which I understand. No matter how this child is delivered and fed, the most important thing of all to me is that he or she is healthy at birth and that I do not experience PPD again. I am honestly not overly concerned about it coming back, because I think a lot of the pressures and lack of knowledge I felt as a first time mom just won't be there. But I don't want to be naive, either. I want to be able to recognize the signs and ask for help when I need it, instead of suffering silently.

Since we learned baby #2 was on the way, we have also been planning to move from the condo into a house. Right now we only have two bedrooms and absolutely no yard. We haven't found anything great in our price range yet, but our landlord is in no hurry to see us leave since he still has a mortgage on this place and the market is flooded with rentals right now. He actually offered to reduce our rent if we stayed longer.

While looking for another place to live, Gregg and I actually had a discussion (more like an argument) about moving back to Florida. This past winter was horrible, and things aren't getting any cheaper. It might actually make sense if we didn't have a kid and one on the way. But reality is, Gregg has a very good job up here and we have an invaluable support system. Last summer and fall when we were facing the possibility of Gregg losing his job or being transferred due to the buyout, I had a lot of peace that we were supposed to stay here. That, in fact, God was not calling us to leave New Jersey and would move all the pieces into place so that we could continue living here. And He did just that. So in seeking Him again for whether a relocation was in the plan this time, I clearly heard that the answer was no. God has many more opportunities for us to minister and be ministered to here. Gregg also (though more reluctantly) felt the same answer.

Though I hate feeling at odds with my husband, this was a chance for us to really confront and pray through an issue that has been lurking in our marriage. I know that Gregg has this spirit of adventure within him. John Eldredge says in his book, Wild at Heart, that "adventure is a deeply spiritual longing written into the soul of a man." It has been given to him by God and right now Gregg feels stuck in a lot of ways, particularly at work, and that he's not able to do enough because of how tight our finances still are living in one of the most expensive areas of the country. God has shown me how I can empathize with my husband, instead of judging him, and speak to him in a way that opens up communication rather than shuts it down.

Wow, that was a lot of writing. I guess I'm making up for all those months where I hardly blogged at all!

We're Here!

We are in our new place and almost completely unpacked. The move went very well; we were done loading up the truck and our car by about 1pm Saturday and finally finished unloading everything by 6 that evening. It was a really, really long day. Both Gregg & I were exhausted, and said that whenever we move again we're definitely hiring professional movers!!

Colton was fantastic throughout the whole day. I'm so grateful my MIL came to help out with him. He didn't seem to mind too much that his schedule had been thrown off and fell asleep in my arms that night before I could put him in the crib. I really love his new room, and he doesn't seem to miss his old one. Colton is very content just playing on the floor with all of his toys.

We are starting to get settled in. There are still boxes and things to put in storage downstairs which are currently taking up the living room, but otherwise everything is in its proper place. I finally caught up on laundry yesterday too, so that's a load off my mind. I was so stressed by Sunday with all that had to be unpacked, but I was determined to get it done by this weekend. Monday afternoon I took a break and went for a stroll with Colton to check out the pool & clubhouse. Then Wednesday night after dinner, we all went for a walk around the development and enjoyed the cool summer air.

So far I really like the condo, and the fact that I can get out once in a while for walks. I'm so glad I don't have to go up and down the stairs to the basement to do laundry anymore. I am looking forward to relaxing a bit this weekend. Tomorrow for the 4th of July, we are going to Liz & Jeff's for a BBQ. On Sunday, we plan to do some grocery shopping and get other items we need for our new place.

Here are some pictures from moving day and a couple of Colton standing. Happy 4th!!
























Colton watching out the window his daddy load the moving truck.
























My dad in the truck once it arrived at the condo.
























Coltie holding onto his crib!

On the Moving Front, Part 3

There is finally light at the end of the tunnel! In less than 24 hours, we start loading the moving truck. I've spent the last several days taping, bubble wrapping, and playing tetris to try & get as many objects as I could into one box. As of yesterday, I amassed quite the pile of boxes and containers on one side of the living room.



















It's impressive, no?

And that's not even all of our possessions. We still have all our furniture and last minute odds & ends. Last night after dinner, Gregg brought all of the boxes from the living room down to the garage and stacked them by the door so that tomorrow morning he and the guys (his brother, my dad) can just quickly load them in the truck without having to constantly go up & down the stairs.

Oh, our garage sale went really well last Saturday. We made $269 and got rid of stuff we didn't want to move again. Gregg put out signs by our street and the highway before 8am, and it was like moth to a flame. People started swarming our lawn two hours before the sale was actually supposed to start, which turned out to be a good thing because it began to drizzle around 10. The rain continued through noon and we decided to pack it in shortly afterwards since we were getting soaked.

I'm so glad most of the packing is done. It was a challenge to get all that completed while trying to also watch a ten month old who doesn't stay put in one place for very long. There are a few more things that I'll throw in remaining boxes later today, and some clothes & toiletries will go in a suitcase after we get dressed tomorrow. At times, I felt completely overwhelmed with the amount of stuff that needed to be packed up. Every time I turned around, there was something else I forgot about. The problem with the kitchen was that there were so many breakable items and really big appliances that took up an entire box by themselves. But it's over. Now I just have to unpack all of these boxes. Ugh.

I think I would be remiss in not mentioning something about Michael Jackson, the day after his sudden death. His music was pretty incredible, though his lifestyle was certainly strange. I can't hear "Beat It" or "Billie Jean" without thinking about my childhood. In the early '80s my parents would play their Thriller record ad nauseum. My dad taped the making of Thriller (which I'm not sure was entirely legal at the time) and my sister & I scared ourselves silly watching the full length version of the music video. A few years later, we enjoyed watching Moonwalker whenever they'd play it on MTV and made up our own lyrics & dance moves to all the songs. In the eighth grade, my best friend and I listened to my Dangerous cd almost every time we got together and thought it was the coolest album ever. Regardless of his eccentricities, Michael Jackson's music was always on in the background of my life growing up. He was truly a music legend.

On the Moving Front, Part 2

The moving process is chugging along slowly but surely. I've been trying to pack some boxes here and there whenever I get the chance. Colton's room is mostly all packed up; I've left out a few favorite toys and stuffed animals for him to play with until we actually do move. I finally organized and boxed up his "old" clothes that no longer fit him. There were so many that I could barely get the box closed- pajamas, onesies, pants, socks, shoes, coveralls. It will remain in storage until we know whether our second child is a boy or girl. If we have a girl, I'll either donate the clothes to Goodwill or gift them to a friend or family member who has a boy.

