On the Moving Front, Part 3

There is finally light at the end of the tunnel! In less than 24 hours, we start loading the moving truck. I've spent the last several days taping, bubble wrapping, and playing tetris to try & get as many objects as I could into one box. As of yesterday, I amassed quite the pile of boxes and containers on one side of the living room.



















It's impressive, no?

And that's not even all of our possessions. We still have all our furniture and last minute odds & ends. Last night after dinner, Gregg brought all of the boxes from the living room down to the garage and stacked them by the door so that tomorrow morning he and the guys (his brother, my dad) can just quickly load them in the truck without having to constantly go up & down the stairs.

Oh, our garage sale went really well last Saturday. We made $269 and got rid of stuff we didn't want to move again. Gregg put out signs by our street and the highway before 8am, and it was like moth to a flame. People started swarming our lawn two hours before the sale was actually supposed to start, which turned out to be a good thing because it began to drizzle around 10. The rain continued through noon and we decided to pack it in shortly afterwards since we were getting soaked.

I'm so glad most of the packing is done. It was a challenge to get all that completed while trying to also watch a ten month old who doesn't stay put in one place for very long. There are a few more things that I'll throw in remaining boxes later today, and some clothes & toiletries will go in a suitcase after we get dressed tomorrow. At times, I felt completely overwhelmed with the amount of stuff that needed to be packed up. Every time I turned around, there was something else I forgot about. The problem with the kitchen was that there were so many breakable items and really big appliances that took up an entire box by themselves. But it's over. Now I just have to unpack all of these boxes. Ugh.

I think I would be remiss in not mentioning something about Michael Jackson, the day after his sudden death. His music was pretty incredible, though his lifestyle was certainly strange. I can't hear "Beat It" or "Billie Jean" without thinking about my childhood. In the early '80s my parents would play their Thriller record ad nauseum. My dad taped the making of Thriller (which I'm not sure was entirely legal at the time) and my sister & I scared ourselves silly watching the full length version of the music video. A few years later, we enjoyed watching Moonwalker whenever they'd play it on MTV and made up our own lyrics & dance moves to all the songs. In the eighth grade, my best friend and I listened to my Dangerous cd almost every time we got together and thought it was the coolest album ever. Regardless of his eccentricities, Michael Jackson's music was always on in the background of my life growing up. He was truly a music legend.

On the Moving Front, Part 2

The moving process is chugging along slowly but surely. I've been trying to pack some boxes here and there whenever I get the chance. Colton's room is mostly all packed up; I've left out a few favorite toys and stuffed animals for him to play with until we actually do move. I finally organized and boxed up his "old" clothes that no longer fit him. There were so many that I could barely get the box closed- pajamas, onesies, pants, socks, shoes, coveralls. It will remain in storage until we know whether our second child is a boy or girl. If we have a girl, I'll either donate the clothes to Goodwill or gift them to a friend or family member who has a boy.

We decided to hold off on our garage sale until this weekend, because of the rain last Saturday. We are posting ads about it on Craigslist throughout the week and hoping we get a good turn out! The weather forecast for this Saturday is really stinky, but I hope it's wrong or the thunderstorms just hold out until after 2pm.

I finished digging through boxes in the garage, trying to determine what goes and what stays. I filled about 12 trash bags full of stuff that we're not keeping. In my search, I uncovered almost $20 in loose change, a crumpled five dollar bill in an old jacket pocket, school papers and projects dating back to when I was in junior high, an entire library's worth of books, and a whole lot of spiders (shudder). We even still have a lot of the equipment that was used when Gregg ran his own business that's been closed now for nearly four years.

I'm feeling good about our progress so far. The biggest task will be packing up the kitchen, so I'm saving that for last. Every time I think "we don't have that much stuff", I end up finding more & more things which reveals we really do have that much stuff. Sigh. Of course, the weather these past few days has been pretty craptastic (dark, gloomy, rain) so I have very little motivation to do anything move related. It's just a good day to curl up with a cup of coffee on the couch and read a book. I'm seriously wondering what happened to the nice, sunny June we were promised after such a long harsh winter. Okay, so we were never promised anything- I'm just complaining. :)

10 Months

Colton's reached the double digits! In about eight more weeks, we'll be celebrating his first birthday. Crazy.

For some reason, 10 months just seems so much older than 9 months. Colton's gross motor skills have really taken off recently. He doesn't exactly crawl, but he does move around quickly on all fours. It's more like creeping, I think. He never seems to go forward in a straight line, but he always gets to where he wants to go. Colton continually gets up on his hands and knees with his tummy up off the floor and rocks back & forth like he's going to crawl, but then his legs slide backwards and he's flat on his stomach again! He can also stand pretty well with assistance now, holding onto my hands or a piece of furniture.

He still does not have any teeth, but it hasn't stopped him from eating. We've moved him up to Stage 3 foods, since the portions are slightly larger and the consistency is chunkier. It's still hit or miss with me feeding him from a spoon, so I've started spreading out the contents of the jar on the highchair tray and letting him feed himself. He seems to tolerate me spoon feeding him better in the morning, when he's less cranky, than in the evening. Colton tried a few new foods this past month too like broccoli, steak, mashed potatoes, and spaghetti & meatballs. Lately he really wants to eat whatever we have on our plates. He'll lean forward, eyes wide, with an expression that's like, "Can I have some, Mom, huh? Can I, can I, can I?"

Even though he's eating more solids and continuing to drink the same amount of formula, it seems like his weight gain is tapering off. He only gained one pound between his most recent doctor's visit, on June 1, and the one before that, on April 6. And he dropped from the 90th percentile in weight to the 75th during that time also. I'm not too concerned; actually I'm kinda relieved that the weight gain has slowed down. He's still a very healthy and happy baby!

Just in the past week or so, Colton has started forming the "m" sound with his mouth. I could have sworn that he said mom the other day. :) I've been signing the word "more" to him every time I offer him more of something. One day six months from now he might catch on and sign back! I really do think he was trying to imitate the actual word a few days ago just as I was about to place another handful of Puffs in front of him. You can disagree, but I know what I heard. Oh, and apparently my son thinks the word "poop" is hysterical. I was changing his dirty diaper and said, "Somebody made a stinky poop", and he burst into laughter. Typical boy.

