26w5d

Down to double digits on the countdown already! Where does the time go? Looking at it the other day, I thought to myself "Oh, I still have ninety some days". But then I realized that ninety days equals three months and almost had a mini panic attack. I seriously don't know where all these weeks are going.

Two weekends have passed without blogging, and that's primarily because I've been so busy at work lately. We did go up to NJ for Mother's Day as planned. Gregg and I met up with my mom and stepfather for dinner that Saturday night. My mother chose The Cheesecake Factory, which was located at a mall about halfway between their house and my in-laws'. The place was mobbed. I really don't remember the mall ever being that crowded before. I'm so glad we don't live in Jersey anymore. The wait at the restaurant was almost an hour, and parking was nearly impossible to find. While we waited, I showed my mom and stepdad the latest pictures from the ultrasound and opened a gift for the baby from them- blue socks, hats, and onesies with teddy bears that were absolutely adorable!

The next day the ladies enjoyed a fabulous meal cooked by the men in Gregg's family at his parents'. There was steak, chicken parm, fruit salad, biscuits, veggies, mashed potatoes and two different kinds of dessert. Enough food was left over for an army. We received more goodies for baby boy from Gregg's mom and aunt; a rattle, a wearable blanket, creepers, onesies, hats, socks, bibs, and washcloths with little footballs and racing cars. My MIL even bought us the Winnie the Pooh border for the nursery and a stroller for when he can sit up by himself. I tried on the "dummy" dress she had finished making me for my sister's wedding. There are a few alterations needed and I'll obviously grow some more before July 19, but it came out great. I'm looking forward to waddling down the aisle in it.

The best part of the day was when I woke up that morning, and Gregg simply whispered to me "Happy Mother's Day". I can't really describe the feeling I had at that moment, but I still get all warm and fuzzy inside when I think about it.

This past weekend we spent in town, running errands and having dinner with friends. On Saturday we picked out paint samples for the baby's room. We'll probably leave the off-white color that's already there on top, add the border in the middle and a shade of blue on bottom. I can't wait to get started decorating!

Today first thing at 8am was my sixth month check-up. I asked Gregg why it always seems to rain the morning of our doctor's appointments. Anyway, the nurse checked the usual: urine, blood pressure, weight. All were good! I've gained a total of 20 pounds since the start of my pregnancy. I honestly don't feel like I've put on much weight at all, though. Before the doctor came in, I was given a bottle of that glucola syrup to take home for the gestational diabetes test. They told me I can drink it and have the blood work done sometime next week before coming in again. Fun, fun. The doctor shared the results of my last ultrasound and said that everything with the placenta is normal. It ended up rising on its own, so it won't cause any problems during labor and delivery. She used the doppler to listen for the heartbeat, which is in the 140s. Now that I'm approaching my third trimester, my appointments will be every two weeks. We left the office scheduled for a bunch of dates right up through the middle of July.

I'm starting to develop a case of baby brain. I'm so scatter brained at work, I feel like I can't keep things together. When I went to pick up my new prescription glasses at Walmart the other day, I couldn't find the right words to tell the clerk what I was there for. Gregg had to rescue me, and I felt like a complete moron. I'm also feeling way more emotional than usual. I woke up very early Saturday morning and laid in bed crying for close to ten minutes, for no particular reason. I feel sad and guilty whenever we go out and leave the dog behind. I almost burst into tears after eating the last grape in the fruit platter we bought at the grocery store, thinking that now Gregg would be left with no more grapes to eat. What is wrong with me?? I've become an absolute basket case.

Thinking about coming back to work after my maternity leave depresses me. If I can't bear to leave the dog behind, how can I possibly leave my newborn son with someone else for a few hours during the day? Granted, my job is pretty flexible and I can do a lot of work from home. I've actually been offered a lateral move within the agency that would allow me even greater flexibility and do the adoption work I have wanted to for sometime now. Still, I don't know how I'll manage to do any work and handle the demands of a new baby. I need a lot of strength and grace from God on this one. I'd prefer not to work at all, but that may not be feasible for us financially just yet. This has really been tearing at my heart lately. I talked with our company's benefits manager, and found out that I can take two weeks regular paid leave before my short term disability kicks in for another six, at a reduced salary rate. Two months just doesn't seem like enough time to take off to have this baby.

I'm feeling weepy again just thinking about it. It doesn't help that it's a miserable, gray rainy day outside with temps in the 50s. For now, I will look forward to getting away with Gregg for a much needed mini vacation over Memorial Day weekend. We plan on going up to Raystown, PA with some friends and hanging out. It should be a fun and relaxing time. Our last vacay for a while at least...