We decided to hold off on our garage sale until this weekend, because of the rain last Saturday. We are posting ads about it on Craigslist throughout the week and hoping we get a good turn out! The weather forecast for this Saturday is really stinky, but I hope it's wrong or the thunderstorms just hold out until after 2pm.

I finished digging through boxes in the garage, trying to determine what goes and what stays. I filled about 12 trash bags full of stuff that we're not keeping. In my search, I uncovered almost $20 in loose change, a crumpled five dollar bill in an old jacket pocket, school papers and projects dating back to when I was in junior high, an entire library's worth of books, and a whole lot of spiders (shudder). We even still have a lot of the equipment that was used when Gregg ran his own business that's been closed now for nearly four years.

I'm feeling good about our progress so far. The biggest task will be packing up the kitchen, so I'm saving that for last. Every time I think "we don't have that much stuff", I end up finding more & more things which reveals we really do have that much stuff. Sigh. Of course, the weather these past few days has been pretty craptastic (dark, gloomy, rain) so I have very little motivation to do anything move related. It's just a good day to curl up with a cup of coffee on the couch and read a book. I'm seriously wondering what happened to the nice, sunny June we were promised after such a long harsh winter. Okay, so we were never promised anything- I'm just complaining. :)

On the Moving Front...

... we have finally found a place to live!! We'll be renting a condo in a town about thirty minutes from where we are now, in what seems like a very family friendly community. It's a better commute for Gregg since it is less than five minutes from the highway, too. There is a pool and clubhouse in the development which we can use, and a playground is within walking distance. A fairly new shopping center is also just a short drive away with a Sam's Club, Babies 'R Us, Applebees, Walmart, etc. It is farther away from friends and family than we'd like, but it has a lot more advantages than any other place we looked at closer. And with me not having a car right now, I can walk around the development with Colton & Tess or go to the playground and actually meet some people like other SAHM's.

We are moving the last weekend of June, which means we don't have too much time to pack up and/or get rid of things. I am amazed (and overwhelmed) at the amount of crapola we've acquired and moved from place to place in our 6.5 years of marriage. I'm wondering why we even kept half the stuff we have. I know Gregg wants to keep things "in case we'll use them again someday". I'm like that to a certain degree, but now I'm at the point where I'd really just rather back a dumpster up to the house and start heaving.

I've been going through and listing stuff on Craigslist like crazy, and have actually sold over $200 worth of stuff last week. We're planning on also having a massive garage sale this Saturday to get rid of more things. Whatever we don't sell will probably be donated to the Salvation Army or just chucked.

Since we signed the lease agreement and paid our security deposit on Saturday, Gregg has already contacted the oil company, the electric company, and the cable company to have everything switched over. All we really have to do now is PACK. Have I mentioned before how much I hate packing?? We tried to unpack as little as possible when we moved back to NJ in November, knowing that we wouldn't be in this house all that long. It's still an annoying and daunting task, though. I just want to be settled in our new place and get rid of as much stuff as we can so that the less we bring with us, the easier the move will be. :)

Updates Again

Here is just another update in the life and times of the B household. On Saturday, Gregg and I went out on our date while my mother-in-law watched Colton. This was only the second time we've been out together alone since he was born. We dropped him off around 5 at her house, then drove to downtown Ridgewood a few towns away to have dinner. It was such a nice night that we decided to get a table outside. The food was very good, but the service unfortunately left a little to be desired.

After we finished our meal, we stopped in a coffee shop and quick fed the meter before taking a walk around with our drinks. There were dozens of other people milling about, mostly couples, but there were a few young families with kids in strollers which of course made me think of Coltie! We walked hand in hand, something we haven't done a lot of in the past nine months. Either one or both of us always has a hand full carrying the infant carrier or pushing the stroller when we go out.

We took our time heading back towards Gregg's parents' and enjoyed a nice drive through various neighborhoods that were all in full spring bloom. When we arrived to pick up Colton, he was sitting with Grandma on the couch in his pjs watching tv because he refused to go to sleep! My MIL said he was very good for her, but he just would not go to sleep in the crib they have. He also fussed a lot during his diaper change, which isn't unusual since he does that with me. She also said that after about an hour, he started to realize that we were gone. As soon as Colton saw me, his face crumpled so I picked him up right away and kissed him. Then all was right with the world. I really appreciated being able to go out for a few hours and do the husband & wife thing now that we're mommy & daddy 24-7.

Last night, we took Colton for his 9 month well visit. He's in the 75th percentile this time for both height and weight. He grew two inches and gained only one pound since the last appointment, putting him at 22 lbs and 29 inches. The doctor wasn't concerned that he isn't pulling up to stand yet. Everything with him looked fine and he got three more shots, to catch him up from what he missed during the time we didn't have insurance. Colton screamed throughout the entire visit, and I felt so bad for him. He kept looking at me with this petrified look on his face and tears in his eyes. I almost started crying myself! We were in and out of there in under an hour, the good thing about having an appointment on a Monday evening. Now we don't have to go back until Colton's a year old. I can't believe that'll be in just 2 1/2 months.

In other news, I've been throwing stuff out and putting things on Craigslist in preparation for another move. We knew from the beginning that the place we're in now was only temporary, and we're very grateful we've been able to stay here as long as we have, but now it's time for us to find somewhere else. The search for a place to live thus far has been fruitless and frustrating. They've either been too far away from Gregg's job, or too expensive, or within our budget but, shall we say, crappy? Then there was the condo that this lady who was moving out of state wanted to rent to us, but it turned out that it's a low income housing unit and she's not allowed to rent it out. Someone found out and snitched on her, so right after she offered it to us she had to withdraw the offer. We're going to look at a place tonight when Gregg gets off of work, and hopefully it's the right fit. I'm tired of looking and not knowing where we're going to end up. Hopefully I'll have some good news to post soon!

One of Those Scattered Posts

As I sit here looking out the window, I'm wondering what this weather is up to... it seems like it's 60 degrees and sunny one day, and then 40 and rainy the next! I can't wait until it's consistently warm and bright outside. I did take advantage of one of the really nice days last week by taking Colton for a walk in the stroller. It was almost 70, and as we walked up and down our street I envisioned us being able to go soon to the park or zoo as a family. I am really looking forward to all the warm weather activities we can do with our little boy. I can't believe he'll be 8 months old next Tuesday!