Colton discovered his love for banging toys on the table and dropping them on the floor. It drives me crazy sometimes that I am constantly picking them up. His favorite toys include soft blocks, nesting/stacking cups, his beach ball, and this freaky looking rubber shark that he got at the doctor's office. He still enjoys racing around in his walker and likes to grab things off of the tv stand, end tables, and shelf in the living room.

His sleep is still really good. I'm so thankful I have a child that doesn't fight taking his naps or going down for the night. As long as there aren't any other distractions in the room, he will usually go right out. If I stay in his room to put away laundry or something, then he'll want to stay awake because he doesn't want to miss anything. Most of the time Colton doesn't like me to rock him to sleep anymore. I always try to cuddle with him a little bit before putting him to bed, especially at night. He's started trying to push my arm away as I'm holding him in the rocker. I feel kinda sad about it, but I know it's time for him to just fall asleep on his own. So instead of fighting him, I place him in the crib and tell him goodnight or have a good nap and that I love him.

My little boy is certainly growing up! Here are some pictures (of course):

On the Moving Front...

... we have finally found a place to live!! We'll be renting a condo in a town about thirty minutes from where we are now, in what seems like a very family friendly community. It's a better commute for Gregg since it is less than five minutes from the highway, too. There is a pool and clubhouse in the development which we can use, and a playground is within walking distance. A fairly new shopping center is also just a short drive away with a Sam's Club, Babies 'R Us, Applebees, Walmart, etc. It is farther away from friends and family than we'd like, but it has a lot more advantages than any other place we looked at closer. And with me not having a car right now, I can walk around the development with Colton & Tess or go to the playground and actually meet some people like other SAHM's.

We are moving the last weekend of June, which means we don't have too much time to pack up and/or get rid of things. I am amazed (and overwhelmed) at the amount of crapola we've acquired and moved from place to place in our 6.5 years of marriage. I'm wondering why we even kept half the stuff we have. I know Gregg wants to keep things "in case we'll use them again someday". I'm like that to a certain degree, but now I'm at the point where I'd really just rather back a dumpster up to the house and start heaving.

I've been going through and listing stuff on Craigslist like crazy, and have actually sold over $200 worth of stuff last week. We're planning on also having a massive garage sale this Saturday to get rid of more things. Whatever we don't sell will probably be donated to the Salvation Army or just chucked.

Since we signed the lease agreement and paid our security deposit on Saturday, Gregg has already contacted the oil company, the electric company, and the cable company to have everything switched over. All we really have to do now is PACK. Have I mentioned before how much I hate packing?? We tried to unpack as little as possible when we moved back to NJ in November, knowing that we wouldn't be in this house all that long. It's still an annoying and daunting task, though. I just want to be settled in our new place and get rid of as much stuff as we can so that the less we bring with us, the easier the move will be. :)

Updates Again

Here is just another update in the life and times of the B household. On Saturday, Gregg and I went out on our date while my mother-in-law watched Colton. This was only the second time we've been out together alone since he was born. We dropped him off around 5 at her house, then drove to downtown Ridgewood a few towns away to have dinner. It was such a nice night that we decided to get a table outside. The food was very good, but the service unfortunately left a little to be desired.

After we finished our meal, we stopped in a coffee shop and quick fed the meter before taking a walk around with our drinks. There were dozens of other people milling about, mostly couples, but there were a few young families with kids in strollers which of course made me think of Coltie! We walked hand in hand, something we haven't done a lot of in the past nine months. Either one or both of us always has a hand full carrying the infant carrier or pushing the stroller when we go out.

We took our time heading back towards Gregg's parents' and enjoyed a nice drive through various neighborhoods that were all in full spring bloom. When we arrived to pick up Colton, he was sitting with Grandma on the couch in his pjs watching tv because he refused to go to sleep! My MIL said he was very good for her, but he just would not go to sleep in the crib they have. He also fussed a lot during his diaper change, which isn't unusual since he does that with me. She also said that after about an hour, he started to realize that we were gone. As soon as Colton saw me, his face crumpled so I picked him up right away and kissed him. Then all was right with the world. I really appreciated being able to go out for a few hours and do the husband & wife thing now that we're mommy & daddy 24-7.

Last night, we took Colton for his 9 month well visit. He's in the 75th percentile this time for both height and weight. He grew two inches and gained only one pound since the last appointment, putting him at 22 lbs and 29 inches. The doctor wasn't concerned that he isn't pulling up to stand yet. Everything with him looked fine and he got three more shots, to catch him up from what he missed during the time we didn't have insurance. Colton screamed throughout the entire visit, and I felt so bad for him. He kept looking at me with this petrified look on his face and tears in his eyes. I almost started crying myself! We were in and out of there in under an hour, the good thing about having an appointment on a Monday evening. Now we don't have to go back until Colton's a year old. I can't believe that'll be in just 2 1/2 months.

In other news, I've been throwing stuff out and putting things on Craigslist in preparation for another move. We knew from the beginning that the place we're in now was only temporary, and we're very grateful we've been able to stay here as long as we have, but now it's time for us to find somewhere else. The search for a place to live thus far has been fruitless and frustrating. They've either been too far away from Gregg's job, or too expensive, or within our budget but, shall we say, crappy? Then there was the condo that this lady who was moving out of state wanted to rent to us, but it turned out that it's a low income housing unit and she's not allowed to rent it out. Someone found out and snitched on her, so right after she offered it to us she had to withdraw the offer. We're going to look at a place tonight when Gregg gets off of work, and hopefully it's the right fit. I'm tired of looking and not knowing where we're going to end up. Hopefully I'll have some good news to post soon!

Memorial Day Weekend

Our holiday weekend started out with Gregg's family reunion on Saturday. Relatives came from different parts of the country to New Jersey for a day of fun, food, and catching up. The reunion was held at an aunt and uncle's home in Northern NJ. Rain had been forecasted all week, but by Friday it looked like we were actually going to have nice sunny weather.

When we arrived, we received goodie bags with the particular color t-shirt that designated which generation we're in. Colton was instantly snatched up by one of Gregg's cousin's wives and introduced to everybody. There were games for the kids and adults, prizes, and enough food to feed another entire family. The rain held out until just after we got through dinner, when we all gathered in the garage for a slideshow of photos showing the four generations of family members.

I'll admit, I was expecting the event to be somewhat boring and I was nervous about how Colton would do being out for that many hours, but we all had a great time. I had already met most of Gregg's relatives on his father's side and it was nice to see them again, as well as meet some others for the first time. One thing I've always appreciated about my husband's family is that they are so welcoming and I have never felt like an outsider. I'm treated as part of the family, instead of just someone who married in.

