Friday, October 10, 2008

Getting Real

This past week has been stressful. Trying to juggle the demands of motherhood, work, and everything else had me pretty worn down by yesterday. Early this morning before the sun came up, while I was feeding Colton, I just got real with God and started praying. And I did some crying too. I ended up having a pretty good day. I definitely feel less overwhelmed.

I realized I have to put in more time at the office than I have been, simply because I can't get much done at home while trying to take care of a baby. I have to drop what I'm doing to feed him, change him, rock him, etc. I love being with my little boy, but for the sake of my sanity I need to be in a place where I can actually accomplish something. I barely made it into the agency this past week, even with getting up about 5 o'clock every morning. I was seriously worried my supervisor was going to say something about it to me today, but he didn't. He was very understanding, and said I just need to figure out what works best for me.

Right. Easier said than done.

Warning: this paragraph contains a lot of TMI- This morning I had my post partum appointment with my doctor. It was supposed to be a six week follow up, but she couldn't see me until today. Dr. Brown is fabulous. I am SO glad she was the one who performed my C-section. She held Colton for a while and exclaimed how big he's getting. She said my incision is healing very nicely and the redness should go away sometime within the next year. My uterus has almost shrunk back down to its original size. My weight is still hovering around twenty pounds more than what I weighed at the beginning of my pregnancy. Bleh. Time for a diet. Dr. Brown gave me a prescription for bc, which I can start taking after I get my next period.

Before we left, she had me sign Colton's name and birth date on a large quilt which she has all the women she delivers sign. She said she had to start another one because the first is completely full of names! I don't have to come back now for another year when I'm due for my annual exam.

I'm realizing that I am still very much dealing with adjusting to having a baby. I know that seems pretty obvious, but it hit me last night that's why I'm so stressed out and a little depressed. It's okay though. Having a new baby is an adjustment. I think I was beating myself up for not being happy every single moment of the day. I do love being a mom. I am absolutely in love with my son, and can't imagine life without him. But he has radically altered my entire world.

I am so glad it's the weekend! I love days off. Time just to spend with my husband and baby. :)

My homey "C"

1 comment:

Maria D. said...

Praying that the Lord pours His unending strength into you!