So Gregg recently had his 90 day review at work, and they are so pleased with his performance that they gave him a raise already!! In a time when companies are laying off people and cutting back spending, my husband was given a pay increase. We are both blown away. God just keeps showering us with blessings.

This past weekend we decided to cruise through some neighborhoods that we'd like to move to so that Gregg can cut down on his commute. He wanted to show me where he works so we went there, and then ended up stopping by my dad's place on the way home and surprising him. We took him out for a bite to eat and talked for about an hour and a half. It was a really good visit, and I know that he appreciated us taking the time to come around to his neck of the woods.

On Sunday we went to the second service at church so we didn't have to rush around trying to get ready. During service, I was reminded of how I should be reflecting on Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for me as this week leads up to Easter. After church, we went to Gregg's parents' like usual. We stayed for a while after dinner was over and talked while Grandma played with Colton.

On the way home, we stopped to look at some apartments. They were nice, but too expensive. The cheaper one was kind of small and I really just couldn't envision us actually living there. Unfortunately, the rent in this part of the state is ridiculous. We have to rent right now because the house prices in NJ are still too high even with the housing market in a slump. Then you add property taxes and insurance which are both through the roof. We're hoping to find something decent that doesn't break the bank. Wherever we go, we plan on staying for a number of years so the school system also has to be good.

It would be so much cheaper to live practically anywhere else, but then again Gregg wouldn't have the kind of job he has now and we wouldn't be close to family. I'm feeling once more that desire to be settled. I'm tired of moving and getting used to one place only to be uprooted yet again. I just have to focus on and remember all that the Lord has done and is doing for us. It's so easy for me to become disgruntled.

Celebrate Me Home

This past year has sure brought its fair share of joys and woes. Joy at the birth of our son; woe at losing yet another church and another job, and feeling utterly confused at the direction God wanted us to take. With all the options before us, we finally decided to just move back to New Jersey. It seemed ridiculous, and also so sensical at the same time. Yes, Jersey is still about ten times more expensive than practically anywhere else in the country. And yes, it is the place we were so desperate to leave three years ago. I don't think we really knew what we were leaving behind though. It is also the place where we actually have roots. It's where we grew up, met, fell in love, and got married. Our parents are there. We had the opportunity to be a part of some incredible ministries, too. We figured it was the best thing for us and Colton to be close to family again and attend a church where we're plugged in. The job opportunities are also much, much better and pay more.

So I turned in my two week notice at work, we started packing boxes, rented a moving truck, and Gregg began sending out resumes to companies all over Northern NJ and NYC. He contacted a buddy of his to find out if he knew anywhere to rent that wouldn't break the bank. It ended up that friends of ours who got married the same year as us just happened to have an empty house they said we could live in until we found something more permanent. On Thanksgiving, Gregg's parents drove down to PA after having dinner at his aunt's to help us move.

Bright and early the next morning, we were loading the truck, packing the rest of our stuff, and cleaning. We had to tow the minivan on a dolly behind the truck, unfortunately, because on his way home from putting gas in it the night before, Gregg lost the brakes. It was a really good thing it happened then, instead of sometime on the way to NJ when I would have been driving it with Colton in the back seat. We got the van fixed that Saturday, which set us back about $300. Ugh. When we arrived nearly four hours later, our friend Jim who owns the house we're staying at came to help us move in. We discovered that he and his wife Laura had also bought us groceries and left some money on the counter for whatever else we might need! Gregg and I were just overwhelmed at their generosity.

On Sunday we went back to the church we had attended before moving to Florida, and it was like we never left. I didn't think people would recognize us after all this time, especially now that we have a baby in tow. But walking down the hallway to the sanctuary, we were instantly flagged down by some people who were having coffee in the fellowship hall. Throughout the morning, a lot more people greeted us and said how glad they were that we were there. An announcement was even made from the pulpit that we were back in town. During worship, I looked over at my husband who had tears in his eyes. He is not an emotional guy, but he was so moved by the fact that everybody remembered us and welcomed us so warmly.

It was truly like coming home. We had been such an integral part of that church- Gregg served on the Tech Team, I taught elementary school-aged girls Bible lessons on Wednesday nights, we were involved in a small group, attended adult Sunday School. It was clear to both of us this past Sunday that we had been missed and touched many people's lives. I had really missed our worship experience at GPBC. The people were always so genuine and spirit-filled, always looking for a way to help others and pray with them. They also really value family and children. There are so many wonderful programs for kids. I know Colton will have a solid Biblical foundation growing up in this church.

Recently I had been aching to be a part of this kind of fellowship again, with our church search in Chambersburg coming up dry every time. I kept feeling like more and more of an outsider every one we went to. And here we show up at our old church, and within the first five minutes are blown away by the most incredible reception. I joked that next week it's going to be in the bulletin that we're back.

After service, we went by Gregg's parents for Sunday dinner which is always a treat. His mom cooks enough for an army and the food is excellent. I had really missed that, too. I like that Colton will grow up surrounded by family, knowing his grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin. Gregg's brother's daughter, Katelyn, was so excited to see "Coltie". My SIL Liz and I hope they grow up being close since they're only 15 months apart.

The one thing missing here is that Gregg hasn't found a job yet. He's had a couple of good leads and one interview already. We figured he can always work at one of the large computer or electronic retailers in the area in the meantime. We have some money in the bank that will last us a little while. The plan is for me to stay at home with Colton, if we can afford to. If I need to go back to work part-time or something, at least Gregg's mom can watch the baby so we don't have to put him in daycare.

It's really good to be back here. I love being a SAHM. I like the fact that I can just call up a girlfriend and get together for a play date. I did have my doubts, because of the high cost of living, and because of the risk we're taking by not having a stable income source right now. We've struggled financially before though, and have always made it through. God has always taken care of us. We could have moved elsewhere for a guaranteed job, but we'd have had to get used to a whole new area, find a new church, and make new friends all over again. I dreaded the idea of starting over, but I was willing to do it if it meant I could stay at home. I would have been so isolated though. Here, I know the lay of the land and there's no awkward learning curve. I already have friends and plenty of activities at the church to get involved in. There's an amazing women's Bible study on Wednesday mornings, with nursery provided, that I would love to join again.