Throughout the day, I had people willing to help me with Colton or hold him for a little while so I could eat or do something else. And he was just fine the whole time. He hardly made a peep and took two naps, one in a pack 'n play in the back bedroom and the other in his daddy's arms. Whatever I forgot to bring, I was able to borrow from somebody else since two of Gregg's cousins have babies that are close to Colton's age. The babies took turns using a high chair, monitor, and toys. In the evening as things were winding down, I changed Coltie into his jammies and he was asleep just a few minutes after we got him in the car.

The next day, we hung out with the other side of Gregg's family for our niece's 2nd birthday party. Colton woke up at 6:45 that morning, apparently missing the memo that Mommy wanted to sleep in! I stumbled out of bed, made a bottle, fed him and changed him. Then I brought him into our bed and we all fell asleep for the next hour. A few hours later we got ready for the party. We stopped at Target along the way to pick up a gift and arrived ten minutes before it started.

I didn't have a very good time there since it started raining just as we began eating, and Colton was super crabby because his whole schedule was thrown off and I had to wake him up from his nap so we could make it to the party on time. He didn't appreciate being passed around like a bag of chips, either. After eating, Gregg brought him into the house away from all the noise and he was fine playing on the living room floor until it was time for Katelyn to open her presents. During present time, Colton thankfully fell asleep in his stroller. He was still cranky even after the short nap and drinking a bottle, so I suggested leaving as soon as we could get our stuff together.

On Monday we slept in until almost 8 and kept Colton home so that he could get back on his regular schedule and have the naps he needed. Gregg went out for a couple of hours to look at a few apartments, since we plan on moving again within the next month. (Oh, joy!) He came back bearing ice cream for the two of us. After we ate lunch, Gregg ran out again to his brother's house to pick up something he left there at the party. I put Colton down for his afternoon nap and spent some time online. When Gregg came home, the three of us had our own little barbeque and ate outside.

All in all, it was a great weekend. I enjoyed being able to get out of the house and have real grown-up conversations! Gregg is back at work today and this week should fly by because he only has four days left now. Then on Saturday, my mother-in-law is taking Colton for a few hours so we can actually go on a date! I am so looking forward to that. I hope everyone else had a wonderful weekend. :)

Here are some pictures from the reunion:


Our branch of the family tree (from L to R): Me holding Colton, Gregg, Gregg's mom Lynn, his dad Bill, sister Lori, brother Jeff and his wife Liz with their daughter Katelyn.


Our baby wrapped in toilet paper (it was for one of the games- he had a blast playing with it).


Colton looks as if he's plotting to escape the reunion with his hands clasped together like that.


The poor little guy was all tuckered out towards the end.

My Baby Love

... isn't such a baby anymore.

This past Saturday while I was in Target, I had to shop for him in the toddler section already. How is that even possible? Didn't I just bring him home from the hospital in newborn size clothes that were falling off of him?

Colton has now been around as long on the outside of me as he was on the inside. And I think I love him a little bit more each month. Each month that passes brings new skills, new awareness, and more of his budding personality. His little brain is soaking up every new experience, word, and picture, and storing it away for the future.

While I delight in seeing him become more independent, it means every day he needs me a little less. He is totally capable of feeding himself, and would prefer to do so rather than me spoon feed him. The other night Colton basically ate what we were eating- meatloaf and mixed veggies. He actually quite enjoyed the meatloaf, and I was really surprised! I don't anticipate having any problems weaning him off the bottle in the next couple of months. I think he would rather drink from his sippy anyway.

Any day now I'm expecting him to say a real word. He sorta says "dada". Of course I start coaching him to say "mama", but it's harder for him to form the m sound. I love hearing him babble on.

Yesterday he discovered how to crawl backwards. He made it all the way from the living room to the kitchen and was covered in dog hair when I picked him up. (Oops, I guess I should do a better job of cleaning the floor!) This is the baby who hated being on his tummy?? Colton now mostly sleeps on his stomach. I always put him to sleep initially on his back, but he flips over. When I go get him in the mornings or after naps, he has marks on his face from the crib sheet or a hand print.

He has reached that weird in-between stage where he's definitely no longer a helpless infant, but he's not quite a big boy yet. As I was choosing clothes for the him the other day, I kept wanting to veer towards all the adorable baby outfits, but had to stop and remind myself that he's already outgrown anything he could wear in that category. Yup, Colton's come a long way from that teeny tiny newborn I first met in hospital room #575 on a mid-August day.

It's Not Every Day

... that you look out your window and see this.
























I had just come upstairs from moving laundry in the basement and walked into the kitchen where I could see the bear straight ahead through one of our back windows. I was a little freaked out to say the least, but I still had the presence of mind to grab the camera and snap a few pictures.
























Here's "Yogi" sauntering down our driveway. He was scared off by the two neighbor dogs barking from their yard.
























And here he is walking across the street like he doesn't have a care in the world ( and hadn't just scared the crap out of me).
























He eventually wound up going into another neighbor's front yard.

I had a weird feeling he would make another appearance today. Around 7:30 this morning while I was in the shower, I heard loud banging on the front door and Tess barking like crazy. I thought, it's too early for a delivery guy. Who in the world is that? Then I thought it might be a neighbor doing the good neighborly thing and wanting to warn me that there was a bear roaming around. Sure enough, the animal winds up in. our. backyard. For the second time in two weeks. Unless that knocking was the bear itself wanting some honey!

Weekend Wrap-up

I can't believe how fast this month is flying by. Wasn't it just April? Another weekend over, another week has started.

This past weekend was pretty nice. I got to spend some "me time" on Saturday. Gregg helped his brother dig a hole in his backyard for the pool he and his wife are putting in and suggested that I drop him off and take the car for the day. So Colton and I rode along with Gregg to the Bobcat rental place on the highway at 7 am, then I drove back home and fed/changed Coltie, put him down for a nap, ate breakfast, showered, and packed the diaper bag.

It had been a while since I went anywhere with Colton alone, so I knew it would be somewhat of a process to actually get out the door. When he woke up, I had to feed and change him again. We were both finally ready to head out just before noon when I picked Colton up and instantly recognized that familiar stench. Back to the nursery to change him yet again. I quick changed the stinky diaper and we were finally on our way.

