Sunday, July 06, 2008

33w3d

In the 8th year, in the 8th month, on the 8th day...

it begins.
No, not the Olympics, silly. The start of my maternity leave!!! Well, my last day of work before going on maternity leave. I can't wait. Working this far into my pregnancy has been harder than I imagined. My job requires remembering and keeping track of a lot of things, which I am usually good at. I've always been a very organized person, but baby brain has rendered me pretty incompetent. Or, at least I feel incompetent. I'm forgetting things constantly and falling behind with paperwork. There's a ridiculous amount of paperwork in the social services field anyway, and it's especially difficult to stay on top of now.

Thank you ladies for praying about the aforementioned church situation. Gregg and I tried another one out this morning. We were not impressed. It seems that from the moment we pull up to the building, I'm tallying off a checklist in my head-

Reserved parking spaces for visitors: good.
Reserved parking space for the pastor: bad.

Powerpoint slides for worship songs: good.
No powerpoint for sermon: bad.

To sum up our worship experience this morning: awkward. First of all, upon entering we were given these bright yellow badges to wear that said "guest" on them, making it real obvious that we were visiting. Everyone else was wearing peach colored badges with their names, clearly separating them from us. Before we could even make it into the sanctuary, we were asked to sign the guestbook. Then we were asked three more times by the people sitting around us if we had signed it yet, and someone insisted we also fill out one of the guest cards in the pew. Most everybody was very friendly though, introducing themselves to us and whatnot. Music was enjoyable. The pastor gave a good sermon. I started feeling a bit more comfortable.
After the service, it took us about ten minutes for whatever reason to actually make our way out of the sanctuary. As we were filing out with everyone else, people kept telling us about the refreshments that were being served in the gym. I started to wonder if these were the world's best cookies and donuts the way they were being raved about.

When I stopped in the bathroom leaving Gregg to wait for me out in the hallway, he must have been told yet another 20 times to go join the fellowship already in progress. He had to politely, but firmly, tell them he was waiting for his wife. When I came out, somebody said to us "I hear you're the new couple". The new couple? I almost cringed. Um, no. We haven't joined your church. We're only visiting, thank you.

I don't think we could have gotten out of there fast enough. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when we got into the car. I hate to critique a church, but when I attend somewhere for the first time I really don't want a big flashing neon sign above my head that says "Guest". It's uncomfortable.

I'm so discouraged. Instead of finding what I'm looking for, I end up feeling like more of an outsider. Those people meant well, they really did. But. I have to wonder who they're really reaching out to, labeling their first time visitors and constantly barraging them with invitations to have cookies? As Christians, we have got to do a better job at reaching the lost for Jesus.

In other news, in less than two weeks we'll be heading down to our nation's capital for my sister's wedding. I have my final dress (a.k.a. tent) fitting next weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing my little sis finally tie the knot with her long time beau, but not to the frenzy of activity that will take place. I'm already anticipating having to sit some activities out, being 35+ weeks pregnant and in the middle of a hot D.C. summer.

On the preggo front, I've been feeling pretty ginormous lately. There's seriously a watermelon where my tummy used to be! It's hard like a basketball, too. At certain times of the day, there's a part of my belly that feels harder than others. Like one side of the baby is scrunched up against my uterine wall. At first it freaked me out, but now I think it's pretty neat. :)
I haven't been able to see my feet for weeks, so it's actually a good thing it's summertime because I can wear nothing but sandals. I'm not sleeping all that well most nights, either. There's so much on my mind and it's becoming increasingly difficult to find a comfortable position in bed.

It's good to know I am not alone in this journey. It seems like every time I log on to post lately, another blogger announces her pregnancy! There will be quite the flurry of new births over the next six months. Last night I had fun filling in the first few pages of Baby Boy's memory book; a bit about mine and Gregg's backgrounds, how we first found out we were expecting, baby's family tree. As I was writing, it hit me again that from now on I will be referred to as "mommy". I still retain my first name of course, but as far as my little boy will be concerned I am just mommy.

We've finally compiled a pretty good list of names for him, names we'd both be happy with. They were hard to come up with, since there aren't many boy names we're crazy about. We have a whole slew of girls' names, but I don't think our son would appreciate it if we named him Emma or Hayley.

Here's my 33rd week pic:


3 comments:

audreybreier said...

Wow..I don't think I'd feel comfortable at that church. It sounds like they were trying to make guests feel welcomed, but they end up just making them feel awkward and out of place.

I can't wait to hear what name you decide! If we have a girl, her name will be Emma. I've loved that name since I was about 7..her name will be Emma Jane. My dad's mom's name was Erma Jane, so we're naming her after my grandmother who died when my dad was 15. So, we have a girl name..we're still considering boy names. It's so fun to think about!

Angelarae said...

That's horrible that the church felt the need to advertise that you and Gregg were visiting. There's truly nothing worse than wearing a flashing sign saying "outsider, outsider". Yuck. When DH and I moved to Calgary, it took us almost a year to find a good church - and then it changed, so we had to find another church. And it took us 5 years to find a small group that we really enjoyed. It's tough that's so difficult to find a welcoming church.

I hope the next month goes by quickly for you! I can't wait to find out your name and see pictures of baby boy :)

And Baby Makes Three said...

Don't wish these last few months away...I would have given anything to experience the amazing (read: miserable) last few months of pregnancy! Hang in there...just a few more weeks to go--can't wait to see pics of your little Angel!