We have already seen such an outpouring of blessings since our move only one week ago. Now we just need Gregg to land a job!! And for Colton to feel like himself again. My poor baby has been sick with a cold since Tuesday night. It's awful watching him suffer. He's waking up two to three times during the night screaming because he can't breathe. We moved the swing into his room so that he can sleep somewhat upright. He doesn't have much of an appetite, and just wants to sleep and be held. I feel so bad for him. I have to keep using the nasal aspirator (or "snot sucker", as my husband calls it) to clean out his tender little nose, and he hates it. He screams like someone is trying to kill him. Colton also has a case of "goopy eye", which seems to be getting better now thankfully.

I've decided to stay home from church tomorrow and take care of him. It wouldn't be fair to bring a sick baby to the nursery, and I don't want to drag him out into the cold when he already feels so yucky. I'm so glad I'm not working right now, because I feel like a zombie. Since Colton started sleeping through the night at two months, I've been spoiled with a full night's rest. Not so much this week. I should really be catching up on sleep right now while my baby sleeps, but instead I'm blogging. Go figure. :)

Small Treasures

So Colton had his appointment with the doctor yesterday, and guess how much he weighs??? A whopping 12 lbs., 10 oz.! No wonder he was beginning to feel so heavy to me. He has also grown to 22 inches long. He got a clean bill of health, and will go back again in December when he's four months old.

I'm going to have to go through his stash of 3-6 month size clothes already and wash a few items, so he has stuff to wear that properly fits him! Before he was born, we divided up all his clothes in quarterly increments and put them away in the nursery closet, with the idea that we'd wash stuff as he needed it. Anything he doesn't get to wear stays in its packaging and gets returned to Babies 'R Us. There are a few packs of onesies from the 0-3 month collection he is probably too big for now. It makes me so emotional to have to put away clothes he's outgrown. I want him to grow up big and strong, and I'm excited to see how he changes and develops, but it's still kinda sad.

I try to treasure every time I hold him, feed him, and yes even change his diaper, because those moments won't last forever. I love staring into his big blue eyes and cuddling with him in the glider or on the couch. I love to watch him sleep and think how peaceful he looks. All these things make me overlook the fact that already this morning, my baby pooped so much I had to use nearly half a box of wipes, threw up all over me and himself necessitating a clothes change, and peed while I was changing him necessitating a second clothes change.

I'm feeling better about the whole moving option. I definitely have a peace about it that I didn't before. I'm excited for this new chapter in our lives. I'm happy that Gregg will have a great job that he feels made for and pays him what he's worth. Most of all, I'm looking forward to being a stay at home mommy!

Hopefully soon I'll have more details on this front, but for now I covet the possibility of things being different. And enjoy the fact that it's FRIDAY!!!

Time for a Colton pic:

2 Months

Colton is two months old today!

He is getting so big already. He's starting to outgrow some of his 0-3 month clothes, and I'm sad about it. I've felt when I go to pick him up that he's noticeably heavier. He has also found his thumb and sucks on it occasionally.

Colton is now sleeping for ten hours overnight, too! He doesn't wake up until 5-5:30am, which is awesome because I still get six or seven hours of sleep before I have to start getting ready for the day. He goes to the pediatrician on Thursday for his two month check up.

This past weekend was pretty good. Saturday the three of us went to the annual Apple Harvest Festival near Gettysburg for a few hours. It was a gorgeous fall day and the fairgrounds were packed with people. Sunday we lounged in bed before getting out to do grocery shopping. That evening we talked on the phone to our families, watched the football game, and ate leftovers for dinner.

I hate when the weekend comes to a close and it's Monday all over again. So far, this week isn't as stressful as last week. Still hectic though. I'd really rather be at home with my little boy than divide my time between him and work. It was hard when I was just pregnant to focus on my job, but now it's even harder. I feel like one thing or the other gets sacrificed. I can't possibly be great at both. I honestly don't want to deal with the frustrating amount of paperwork, rude foster kids, and scatterbrained foster parents anymore.

Gregg and I have talked about how I could become a SAHM since a few months before Colton was born. My husband has been looking for a job that would pay him enough to nearly replace my salary and since there aren't that many high paying positions in this area, let alone IT ones, we will most likely end up moving. I mentioned in a previous post how we're already not too fond of living here. Gregg isn't very happy in his current position either. We both feel he can and should be paid what he deserves, but for as long as I've known him he hasn't been. I keep encouraging him not to settle. He has years and years of experience in this field, and should be recognized for that.

So another job in probably another state is what we're considering. We've even contemplated moving back to New Jersey. I don't know what God's plan is for us. I thought I knew. But after two moves for jobs with ministries that didn't work out, I don't know anymore. I am so confused right now, and desperately seeking the Lord's direction and guidance. I don't feel as if I'm getting a sense of peace about any one direction. I hate feeling this unsettled and unsure.

Another thing I'm struggling with too, is that we still haven't found a church to call home. This area is saturated with churches, but they're all so... lifeless. There's no passion. I want to be inspired and challenged. I want to be moved. I will not settle for a spiritually ho-hum life. I won't for myself and for my children. That's another huge reason to move also.

I want us to make the best decision possible for our family and future, so I'm open to whatever door God wants us to walk through. But- even though we don't want to stay in this place long term and it's best that we relocate, I've still become attached to it. And the thought of moving and starting over for the third time in almost three years just overwhelms me. How many times can we do this???

These are the thoughts that have been running through my head for the past several weeks. I continue to pray that God points us in the right direction.

Ramblings

I thought I'd give an update on how our church hunt is coming, amongst other things. We kind of put it on hold with being away a couple of weekends in July and then preparing for the baby's arrival. We haven't been to church in a couple of months, and I feel really bad about it.

We went from being at church practically all the time since Gregg worked for King Street Church, to not going at all. After Gregg left his position there, we both looked forward to attending church services and other special church activities together. I had felt disconnected from him on Sunday mornings, since he couldn’t be a part of the worship experience right along with me, because he always had to work. Our church hunt has been very frustrating for us, though, leaving our desire for spiritual closeness unfulfilled. I still really want to be connected to a church body somewhere, especially now that we have a child.

Another reason we’ve put our church search on hold is that for a few months we have seriously been considering moving to Charlotte, NC. That’s right; I said moving. As if we haven’t done enough of that in the last few years.

As I’ve mentioned before, we’re not crazy about the area we live in and only moved here for Gregg’s position with KSC. There’s not much to do except “watch the corn grow”, and not a whole lot of potential for Gregg career wise. The school system isn’t the best either, and while it will be five years until Colton is ready to go to school, it’s something we need to consider. Can our family thrive here long term?