I had to stop by Target to pick up a prescription so I figured I would do some shopping too. I bought Colton a couple of cute shirts for about $5 each and a pack of batteries which Gregg asked me to get. I had lunch there in the snack area while my baby happily ate Cheerios off of the tray on his stroller. Before leaving to meet up with Gregg at my brother and sister-in-law's, I gave Colton another bottle and did diaper change #5 of the day. I was very glad that he was so good at the store, even though the trip cut into his afternoon naptime. He did fall asleep in the car shortly after I got onto the highway, but I had to wake him up when we arrived at Jeff and Liz's.

Jeff and Gregg were not even close to being done, mostly because they kept hitting rock when digging. We ended up staying there until after 7 and having pizza with them. It was a good thing I had packed an extra bottle and diapers! After Colton started getting fussy, I put him down in his cousin Kate's room for a nap and he only slept for about an hour. By that time, he was overtired and didn't go down easily. He cried and cried so I had to hold and rock him before putting him in the crib. He did enjoy going in Katelyn's swing outside and playing with her toys for a while. Then at dinner, he was super cranky again. When we got home, I changed him into his jammies and he went right out. The two of us were asleep ourselves not too long after Colton.

The next day we didn't do too much, since Gregg was pretty beat after working outside all day and we didn't have to go to his parents for Sunday dinner because they were visiting his sister in North Carolina. We did venture out later that afternoon to look at an apartment for rent. It was in a nice area in a good school district, but it ended up being a third floor walk-up. With a kid and a dog, we want to avoid going up and down stairs as much as possible. On the way home, we stopped at a supermarket and bought a paper to check out more rental ads in the area.

It was really nice to be able to get out on my own with Colton and do my "bumblebee shopping", as Gregg calls it. It drives him crazy when I zig zag all over a store with no clear direction. He always has to have a well executed plan when we go shopping so we spend the least amount of time possible looking for what we need. It was also really nice to be able to interact with other adults this weekend! I miss that.

9 Months!

My baby is nine months old today. Already 3/4 of his first year has gone by. I can't believe he only has three more months before turning the big 1!

Colton continues to amaze me with what he can do. He wants to do a lot of things on his own already, which can be frustrating because it feels like a battle of the wills sometimes between us. It is also pretty neat though, watching him grow into this little person who is constantly exploring the world around him.

He is so intrigued by everything these days, and anything (literally anything) can become a plaything. Last night at dinner we let him have the top to the pasta sauce pan (it had cooled down) and he had a blast turning it, banging it, and trying to chew on it while we finished eating. Colton likes to examine his toys while playing with them, too. He'll chew on something for a while, then take it out of his mouth and look at it carefully, then back in the mouth it goes! He really likes toys that play music, such as his Fisher Price telephone. His face lights up when he hears the kiddie voice singing the Alphabet Song or something else.

Colton has become quite good at feeding himself and he'll try just about anything we put in front of him. So far he's tried bits of soft cooked pasta, green beans, cheese (yellow American and Mozzarella), bagel, and watermelon. He holds onto his sippy cup with one hand and feeds himself with the other. And he LOVES Puffs. It doesn't matter what flavor, he gets all excited when he sees the container and promptly spits out his binky when we put a few down in front of him. We will sometimes hide them behind a toy or his cup and encourage him to find them. He's gotten really good at this game and the reward is always the yummy Puff and praise from us! Colton is now eating two meals of solids a day (cereal & jar of Stage 2 fruit in the morning, Stage 2 veggie or meat/veggie combo in the evening) with two snacks in between meals, in addition to the 24 oz. of formula he's been getting since about 5 months.

He's no longer content to just stay in my arms and snuggle in close (except at naptime and bedtime); he is a baby on the move! Whenever I'm holding him, he tries to reach for something interesting within his grasp. He barely sits still on my lap anymore to take his bottle. He's always looking all around, squirming to get free. Colton now takes control of how much he wants at a time. When he has to burp or doesn't want any more, he grabs the bottle and pushes it away.

Around the end of April he finally learned how to roll from his tummy to his back, and now there's no stopping him. He rolls all over the place to get to where he wants to go. Sometimes he'll rock back and forth on his hands and knees like he's going to start crawling, but he's not quite there yet. He does push himself backwards, however. Yesterday he found himself under the end table in the living room for the first time and thought that was pretty cool.

Colton is so expressive now, making all kinds of faces and gesturing. He "chatters" almost non-stop to his toys and us. He's added a few more syllables and sounds to his baby talk. Sometimes it seems like he is acting out a scene from a play with all his banter. He is such a ham, too. He'll do something funny, then watch for our response.

I've had to pack away nearly all of Colton's 6-9 month clothes and move him up to a size 4 diaper. He's the size of most one year olds already. He has a lot more hair and it is coming in beautiful! Not too fine, not too coarse. Until I got pregnant I always had really thin hair and Gregg's hair is thick, so I think Colton got the happy medium between the two. He's looking so much like a little Dutch boy these days (Gregg is mostly Dutch).

Here are some pictures (shocker) from the last month:

Mother's Day Weekend

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all you mommies!

I had a very nice weekend, which, after a particularly frustrating week, was much needed. It started out with some unexpected excitement Friday night. I had just put Colton to bed and we were digging into our Chinese take-out, when Tess began barking at something outside. Gregg got up to see what she was so worked up about and saw a pretty decent sized bear lumbering through the trees just beyond our backyard fence.

Now black bears are known to roam this part of New Jersey (and you thought it was all just a bunch of oil refineries), but they're usually harmless. They just go about looking for stuff to eat and love to dig in people's trash cans. This bear was pretty nonchalant that it had just wandered onto our property. Gregg quickly shut the windows, however, which were wide open. Shortly after I came over to gawk at the bear, the neighbor's dog that had gotten out of his yard ran up to it and chased it up a tree. The bear just couldn't be bothered. It stayed up in one of our trees for a good while, shaking the branches so hard that they stratched against the roof of the house. It started down the tree when the coast seemed clear, but the dog came charging back.

I told Gregg he should probably let the neighbor know that their dog was loose and chasing after a bear. He went out the front door and a few minutes later, the couple next door came out into their yard and called their dog back. When the commotion ended, the bear climbed down the tree and went off on his way, but not before Gregg could take a picture of it!

On Saturday, we were busy getting the house and yard ready for our Mother's Day BBQ. Later that afternoon, I filled out some more pages of Colton's baby book and read for a little while. Gregg went over to his parents' to pick up a folding table and some other things, and when he came home we finished watching The Family Man on tv and ate dinner.

Sunday I woke up to find colorful messages written by Colton via his daddy on several windows throughout the house. Gregg said that Colton saw these really cool Crayola Window Crayons in the store and asked to get them. :) He spent most of the morning setting up stuff outside and then his family started arriving around 12:30. The weather was beautiful, although it became quite cool in the shade so most of us threw on sweatshirts about an hour into the picnic. The guys did everything- cooked the food, served the ladies. Gregg even fed and changed Colton for me. It was really nice to sit back and be pampered for a few hours. There was some clean up afterwards, but even that was minimal since everyone pitched in to help.

Gregg's mom, dad, and grandpa were the last ones to leave about 4:30. We spent another half an hour ourselves finishing the clean up and then relaxed for the rest of the night. After putting Colton to bed, we watched the season finales of The Amazing Race and Celebrity Apprentice.

I went to bed feeling really blessed that I have such a wonderful husband and son. My first Mother's Day as a mommy made me remember just how incredible and amazing it is to be one!























Me with my little boy. Never mind my crooked smile and the fact that Colton looks so serious, even almost annoyed that his picture was being taken. Don't let it fool you; that's his poker face, he's really smiling on the inside.


Colton's beautiful artwork!

A Few Days Later

It's been a few days since my last "post of despair", and I want you all to know that I am feeling better. Good, in fact. Even purposeful.

This past week was just really difficult. Colton is at this stage where he's got a bit of an attitude, throwing hissy fits several times a day. I know it's because he's becoming more independent and all that, but I don't like it. I feel a little bit like I'm already losing my sweet little baby. And it hasn't helped that it's been so gray, cool, and drizzly here practically every day.

I think I'm done with the pity party for now, though. After all, I can remember last fall really wanting to be able to stay at home and feeling miserable that I had to go to work and be away from my son. It is pretty stinkin' amazing to watch him grow right before my eyes and not miss a single milestone of his, no matter how small. The last few days however had me thinking, dear Lord, how can I ever have another one of these?

Colton is really starting to show more of his personality and desire to do things on his own. I can't believe he's going to be 9 months old one week from today. There are a lot of updates on what he's been doing lately, but I think I'll wait to share them until my "nine months" post next week.

Gregg volunteered us to host Mother's Day this Sunday, since right now we have the room to have his whole family over and give his mom a break from the usual Sunday dinner affair. The men in each family are in charge of bringing something, like a dessert or side. In addition to obviously providing the house for the event, we are also supplying paper plates, cups, utensils, napkins, and drinks. It should be a good time. I used to get really stressed out about having a whole bunch of people over, but I'm looking forward to it.

This will be my first Mother's Day as an actual, well, mother. It's still a little unbelievable that I am somebody's mom. Incredible.

Isolated

That's how I've been feeling lately. The drawback to staying at home full-time. Yesterday at least I was able to get out of the house with Colton and go for a walk since it was so nice out. Today, not so much. It's back down in the 50s again.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade being a SAHM for working 8 hours a day in some office and being away from my baby. It's just... a little lonely sometimes. I feel a bit like I'm in the movie "Groundhog Day" where every day is exactly the same. What makes this even harder is that I still don't have my own car. I do have friends I could call and hang out with, but I feel lame asking them to be the ones to always come over or pick me up to do something. The farthest I can go on my own is half a mile in either direction of our house. I can't run to the store for something. I can't meet up with a friend at the mall. I can't go to Bible Study every week because it's too far a walk. I can't even drop Colton off at my mother-in-law's for an hour or two while I get my nails done or something.

I love my son to pieces and wouldn't want to leave him in daycare if I could help it (which right now I can). It's just that I'm with him all. the. time. I feel like I need a break from the constant cycle of feeding, changing, screaming (and screaming some more). It's nerve wracking when Colton is crying or whining and I'm trying to get dinner made on time. Or fold laundry. Or clean the bathroom. Or talk on the phone.

It's frustrating when diaper changes turn into a wrestling match between the two of us. When he wakes up an hour early from his nap and won't stop screaming until I pick him up, and all the plans I had of actually doing something productive during that time go out the window.

The positive thing about being with Colton all the live long day, however, is that I know what he needs and when & how he needs it. Back when he was first born, I felt a lot like I kept being given an exam I hadn't studied for and knew for sure I was going to fail. And it was the most important exam of my life. Now, I can change a diaper and prepare a bottle in my sleep. I've realized that the knowledge I need to do this mothering thing well comes from watching and studying my son's cues, much more than reading any book. (Not that I can't learn anything from a well written book on parenting, or even another mother's blog for that matter).

I'm also still bummed about our church situation, my concerns about the nursery being what they are. We haven't gone to service in a few weeks, and I am not okay with that. We've talked about attending another church that we're interested in, a little farther away. But still, we're not entirely comfortable leaving Colton in their nursery where we don't know anybody. We could take him into the service with us and I'd leave if he got fussy, provided they have a crying room with the service actually broadcasted. Our current church has no such thing, unfortunately.

All these things combined have me feeling a little lost to be honest. Not to sound cliche, but becoming a mom has left me wondering just who I am anymore. I'm not the same person I was before having Colton. There was a definite line drawn on August 14, 2008 between the old me and the new me. For the longest time, I felt deeply that I was supposed to be a mother. I never really felt called to do anything else. It was going to be my great purpose in life.

But as I sit here, I wonder what great purpose there is in changing the 1500th diaper or preparing a bowl of cereal that will mostly end up either on my baby or on the highchair. I know, I know. All of this adds up to taking care of another human being so that he can thrive and grow up to become something great and eventually fulfill his purpose. And I'm staying home with him so that he won't be raised by somebody else. I know this, and yet it's hard to see through all the feedings, changings, tears, laundry and dishes.

Heatwave

Who knew we would have a heatwave in April?? It was in the high 80s and low 90s over Saturday and Sunday, and we were completely unprepared for it. I had to go digging in a box for some short sleeves, which I hadn't worn in almost two years since last summer I was wearing all maternity clothes. We finally caved in and turned on the air conditioner yesterday after coming home from Gregg's parents', because the temperature in the house had gotten up to almost 90 degrees!