I’ve thought many times about the prospect of moving again. I told Gregg I would do it if it meant he could get a job that would allow me to stay home with our son. He’s had a few interviews down there, but nothing has panned out yet. I’m all for it if I sense that that is the direction God is leading us in, and if it will ultimately end up being the best for our family. But it would mean starting all over.

Gregg’s sister and my stepsister both live in suburbs right outside of Charlotte, so it’s not like we wouldn’t know anyone. I’m not really close with either of them, though, and they have their own friends and families. It took me so long to actually get used to living here and settling in. I probably questioned every day for months whether we should have left Florida to move here, and now I’m actually comfortable in this environment. I know my way around, I have good friends, we have a great family doctor, and a nice, spacious place to live. It would be wonderful to be a SAHM though. I understand that with any move towards a better life, there’s going to be sacrifice. I’m just tired of having to lose things along the way in order to achieve this.

I go back to work in two weeks, which I’m not looking forward to. I’ve really enjoyed my time off with my baby. My short-term disability period will be up on the 25th, but since this is a Thursday, I’ll start again the following Monday instead. I tried to get more time, but my doctor’s office said that unless there were complications with my C-section, all they sign off on is 6 weeks. I still have some paid time off built up, but I have to come back to work before I can use it. I only used three days since my last day of work was August 8, and Colton was born on the 14th which is when disability started. I’ll probably just save the PTO to use around the holidays, since we usually visit our families up in Jersey at Christmas.

The life insurance company paid out my disability all in one lump sum, which was very nice. They sent a check shortly after the first of the September, and I received more than I was anticipating. My health insurance paid all of my hospital expenses, too. They sent a statement the other day with all of the expenses that were incurred, and the grand total for my 56 hour stay: $13,000. I thought it was going to be more like $20,000. I suppose if the hospital were in a more metropolitan area, the amount would have been closer to this figure. $13K is still a buttload of money. It seemed like I was charged for anything and everything. There was a labor room charge, which I find odd since I never even went into labor! Both the hospital and my doctor each had their own separate charges for the circumcision, too. Crazy.

Sorry this post was so disjointed. I’m finding it difficult to form coherent thoughts lately, let alone coherent posts!

We're Mooving Again!

At least this time it will only be across town, not 900 miles away. On Monday Gregg called this guy, Rob, who's renting out the townhouse to ask him what the deal-io is. He basically said, "Oh you're the people from Frank's church, right? Yeah, you guys have the place." Apparently we had it from the moment we said we'd take it two weeks ago! Yay! So we can move in at the end of the month- no more living out of boxes, no more dial-up internet connection, no more broken water pipes or clogged drains (yes, this is the latest problem we've encountered; the bathtub won't drain and fills up quickly with water, causing the ceiling below it in the basement to leak. I think the owners are more convinced than ever that they just need to sell this place once and for all).

We're excited! We get to have our doggie back too. The townhouse is in a very nice residential area which will be great for taking her on walks. I'll finally be able to unpack everything and have stuff at my fingertips again instead of saying, "Oh where is that stupid thing? I guess I'll have to go dig around in a box for it." I have to say though, that even with all the mishaps we've had with this house for the past three months I am going to miss it. When we first "moved in" I was so homesick for our house in FL, but then I started feeling comfortable here. I guess if you're anywhere for a certain amount of time, you get used to it.

Gregg left at 5 o'clock this morning to catch his flight. It turns out that he was able to ride with one of the guys from church going to the conference, instead of renting a car to drive to the airport, so I won't be picking him up from BWI after all. His flight home on Saturday is scheduled to land at noon. He called me about an hour ago to tell me he had gotten there okay and would be heading off to the first event in the next few minutes. He promised he would call again later tonight. :)

It's always hard to have him so far away. Thank goodness he only does this about once a year. The first year we were married he went to Chicago for a week, and I remember missing him so much one night that I almost couldn't breathe. I appreciate him every day, but when he's gone for a while and then returns home I realize just how much he is a blessing to me- all the little (and not so little) things he does for me, snuggling beside him on the couch as we watch our favorite shows, having him sleep beside me. Okay, need to stop. I'm getting all teary eyed.

I'm going to go plant myself in front of the tv for a few hours and await his phone call...

Another Update

So we might have finally found a place. We went to look at a townhouse a week and a half ago that will allow a dog. It's an end unit about five minutes from where we're staying now with new tile, new carpet, a brand new dishwasher and nice spacious backyard. The man who's renting it out is a friend of someone we know from church who basically lobbied for us, since this guy was reluctant to let us have a dog there. His friend was persistant, and Gregg got a call one day asking if we'd like to come see the rental. We both really liked it and sent back the application a few days later. We're still waiting to hear from the guy whether or not we've been approved, but we're hoping!

This week was really tough for me professionally. We found out that the state put a temporary freeze on funds allocated to our program, so I and my supervisor had to scramble to come up with a plan to reduce spending which included shifting a staff member over to another department. The executive director now also wants me to take on more clients in order to meet budget requirements and manage the program at the same time. I've found in the last few weeks that I'm doing so many administrative tasks that I barely have time to focus on the clients that I do have already, and they require a lot of time and energy. We serve a very difficult population with many different needs.

I'm starting to wonder, again, if I'm really made for social work. I took so many years off from it exactly because it stressed me out so much. I think I needed to know though, if I could go back; if I wasn't just selling out by not using my degree. I'm completely comfortable saying that this is something I am not cut out for and don't want to do long term. That doesn't mean that I'm going to quit tomorrow, but it has become clear to me that this really is not the career path I want to follow- which is a relief in some way.

This Wednesday Gregg is leaving for Nashville to attend a worship arts conference and will be away until Saturday. So I'll have this big house all to myself while he's gone. I hate when he goes away on business because I can't stand to be apart from him. I'm going to spend some time with my sister in the meantime though, which I'm looking forward to. Straight from work on Friday I'm driving down to her place and staying into Saturday. We plan on going into Baltimore that night to have dinner and see the sights. I'll also get to see her new puppy, Sophie, and talk about wedding details! Since Gregg will be flying out of BWI, I'm going to pick him up from the airport on my way back to Pennsylvania and we'll ride home together.

I'm hoping this week will go smoother and that we'll hear something soon about the townhome. It would be nice to move out by the end of the month!

Yes, I am still alive

We made it! I can't believe we've been here for over two weeks already, and I'm just now getting around to blogging. I have a million and one things to write about, too. So I'll just start at the beginning...

The movers showed up at 8:30 am Monday, the 23rd. We still hadn't packed everything, having called it quits around 10 the night before. We thought we would have plenty of time to get that all wrapped up in the morning before the movers came. But as it turned out, we didn't get up until after 7! So while Gregg was out at Dunkin' Donuts getting donuts and coffee for us & the guys, I frantically threw the last minute stuff in boxes. The movers were done loading the truck by about noon and we hung around for another hour cleaning up and doing a final walk through to make sure we didn't leave anything behind. With all of our furniture gone, the house looked completely different and well, weird. We also packed up our cars pretty good with whatever didn't go in the moving truck.

Before we could actually hit the highway, we had to run to the church and pick up Gregg's final paycheck, then go to the bank and the post office. We squeezed lunch in there somewhere, then came back to the house to get my car and swung by Doggie Daycare to get Tess who was there all morning. Finally, by 4:00 we made it onto I-95. Not even fifteen minutes into driving, I was like "are we there yet??", knowing that we still had another fifteen hours to go. We had barely made it out of the county when I had to stop for my first potty break. We were not making good time at all, and our goal was to make it out of Florida by bedtime. The trip was more difficult because we had Tess with us and needed to stop more often so she could be fed and walked.

Once we crossed the state line into Georgia, we stopped for the night at this rather sketchy looking motel- again because we had the dog. After breakfast at-where else?-Waffle House the next morning, we started driving again. Somehow we made really good time that day, even stopping for an extended break in South Carolina. On our way through NC, we stopped at Gregg's sister Lori's for dinner. We had a good time seeing our nieces and nephews, and Tess got to meet & play with her cousin, Rosie. They wanted us to stay over, but we felt we needed to get back on the road so we could make it to Pennsylvania by early evening the next day, figuring the moving truck would show up sometime on Thursday that week. We stopped at a much better, much cleaner Motel 6 for the night and actually got an inside room this time since all the outside ones were already taken.

After a restful sleep, we decided to have another artery clogging breakfast at Waffle House (really, are we gluttons for punishment?) and hit the road once again. The longest stretch of our trip by far was our drive through Virginia, once we got out of NC. It seemed to go on forever. Halfway through I thought I would have a psychotic break. I was just so ready to get to our destination, I nearly forgot to take in the beauty of the Shenandoah Valley and Blue Ridge Mountains which were breathtaking. When I thought I could go on no more, suddenly there appeared signs for West Virginia and we stopped shortly after the state line to gas up one last time. WV and Maryland flew by after the nearly four hour drive through VA, and it was only another 25 minutes after that to get to Chambersburg. We ended up arriving about 5:30.

We had decided before leaving Florida not to take the townhouse after all. Because we were not familiar with the area, we had no idea where it was located and it was a stretch for our budget. We didn't want to be tied down for a year with something we were not completely comfortable with, but that also left us without a place to live. We were just trusting that God would provide us with housing. The night before we left, Gregg got an email from the church administrator with the name and number of a couple who wanted to rent out their 5,000 square foot estate on a farm to us for whatever we could afford. It used to be their primary residence, but they moved out when the farm land was sold. It's still completely furnished though, and the wife and one of their daughters run a business out of the basement. So here was this jaw dropping offer that just literally fell into our laps hours before we moved. God is truly amazing.

When we got to Chambersburg, Gregg called the woman, Nancy, to let her know we were here and even though she had just gotten home from grocery shopping, she said she'd meet us at the house. You couldn't even see the house from the road, it's set that far back. We drove down another half mile driveway and as we neared a turn, we could finally catch a glimpse. Nancy greeted us warmly and gave us a full tour of the house, insisting that we stay there for the night instead of going to a motel. Then she took us out for dinner at one of the local fares. I felt like such a slob in her presence after having driven all day, wearing a t-shirt and ratty jeans that were really too light for the surprising 50 degree weather we were suddenly encountering. She didn't seem to mind at all, and regaled us with questions about ourselves over dinner.

Once we got back to the house, we sort of stumbled around dumbfounded at its largeness. We joke that we need to call each other on our cell phones in order to find one another now. It really is a nice house with an amazing view of farmland and the mountains, but it has a few drawbacks: there is no cable connection anywhere inside so we have to use dial-up which can be painfully slow and one of the reasons I haven't posted until just now. We were shocked that they run a business downstairs and don't have high-speed internet. With no cable, being this far out in the country, we also only get about three channels on our tv using rabbit ears. Oh well, the price we have to pay for living in a mansion with our own private jacuzzi and master suite!

The other downside: we had to give Tess up. Gregg's parents came the first weekend we were in PA to get her so she could live with them. It's a temporary arrangement, until we find a permanent place to live that will accept pets. We both miss her. After my in-laws left, I cried. We are happy she is being taken care of by his parents and grandpa though. I didn't know I could get that attached to a dog, but she became part of our family. Once she was gone, it really hit home even more that we had moved and left our life in Florida behind.

Alright, so Thursday comes and almost goes with no word from the movers and I start to get anxious. I prodded Gregg to call the company and ask when they are expected to arrive. The lady on the phone tells him "tomorrow or the next day". Um, okay. While I'm out at a job interview Friday afternoon, Gregg gets a call from the movers saying they're about an hour away somewhere in Virginia. He thinks he hears them incorrectly because there's no way you can be anywhere in VA and only be an hour away from Chambersburg. He tacks on about another three hours to that time frame, and sits tight. I get home around 4:30 and we get to talking to Bob and Nancy, the owners of the house. After they leave, I put a pot pie in the oven for dinner and we go for a short walk around the property. By this time it's after 7 and still no movers. We clean up from dinner and rest for a while in the sitting area.

8:30. I'm nearly falling asleep on the couch, wondering if these guys will ever show up with our stuff. Around 9:15, Gregg makes the executive decision that they aren't arriving that night because it's so late and will just come the next day so he says we should go in the hot tub. Ten after ten, he gets a call on his cell phone. It's the movers. They have finally arrived and are wondering where the house is. I'm like, are you freaking kidding me?? So we have to get out, dry off, throw on some clothes and go meet them outside. I was NOT a happy camper.

One of the guys gets out of the truck and asks me how I'm doing. I have matted, wet hair and I look sunburned from the hot water I had just been in. I gave him a tight smile and said "fine". All the while, I still can't believe this is actually happening, that it's 10:15 at night and the movers have just shown up. We let him through the garage to the kitchen so we can give him the check from the church for their final payment and to sign some paperwork. He opens the envelope and says "I can't take this. It's not a certified check." Gregg says, "Your company told me cash or check." He insists that my husband heard incorrectly because they never accept anything other than a check issued by the bank. Gregg tells him that the check was written by King Street, the same people who put down the deposit, and if he needs a certified check they'll have to wait until the next day and come back then to unload our stuff. He's informed that we'll be charged some crazy sum of money for having to hold our things for an additional day.