Despite the heat, we still managed to have a pretty nice weekend. On Saturday we went by my mom's for dinner as planned. Colton didn't have a good nap in the afternoon (figures), and earlier that day he ate one too many Cheerios or something and threw up his entire breakfast all over himself, me, and the high chair. Then about an hour before we were supposed to leave, he was sitting in his bouncy seat and rocked back & forth so hard that it went over and fell on top of him. He wasn't hurt thankfully, but he gave himself (and me) a real good scare. Needless to say, we're not using the bouncer anymore. I felt like I deserved the world's worst mother award that day. I almost called my mom to tell her we weren't coming.

But around three, we ended up leaving anyway. Colton was cranky from the second we walked in and dinner wasn't ready until shortly after six, even though my mom had gotten several Italian covered dishes which only needed to be reheated in the oven. It was so uncomfortable in their house since she wouldn't turn on the air, but kept insisting that all of us go outside on the deck where there was a breeze.

While I was eating, my mom came over and offered to babysit for Colton sometime when Gregg and I want to go out. I looked at her like she was crazy. In fact, I almost said those very words out loud. My mother's house is not baby/kid friendly at all. She is never of any help to me with him, either when we go there to visit or she comes here. When we still lived in PA and she was visiting for the weekend, she admitted she didn't even know how to feed him a bottle or put him in the bouncer. There is no way I would ever leave Colton alone with my mom because she doesn't know how to take care of him. I'm really surprised that my sister and I actually turned out as normal as we are.

The only saving grace of this visit was getting to see my sister and stepsister. Since my mom unfortunately always makes Gregg feel so unwelcome at her house, it was good for him to interact with my brother-in-law, Bill, and Willie, my stepsister's husband. Colton enjoyed the attention he got from everyone, especially my stepsister's kids who played with him and fed him Puffs. After being passed around like a bag of chips for three hours however, he desperately needed to go to sleep. We left a little bit after seven since we were also both pretty spent ourselves, and took a plate of desserts home since we didn't get to eat any there.

Yesterday afternoon, Gregg's aunt, uncle, and cousins joined the usual Sunday dinner crowd at his parents since we were celebrating two anniversaries and two birthdays. It is amazing the difference between my mother's home and my in-laws'. Since my MIL watches our two year old niece, she has a crib, a high chair, and changing table which is fully stocked. She even has a supply of formula, diapers, and baby food for Colton so we don't have to bring all that stuff with us every time we come. It's hard enough to pack up a baby and go somewhere without worrying where you're going to change him or where he'll take a nap. The time we were over at my mom's in February, she said we should come more often. My response to that was, we would if you'd make your house a little more baby friendly!

During the visit to my mother's Saturday, both my sister and stepfather asked when we were going to have another baby. I told them both the same thing: probably not for another two years at least, please let me get through this first year with Colton. I am nowhere close to wanting a second child right now. To facing another nine months of nausea, constipation, soreness, restless sleep and irritability that will end with another painful surgery. And possibly another bout of depression and anxiety. Only this time it will be with a toddler in tow.

I never wanted to be that woman who poo poos the idea of having a second kid after only one. Sometimes I wish I could be like Mrs. Duggar, and wholeheartedly embrace the idea of having 18 children (and then actually have all 18 of those kids). Yes I agree with her that children are a blessing from the Lord, but that doesn't mean I want to have 18!! I'm struggling with the concept of having two.

Anyway, it'll be a while yet before I have to think about being pregnant again. Currently I'm sitting here in the air conditioning hoping this heat breaks soon. I wanted it to get warmer, but not like this!

An Update and Pictures

Colton's "tummy troubles" from last week have improved a lot. After a few nights of me going in to put him on his back again and sticking the binky back in his mouth, he just learned to deal with being on his stomach. He only cried a little bit the past couple of nights when he found himself on his tummy, and then eventually he started sleeping through the night again. On Sunday morning I found him sleeping with his hands crossed, his face resting on his hands. It was so cute! He did roll over onto his back Sunday too, but hasn't done it since.

Later that afternoon while we were at Gregg's parents, it looked like Colton was going to start crawling. He didn't quite get the hang of getting his knees up under himself, though, and got frustrated and cried. It was time to eat lunch anyway, so we picked him up and put him at the table in his highchair. I'm not really worried whether he crawls or not. It's not even considered a milestone anymore now that the "Back to Sleep" program has been in effect. It would make me feel a little better if he does start, to just be more confident that he's headed in the right direction developmentally. On my August 2008 Mommies Forum at WTE, I've read that a lot of other babies Colton's age haven't started crawling yet either. Reading what other mothers have to say about various topics like feeding and napping makes me feel pretty confident that he's right on target for this stage. We're all trying to figure out this mommy thing together, and it's nice to know I'm not alone!

Other than that, things are going pretty well. Colton is eating and sleeping great. We had a bad thunderstorm last night, and he didn't even wake up. He's still more interested in eating stuff off his highchair tray than off the spoon. Yesterday and today he put both hands in his bowl of cereal and shoved fistfuls of the gooey mixture into his mouth. What a mess. Thankfully he's washable.

I haven't gotten around to calling anybody at the church yet to discuss my concerns about the nursery, since every time it crosses my mind I get distracted. Either a baby cries, or I think about all the one hundred other things that need my attention. We didn't go to church on Sunday. Instead, we slept until 8am (Colton too) and made pancakes for breakfast.

I'm looking forward to the weather being nice again this weekend. It's been gray and dreary the past few days, boo. Last weekend was gorgeous, in the 60s and 70s. On Saturday, we had my dad over for dinner. Gregg grilled up some steaks and I made some mashed potatoes & veggies to go with, as well as a cake for dessert.

Visits with my father are always... interesting. When we get together, he tells the same stories I've heard since I was born. All about his days as a plane mechanic in Vietnam, and how he fixed up the house I grew up in. My dad is retired and lives alone. He doesn't have many social engagements throughout the week and doesn't even own a computer. We actually showed him how to use the internet and let him view the blog we started when we found out I was pregnant. He was a bit overwhelmed, to say the least.

This Saturday, we're supposed to go to my mom & stepdad's. My sister and her husband will be in town visiting and my stepsister and her family are joining us too. Having other people there we want to see always helps "cushion" seeing my mom, who I've already mentioned can be... tough to deal with. So it should be a nice time.


I love his eyes in this photo.


The young and the... well, old.


Enjoying bathtime. Colton has a blast playing in the tub with his toys and splashing water!

Enough With the Changes, Already!