Now here's where it got ridiculous. Gregg tries to keep his cool, but I can see him coming unglued at this point. He says to the guy that it isn't his fault they didn't show up until after ten, four hours after they were scheduled to arrive, and that Saturday shouldn't count as an additional day because they didn't get here on time. He asks to speak to the guy's supervisor so he gets her on the phone for him. She isn't the most friendly or understanding person to deal with either, unfortunately. Gregg tries to work something out with her, explaining that these guys only just showed up at our house and have been rude to us. He understands he misunderstood the thing about the check, but there's nothing he can do about it at that late hour. She suggests he put it on a credit card because they can't release any of our stuff until they get paid somehow. The only credit card that we have just for emergencies won't hold the amount, plus the extra 5% the moving company is charging us to use one.

It's almost 11 o'clock by this time and none of our things have been unloaded. Either way, it looks like someone is going to be charged up the wazoo in order for us to be able to get our furniture. The lady just is not sympathetic to the situation we find ourselves in and unwilling to compromise. So Gregg is left with no other option but to call and wake up Jonathan Ford, the pastor of worship arts. He happens to still be awake and tells Gregg he'll call the church administrator about the situation. When he calls back he says that both he and Ken Adams, the administrator, are on their way over to resolve things. I was so relieved and blown away by the fact that they were willing to come here so late at night to help us.

It still takes about another half an hour for them to get everything straightened out. Ken tells the guys that the contract he has says that they have thirty days from the time they unload to pay them. The guy that was giving us problems tells him that that was through a broker and has nothing to do with his company's policy. Rather than arguing the point, Ken just gives the movers his company credit card so that we can finally just get our stuff. It's freaking midnight already and we're still looking at another two hours, at least, for them to unload everything off the truck. And Gregg's parents and grandpa are coming later that same morning. Craptastic.

We had them unload most of the stuff into the three car garage since we really only needed our kitchen table, beds, the tv, and the boxes full of our clothes. Ken and Jonathan hung around to make sure all our things got off the truck and nothing was damaged. They didn't end up leaving until 2:30 am. I was so tired and annoyed at the stupid movers. We only got about four hours of sleep before we were up again to get ready for my in-laws' visit. What a nightmare. I don't think I can ever trust a moving company again.

But, all of our belongings made it here and we have settled in as much as we can in a place that's not really ours. Gregg started his new job on May 1 and loves it. I was offered a job just yesterday, which I'm starting on the 21st. I'll be running a supported employment program at a large social services agency, supervising three other social workers. It sounds very interesting and challenging, as I've never supervised people before. My caseload will be relatively small, made up of 7 or 8 clients who I'll be helping obtain employment in the community. While I'm there, I'm going to go for my social work license, which they strongly encouraged me to get and will also offer me higher pay for.

Things are falling into place little by little. I always take transitions hard, and this is no exception. It's hard to move to whole other place completely unfamiliar, to give up our dog, to live out of boxes, to find a new job, to fit into a church where I don't know anybody. I still struggle with the changes that have to take place in order for us to make our way here.

I think it's safe to say I never, ever want to move again... with the exception of moving into a more permanent house just across town someday. I'm finding it weird that with any move you lose certain things and yet gain others at the same time. Trying to reconcile those things and make sense of it is a complicated, head spinning process. I want to rush right through the awkward beginning stage and just feel settled. Is that too much to ask for?

It's comforting, however, that we are in close proximity to our families. And actually seeing spring again is pretty wonderful- trees budding with apple blossoms and a cool breeze blowing through the windows. I am so looking forward to fall here.

If you're still reading, I congratulate you. I had to write this post over several days and am finally getting around to finishing it today. Did I mention dial-up is painful?

"Just one thing before you leave- don't forget to remember me"

This will probably be the last opportunity I have to blog before we hit the road tomorrow. Our last week in Florida has come and gone quickly. The house looks strange; very much in that same awkward transition-like state as we find ourselves. We're surrounded by packing boxes and random items that we don't exactly know what to do with yet. We confirmed with the movers the time they'll be arriving, had Robby and Andrea over to sign the lease agreement that will change our relationship to that of landlord/tenant, and said most of our final good-byes.

We were on the phone several times yesterday with the Pastor of Worship & Arts at King Street who was trying to finalize arrangements for us to move into a brand new townhouse owned by one of the members at the church up there. At the eleventh hour, he came through for us with a place to live right in Chambersburg. The other places we had found were too far away, or there were agencies and landlords who wouldn't give us any information about the rentals since we weren't there in person. By yesterday afternoon, we were running out of options and had to face the very real possibility that we would need to put our stuff in storage while we searched for a decent place to rent. So at this stage, we are pretty confident we can move right in upon arriving in town towards the end of this week.

On my last day of work, Friday, I finished training the woman who's taking my place and left my keys. My boss took me and Gregg out to lunch at Carrabba's and let me go home after that. He expressed his appreciation for all the things I brought to his business, and for Gregg's work at the church. In the parking lot of the restaurant, it was a little weird saying good-bye for the final time. Because, most likely, it will be the final time.

Last night we went to one of Gregg's volunteer's who was hosting a Saltshaker's Dinner. We were on her list for the month of April so we had known about it for several months. Honestly, I wasn't that excited about going with all the stuff we still had strewn about the house and needed to put in boxes. Well, we showed up and saw two other couples walking up to her house that have been very instrumental in the Sound & Vision Ministry this past year. My mood instantly changed because I was happy to know they would also be at our Saltshakers. Then I saw their kids and thought wait a minute... We walked into the house and were greeted by more of Gregg's volunteers and a handful of church staff members. We were so surprised!

The host, Linda, had organized a surprise going-away party for us under the guise of a normal dinner. She cooked a fabulous meal and put out an assortment of little desserts. People also brought gifts for us. They were things like candy and technical related things for Gregg, and a few things for our new place. Linda had gotten me a huge basket full of bath salts, lotions, body washes and scented candles. I guess she knew I needed some relaxation therapy! It was such a nice and thoughtful gesture that we were not expecting at all. We didn't think we had made that big of an impact during the course of our year here, but now I know we will be greatly missed.

Leaving this place will be one of the hardest things I ever do. I've had many mixed feelings these past few weeks about moving, but I know God is with us and leading us. As I was lying in bed last night, I thought I'll actually get to wear my winter wardrobe this year and see our families more than once or twice in a 12 month period. I'm excited about those things and what the future holds for us. When I write again, we'll be up in Pennsylvania beginning a new chapter in our lives.

Starting Over

It's interesting how life goes in cycles. You end one chapter and begin another. You leave certain people and things behind to start fresh and advance to the next "level". All the people you meet and experiences you live out are carried with you throughout your life, and they're all building blocks.

Funny how you never fully appreciate something until you're about to lose it. You just get comfortable somewhere, and BAM! Things change. With less than two weeks until we move to Pennsylvania, I've been a lot more reflective than usual and pretty emotional about leaving. I know it's very likely I will never see most of the people we've met down here ever again. They were in our lives only for a short while and vice versa. We came into their world, so to speak, a year ago and they accepted us with open arms. All are sad to see us go on our way.

The prospect of moving somewhere completely unfamiliar is somewhat daunting. I've done it plenty of times before though. Going from my safe, small town to a big college campus ten years ago... Moving out of my parents' house to live with my husband when I got married... Leaving a state I lived 95% of my life in where we were a close second to family, to live 1,000 miles away in Florida. Yup, been there, done that.

So why is this so hard??

I guess because I really felt settled here. We had bought a house, made friends, gotten to know our way around- and now there's an interruption to all of that. The whole starting over thing is just hard, no matter what the circumstances. And this will be a very good move for us, I believe. But again, we are leaving our comfort zone and traveling into unfamiliar territory.

It just doesn't seem real that we're moving in only 12 days. Half the house is packed, the moving company has been chosen, people are asking us all kinds of questions about the move to be sure. But it's like Monday, April 23 could come and go and I'd be just fine and dandy to stay here. Most of all, I will miss our house. We had a lot of great times and memories in it. It was ours. And it still will be, but somebody else will be living there now. (Praise God, we found renters! Robby and Andrea were very interested in our house, and are moving in once the lease is up on their apartment).

We still need to find some place to rent up in Chambersburg. It doesn't seem there are a whole lot of renters willing to take pets, so that really limits our options. I hate to think it, but we may end up having to give Tess away. It's very difficult to look for a place to live from down here. We're definitely feeling our way in the dark.

I'm also in the process of looking for jobs online. I really really can't stand the whole job search. Interviewing, selling myself, dragging my butt from place to place just to be told "We're sorry, we've hired someone else". Ugh. I just want to be one of those people who have had the same job for 20 years, or a SAHM. It's frustrating. But. it. must. be. done. I know I could end up landing a really good job that I like- it's the process of getting there that turns me into a basket case.

The center director position at the pregnancy resources place has been filled, I was informed by the executive director there. She wrote me back a very nice email, thanking me for my interest. She also mentioned that they hope to open another center sometime in the beginning of 2008, that they will need a director for. That's great, but unfortunately that doesn't help me right NOW. I do still want to volunteer though, so I'll check out that option once we arrive & get settled. By staying involved, it could increase my chances of getting the future center director position.

Our small group is throwing us a going-away party next Tuesday night, an hour before our usual meeting time. They have all been extremely supportive, asking if they could help us pack or if there was anything we needed. I know that I will miss them all very much. A girl at church I wanted to get to know better is coming over tomorrow evening for tea. She's on the "Traveling Tea" ministry, which caters to people who are in transition. How I wish we could have known one another better. She expressed to me how much she wished that, too. It made me both very happy and sad at the same time.

I'm trying not to get caught up in the frenzy without taking time to appreciate our last few days in Florida. So many things to do and consider and finalize. It's intimidating. God is still on His throne, however. I read this little inspiring verse today: "When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then Thou knewest my path." (Psalm 142:3) Very applicable, wouldn't you say? I may not know how all the pieces are going to fit together, but He has already laid out the path that I will walk and has gone before me. How great is our God! I can have confidence and peace in the midst of uncertain times.

More updates on the moving process to come...

Moving Update #1

This weekend: wow. It went by in such a blur. Cleaning, grocery shopping, calling people who have rental listings, narrowing down moving companies, packing boxes. Only 3 weeks to go! Yikes.

It's a bit overwhelming, but I can already see the pieces falling to place. Tonight we're showing our house to a couple from our small group who's interested in renting it. They currently have a one-bedroom apartment and wanted to upgrade when their lease ran out to a two-bedroom. We offered our three bedroom house with a screened in porch and large backyard to them for the same amount that they'd pay for a 2 bedroom apt. We had to come down from our original price to be realistic. After talking with our realtor (who was actually the listing agent for our house last year when we bought it), she confirmed what we already knew: that the market is pretty sucky right now and we should rent out until it turns around. She gave us some ballpark figures of what homes in the area are renting for, and when Gregg told her what this couple wants to pay she immediately said, "Take it!"

I'm kinda bummed we have to settle for less than our original amount, but will be very grateful if Robby and Andrea end up renting our house because we know they'll take good care of it and we'll at least be able to cover our rent and utilities up in PA. I'll be so happy to get that settled this week. After getting several quotes I think we've chosen a moving company, too. King Street Church told us not to pay a cent out-of-pocket for it, either. They are picking up the entire tab and giving us a $500 stipend for any incidentals, such as moving boxes & supplies, gas and hotel stays along our way up there. That is such a huge blessing!

Gregg started packing the "storage room" and the guest bedroom on Saturday, while I cleaned and organized to get ready for the showing tonight. It's amazing how quickly boxes get filled. We went to Sam's Club and bought 30 to get us started. No doubt we'll be going back soon to get more. But, this time we are expert packers! Having done this only a year earlier we pretty much have it down and will (hopefully) be even more efficient.

Tomorrow is my one year anniversary of working here at my job. Yeah, just in time for me to leave. My last day will actually be on the 20th. I'm spending the last two days training the woman who's replacing me, and I've catalogued a lot of the tasks I do on a daily basis so she can reference back to it. I'm hoping and praying to get a really good job where we're going. This one has been okay. I've learned some skills I can take with me. My boss said that I've been a great employee and asset to the company, and he's sad to see me go which was very nice to hear.

Yesterday and Saturday as we were driving around, I took note of how beautiful and green everything is. I will really miss this area; it is so pretty and we were so privileged to live here. I am really looking forward though, to seeing the seasons change. I love autumn and I'm so happy we'll get to experience it again!