For the past few days, Colton has been waking up from his naps and overnight screaming for me because he's flipped over onto his tummy and doesn't know how to get onto his back again. I found him this morning struggling to turn over, but he was trying to go in the direction of the bumper and kept getting stuck! I feel so bad for him. It makes me think that he will probably skip crawling and go straight to walking, since he can't stand to be on his belly. I plan on at least attempting to help him get the hang of rolling from his tummy to his back during tummy time by guiding his hands and feet the way they should go.

There isn't too much else to report. Except that I've been extremely frustrated with our church's nursery lately, to the point where I won't bring Colton there until some problems are resolved. For the past several weeks, the beepers have all had dead or dying batteries in them. How can you reach a parent when you need to with defunct pagers? Sometime last month, one of the nursery workers fastened Colton's diaper so tight that he was crying when we came to get him and his onesie wasn't even snapped. In fact, it was kind of sloppily sticking out of his pants.

Two weeks ago when I went to pick him up and asked how he did, the frazzled lady holding him informed me that he had been really fussy the whole time so she decided to feed him. Even though I specifically said when we dropped him off, that he had just been fed and changed right before we left the house so he wouldn't need a bottle. I elaborated by saying that he'd most likely need a nap during that time. As far as I know, nobody put him down in one of the cribs or swings to snooze though. I was told that after eating, Colton seemed okay but still a bit fussy and they assumed he had gas. Nope. People, he was just TIRED. I wondered what in the world they fed him since I hadn't prepared and packed any bottles for him. Then I saw the empty Similac container on the edge of the changing station. It was one of those ready-made bottles I got in the hospital and just chucked in the diaper bag in case of an emergency.

I am glad that they tried to soothe him and were resourceful enough to feed him something, had he really been hungry. What concerns me is that my instructions, as his mother, were ignored and that since it sounded like he was in distress and they had no idea what might be wrong, nobody bothered to come get me in the sanctuary. It always seems a bit chaotic in there when we pick him up after service, too.

So we're faced with a real dilemma. I don't feel comfortable leaving Colton for an hour in nursery anymore, but I also know that he would be a huge distraction if we brought him into the service with us. I'm sure the nursery volunteers have the best of intentions; I'm just not confident most of them actually know what to do with a baby. GPBC is a great church, but it is run the old school way where it relies heavily on volunteers for everything. There is no paid children's coordinator, even though the congregation consists of many families with four or more children.

Gregg and I have discussed that GPBC might not be the place for us anymore, for other reasons. Our needs are different than they were four years ago before we left NJ. Our family is different. Still, I'm having a hard time accepting that we seem to no longer "fit" there. After all that looking for a church during last year, I was so relieved and glad to be able to plug right back into the church we had already been such a part of. Shortly after we moved back here all the pieces started falling into place, and they had been so disjointed for such a long time. I know that where we're living right now is also only temporary, and we could end up finding a place that is too far away from our present church home.

So I guess I just have to roll with the punches and deal with the fact that life changes. I just want some stability after all the moves we've made recently. To fall into a familiar, predictable routine. To not have to figure out how to belong in yet one more place.

8 Months

Today my baby boy turns eight months old. He is definitely not a helpless little infant anymore.

He started feeding himself Puffs and Cheerios a couple of weeks ago and is now a pro at it. He can pick up his sippy cup in both hands with no problem and slurps the juice vigorously as it dribbles down his chin and onto his bib. Colton continues to grab the spoon away from me at the beginning of every mealtime. He loves waving it around and chewing on it, while I feed him with another. I think it may be time to introduce more finger foods because he doesn't seem too interested in eating what's offered on the spoon.

He can now pass an object from one hand to another effortlessly and understands that when a toy falls on the floor or rolls out of his sight, it hasn't disappeared. My little guy finds his binky after it's gotten lost somewhere in his crib and pops it back in his mouth. He's such a smarty.

He's begun protesting in the mornings and evenings when I get him dressed. He gets all worked up and it can be really stressful to change him in and out of clothes. As soon as I pick him up off the changing table, he's just fine and dandy though! Colton has certainly learned how to voice his opinion and say (in the only way he knows how) "I don't like that, Mommy!"

On the flip side, he has also learned how to show his affection by reaching out to touch mine and his daddy's faces. Sometimes he'll grab my cheek or hair just to see what will happen. I want to be mad at him because it really really hurts, but then he squeals and grins and I end up smiling too! He doesn't understand the word no yet. Sigh.

Colton's still getting over his cold from last week. He's got a runny nose, which is kinda gross, but sleeps through the night okay thanks to the makers of Vicks.

Here are some more cute pictures of him over the last month, including a couple from Colton's first Easter:






Who is the fairest baby of them all?


All dressed up for Easter Sunday


Checking out the Easter goodies he got from Grandma

I'm Not Such A Bad Mother After All

I am in a fog right now. Colton woke up twice over night, badly congested. So I turned on his humidifier and used the snot sucker, which he tried to grab out of my hand and put in his mouth. Ew. Then I rocked him back to sleep and crawled into bed, praying that he would stay asleep until it was time for me to get up.

I saw this coming. Gregg caught something last week, then I began having a sore throat. I knew it was only a matter of time until our sickness got passed onto our offspring. Colton had a pretty cranky morning. After changing his second poopy diaper of the day and having him scream throughout the changing, I got him down for his nap. Thankfully, he's been sleeping peacefully since about 11:45.

It didn't help that last night we took him to the pediatrician (a.k.a. "the owie place") for his 6 month-even though he's almost 8 months-visit and he got three shots. Overall, the appointment went very well. Colton is in the 90th percentile for weight and 75th for height. He tipped the scales at 21 lbs. and is 27" in length.

We were given the requisite "How To Not Kill Your Child" pamphlet and a book about what to expect during baby's first year. Or as I see it, "The Do's and Don'ts of Motherhood"- reading that is both useful and anxiety producing, as I ponder whether I've done irreversible psychological harm to my kid by not getting down on the floor with him every day to play.

I discussed Colton's daily mealtime schedule with the doctor and she didn't have any concerns, other than my giving him meat before 9 months. She said that if he's tolerating it well (i.e. not constipated), meat is okay once a day at this stage. She told us that he appears to be growing and developing as he should, instead of "you have a freakishly large baby", which is always a relief to hear.

After she left the room, the nurse came in to administer the shots. Colton screamed of course, but he was over the trauma by the time I picked him up off of the exam table. He had fun ripping the table's paper cover to shreds while Gregg dressed him in his pajamas. On the way out, we were given free samples of Similac (yay!) and scheduled another visit for the beginning of June.

It was great to be reassured that I'm doing something right and that my son is thriving because of the choices I've made. This mothering thing sure isn't easy, but it's nice to know I'm not totally failing at it.

One of Those Scattered Posts

As I sit here looking out the window, I'm wondering what this weather is up to... it seems like it's 60 degrees and sunny one day, and then 40 and rainy the next! I can't wait until it's consistently warm and bright outside. I did take advantage of one of the really nice days last week by taking Colton for a walk in the stroller. It was almost 70, and as we walked up and down our street I envisioned us being able to go soon to the park or zoo as a family. I am really looking forward to all the warm weather activities we can do with our little boy. I can't believe he'll be 8 months old next Tuesday!

So Gregg recently had his 90 day review at work, and they are so pleased with his performance that they gave him a raise already!! In a time when companies are laying off people and cutting back spending, my husband was given a pay increase. We are both blown away. God just keeps showering us with blessings.

This past weekend we decided to cruise through some neighborhoods that we'd like to move to so that Gregg can cut down on his commute. He wanted to show me where he works so we went there, and then ended up stopping by my dad's place on the way home and surprising him. We took him out for a bite to eat and talked for about an hour and a half. It was a really good visit, and I know that he appreciated us taking the time to come around to his neck of the woods.

On Sunday we went to the second service at church so we didn't have to rush around trying to get ready. During service, I was reminded of how I should be reflecting on Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for me as this week leads up to Easter. After church, we went to Gregg's parents' like usual. We stayed for a while after dinner was over and talked while Grandma played with Colton.

On the way home, we stopped to look at some apartments. They were nice, but too expensive. The cheaper one was kind of small and I really just couldn't envision us actually living there. Unfortunately, the rent in this part of the state is ridiculous. We have to rent right now because the house prices in NJ are still too high even with the housing market in a slump. Then you add property taxes and insurance which are both through the roof. We're hoping to find something decent that doesn't break the bank. Wherever we go, we plan on staying for a number of years so the school system also has to be good.

It would be so much cheaper to live practically anywhere else, but then again Gregg wouldn't have the kind of job he has now and we wouldn't be close to family. I'm feeling once more that desire to be settled. I'm tired of moving and getting used to one place only to be uprooted yet again. I just have to focus on and remember all that the Lord has done and is doing for us. It's so easy for me to become disgruntled.

The Winter Wedding Story

So, Angela has asked me to share the story of why Gregg and I were wed in the frigid month of January. The sweet, poor unsuspecting girl.

Got an hour? Or two??

We were originally planning on getting married the last Saturday in May. However, it just so happened that my mom was going to be remarried this same year at the end of April. She felt that our wedding date was too close to hers. She actually told me that she didn't think it would be fair to ask friends and family members to attend two such big events practically back to back, and would I be willing to consider pushing back my wedding to maybe sometime in the summer or fall?

So I go to Gregg (who, bless his heart doesn't back out even though he's slowly beginning to realize just what kind of mother-in-law he's getting) with the idea. He says he does not want to get married during the really hot summer months because the thought of sweltering in a rented tux for ten+ hours is less than desirable. He also does not want to push our wedding date back any further than that, since it would then be about a year away and he didn't want to wait that long to marry me (awww, how sweet). He thinks my mom is being unreasonable and that I should tell her so.

So we're back to May 31. I tell my mother that after discussing it with Gregg, we've decided to stick with our original date. She's not happy. At all. Have I mentioned previously that she wasn't thrilled about me getting engaged to begin with? She thought I was too young at 23 (she was married at 21) and that I hadn't dated Gregg long enough (we had only been together about two months).

She is adamant that my wedding be far enough from hers where it won't "cause any conflict for relatives". I go back to Gregg and explain the situation. He begins to get frustrated that I'm caving in to her pressure. By now I'm feeling torn between pleasing my overbearing mother and my fiance. Gregg and I get into our first real fight. I think very seriously about eloping.

A week went by without us nailing down a date. It was the beginning of October and we had gone out to dinner like usual. Over Italian, we talked about when the blessed event would actually take place. We went back and forth, throwing around every single weekend in 2003 it seemed. Then I had an epiphany. I said, "Why don't we just get married in January?"

And the angels sang.

It was perfect. Far enough away from my mom's wedding and we wouldn't have to wait so stinkin long to be hitched. We settled on the 11th because my sister and another bridesmaid would still be home from college on winter break.

I pitched the idea to my mother. She almost had a heart attack. I think she would have been more okay with us getting married in May at that point. To say she flipped out is an understatement. She said there was no way I could put together a wedding in three months. And don't you know that's only three weeks after Christmas? What if it snows?

I was pretty irritated and asked her what she expected me to do when she was making it near impossible to pick a date that suited everyone. I told her we were getting married in January, and that was that. She backed down, but did make sure to mention that she wouldn't be able to contribute anything cost-wise since, after all she was planning her own wedding.

Whatever, that was fine. We paid for the whole thing by ourselves (and it turned out pretty darn good), except for the flowers which my stepfather was actually nice enough to offer. Gregg's parents ended up giving us a check for about half the total we spent, which was a huge blessing.

My mother did the same thing to me last year when she chose not to throw me a baby shower, because my sister was getting married in July and again she did not want to burden family with having to attend two big events so close to one another. Gregg's parents once again picked up the slack, though. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law planned and hosted a shower for me. I found out later on that my mom was even reluctant at first to give my MIL a list of our relatives to invite.

This is why my mom and I have such a poor relationship. She is a very hurtful and selfish person. She only does things when they're convenient for her. She would rather "save face" with our extended family members than choose to celebrate a special occasion in her daughter's life.

I do not spend time with her alone anymore because the words that come out of her mouth leave me devastated. Long before Colton was even born, Gregg & I decided that our kids would never spend the night at her house because we don't want her negatively influencing them. We visit now and then, as a family, and that's really only after my mom hounds me to come see her.

I don't wish my mother harm. I do pray for her and try to show her Jesus the best I can. But I distance myself from her for obvious reasons. I've come to a point in my life where I need to protect myself and my family, which is now Gregg and Colton.

So that is the long-winded version of why my anniversary falls in January, instead of May. All because my mom threw a hissy fit.